New life as mirror of Christ

many thing happen, many thing change.. a lots of thing change.. not like before..
life feel like totally 360' change..
it is change.. but..

my sleeping problem not cure yet..
yesterday i really make myself sleep living room.. feel so uncomfortable..
but the feeling is not bad..

"current situation and environment in house"
my father talking gamble stuff with his taxi driver friend
whole topic about number number number and gambling..

----------------------------

return back to peace now.. but.. another case that interrupt me now
"current situation and environment in house"
my "few percentage" down syndrome brother, age 1993
is "torturing" or playing with my sister, age, standard 5
so noisy..

hallelujah~
God with me always..
he never bring unhappy thing..
he only bring joy and happiness
amen?

my mother addicted to online, no more teaching HER children or look at them "my brother and sister"
what to do?
my father feel his self dont need the responsibility to teach too
so no one teaching children
my brother just play with my sister..
my sister is normal, but my brother is same like 100% down syndrome
have cure, i guess

so noisy, cant think of anything to write, close~

It is another day.. again.. =)

everyday i see you, i see you always, and i am so happy because i always see your smile.. i love your laughing and i love you =) i wont force my feel to die, or struggle to own you. i will let everything goes normal, hope nothing bad will happen.. i just wanted to be with you, be beside you.. or somewhere near you.. dont make me worry, let me know you are always okay.. i dont like to see you sick or feeling uncomfortable.. i will always pray for you.. be fine and happy ya?

i really dont know what to do le..
i am your friend.. we always meet.. we talk everyday.. smile and laugh together.. but.. sometime i still feel that you dont really care me at all.. although we meet everyday but i always miss you and think of you.. i really cant stop my love for you.. it get deeper each day too.. be happy, cheer always.. if you are happy.. i am happy.. maybe.. but i really dislike seeing you talking or having fun with other guy.. it make me worry and feel jealous.. most reason is i know you dont have feel to me.. and i cant do anything to make you got feel to me.. this really so depressing.. i always have something to talk with you.. i always think of something to do on you, or talk on you.. but it just cant get reality.. imagination always not real xP i should get reality more.. right?

if i have chance to talk with you right now, and it is a chance that i can talk everything.. i hope i can tell you or talk to you this.. : -

Nicoles.. do you know that i love you so much? i feel sad daily, but i never get depress.. i am sad, because i feel like you dont really care about me lots.. you just treat me like so normal.. but i am the only one that treat you with heart.. i just want you to treat me more better than normal.. i hope you can smile always too when we together.. i really wish to care you de.. but i am so afraid that you reject.. whatever..

suddenly dont feel like writing that anymore..

Some miracle.. just happen

Miracle things that happen..

• injection machine, pvc material

today, i leave the machine run without people taking care of it, i notice that i have been away for more than 1 hours.. and the machine alarm have been rang for around 1 hours too.. pvc material should be burn already when i am away.. but it didnt.. no different and it is so fine like normal.. this is miracle xP

• my lonely sad lunch day

actually, i planned to eat myself today.. i asked someone to buy me two piece of chocolate waffle and bring it to me on lunch.. i will have it myself in factory.. but.. when i am going to be lonely.. something miracle have happen.. my lunch time for today changed!! i went out with my lovely Nicoles >3< we go out together.. just normal outing but i like the feeling so much.. and back time.. she asked me to fetch her back, and before that.. go bank first >< okay she is not my girlfriend.

for me, this is really a miracle thing.. maybe only myself can feel that.. and i know this is god give me de.. maybe god want me to stay strong, dont give up because it is not the time yet.. sometime.. i just dont feel like want it anymore.. it is enough.. i i.. T.T