23-04-2009

enough and no more

he will know what will he get if i am mad, why cant he stop his * attitude on how he chat? he is just like a * and i don't think he is that * or actually he do it on purpose? i already know it from early, he already don't want to be my friend or already don't treat me as friend so what he keep on bugging me? just stop popping out those useless things. you are so lame. so now if you read this, stop your pop up greeting if you don't want to chat with me. i will block you if you if i don't want to quarrel with you. what you made is making me angry, i wonder how you treat other friends of yours. from my knowing, they are quite okay to you, only me that is different. i blocked you before, you are making me sick. now i have to block you again, i have to choice, of course you are still my friend. i know you cant change already. i know you don't want me to be your friend too, end it then. it is okay, i will keep you in my friend list. i am sick of you.

ELRIC POST

i am a bit shock and a bit happy today. the moment when i see the online status is just like (hard to describe how happy am i) actually i plan to bath right away after work but i online first. is this what we call fate? if i bath and do everything, my online time will be late and i think i cant see you online. the advise you give me, thanks. i am going to sleep early tonight, just make a last post. tonight is a bit hot.

i don't know what i want to write now, i think i need some sleep. my body temperature is rising and i can feel the heat. must drink more water or i will fall to sick. how do i change my day, how to i change my life, everything is on my hand and by my hand, i am the one that controlling everything. this is my life, i can do whatever i want, why must i pass them?

i fall to a girl again, am i really serious or actually i am just playing a fool? the previous girl i like, actually i fall quite deep to her but she already been taken, i use quite hard time to forget and accept it. i will try my best to be the one you 认同 okay? sorry for my chinese word if there are some mistake, i already ask a lot of people but still cant get a confirmation. i will ask you something tomorrow if i see you, if not, i will send you a message and ask you in facebook. want to know something from you.

it is late now, time to sleep *yawn* actually i dont really get what you mean

23-04-2009 untitled

1:59 PM 

i can't stop myself thinking of you, what i want is some response. You seen to be avoiding me but why? What have i done, i don't mean to offend you if i really done something take make you feel upset. Are you angry with me? I will be right back, i want to check my sent item. 

2:39 PM 

i think i know what have i done. I don't mind that you don't want to forgive me, what i want to tell you is sorry, not going to repeat what have i done, please don't keep it in your heart. I already felt so regret on what have i do to your friend. Actually i suppose to be joking. 

2:51 PM 

bahasa melayu ialah sebuah subjek yang paling senang di malaysia, adakah ini betul? Dari dulu saya sudah berfikir begitu, sebenarnya bahasa melayu senang tetapi semakin lama saya belajar, semakin susah saya berasa, sebenarnya saya sudah tak berminat dengan bahasa melayu dan mula membenci melayu. Mengapa saya berfikir begini? Saya rasa tiada orang akan percaya apa yang saya kata, cikgu melayu tidak suka mengajar budak cina dan cikgu cikgu semua memandang rendah terhadap kami. Murid melayu juga suka menghina budak cina. Sebenarnya saya dah sangat malas dengan melayu. Saya tidak berfikir sebenarnya dunia ini masih ada melayu yang betul betul baik kerana melayu yang paling saya mempercayai boleh mengkhianati saya. Saya tak bermaksud nak cakap benda yang tidak baik terhadap melayu, saya percaya dunia ini mempunyai banyak orang melayu yang baik. Saya sebenarnya pun bukan seorang yang sempurna, saya kurus dan tinggi, berhati busuk, selalu membuat orang rasa tidak baik, cuma tahu cakap, penakut dan tidak bersosial. Saya membosankan dan tidak berguna langsung, seperti sampai dengan tong. Stop saying those, i am making myself feel down. Not suppose to think that negatively, i should be positive and confidence. 

3:14 PM 

i miss you so much, i hope i can always be with you, hug you tight and make you feel happy. What have i say and who is it to? I am feeling weird. I am feeling stupid. Stop saying i am feeling weird or stupid! Admit it and be brave to myself. Confidence! Okay now, write something later. 

3:42 PM 

i am training myself to be strong, it is physical training. I want myself to be strong. I already look thin, i don't want myself to be weak. No girl will like a guy that is thin and weak. My motive to be strong is to protect you. Cole is right, we are thin but we can be strong. 

3:58 PM 

i can't wait to go home and online. Still got one hour and thirty minute. RL actually do you think it is possible for me to fall on her after you? Do you think the feeling that i am having to you is fake last time? NO! I am really in L with you. In L with you then in L with her? Is it possible? I can't stick to you because you have been taken, in the time i feel unhappy, there are someone that accompany me and chat with me everyday. 

4:31 PM 

one more hours. I love plurking so much, how i hope that my friend can join plurk. It is a type of online shout out that can be comment and chat. Karma is for some accessibility on emotion and more. Chatting on plurk quite interesting and special, it is just like giving comment type me chatting. 

4:42 PM 

EL be confidence to yourself! This is what i tell myself when i feel like, i can't do it. Must be confidence to myself. My phone battery is showing low status already, my phone will off automatically. If you see some broken text after publishing this post, it mean my phone is out of battery. 

4:50 PM 

everything will be solve when we meet, to know whether i am real just playing, just find a day that we can meet. I will be the one that going to meet you. Actually i got plan and think to meet RL last time, i want to proof that i like her not because of image but heart. She's already unavailable, so it is over. Lets make it next month if i got time. 

5:07 PM 

twenty minute more, time pass very slow when we are waiting it to pass. I got one every interesting question, will you choose the one you love now if your life have been restart? Will you choose back your first love? My answer is, if one day i realizes that my life have been restart and i still have the memory of it, i will choose the one that i love now. I will beg my parent to move to the area that she is living. DREAMING. 

5:33 PM 

i will go home and publish this post later. I need to bath right away after get home because my body will be very heaty. Sleeping late for so many night, wakes up very early everyday too. I am lucky that i am still alive, every minute of me is tired. Walking back home now, publish this later.

post made early..

23-04-2009 hmm

8:44 AM 

good morning. Reach to office very late today :( luckily didn't get scold because my boss already don't care me, i am leaving. This last seven day in april will be the end of my work [i am so sleepy :/ i wonder how are you today, do you have a nice sleep? My phone wakes me up in very early time :( it is at five something in the morning. Not alarm.. It is sms from digi. For my knowing, most of your time you put silent mode on phone right? Make you a bento everyday for lunch if i am able, lunch must eat well only can work nicely, of course breakfast must take or you will be very hungry. Take care ;) i lost your working address signature x( okay then, work hard] i make a very late post last night, very tired. I don't know when will i fall to sick if i continue my act like sleeping late, i feel like my body is getting weaker. Last night i saw a post, i asked Raven is it a forward message. It is about itself, Raven don't seen like letting me know but i already know it a bit last night, i asked Penny to tell me what is it about. I am just like falling to wrong side again. Feeling hugs, holding hand, whats more? What it mean if i feel that? What else IF i don't? Of course i will never simply feel those to any people, not even parent or leng lui friend and more. 

9:37 AM 

forget to charge phone battery last night, i am too tired to remember. My phone battery will dry out if i listen to song and type this. 

i can like you but you can't, i don't think that you will like me because i am a coward in your eye, this is not the true reason i guess. You will like someone but you will not accept anyone. Unforgettable past, you will only fall to someone. It is okay for being rejected if thats the problem. 

My free time is almost there, type something later. I want to type and type and type.. 

10:33 AM 

i see some nice book with a name on it, i will snap in and post it up on bottom in this time line later. This is a very nice and interesting book, price not cheap too. I can't write much things now, boss blame me and say i lost something so i have to fine it out or i will get scold without doing any wrong or reason. Show you the book in this timeline. Write something later.

12:00 AM 

i feel a bit weird, am i in love again? My mind keep on thinking of it and i am starting to do so many silly things. Sometime when i feel like giving up or down, my mind will pop up a text and say be confidence! Is the feeling that i am having call temporarily type.. Time and my action will proof everythings. There are something i want to write out but don't know why *blush* never mind, make it next time. [hey :) lunch time is near now, next month i will be very free because i have resign. Don't know when only i can study or get a new job. I will bankrup but before that, want me to treat you lunch? Just accept if i asked, it don't take a long time. Eat whatever you want, i'll pay but you must take care my purse a bit.. Okay then] i am so hungry now, guess when is my favourite time in my day? It is lunch time, lunch time is my favourite time in everyday especially on weekday. Only EL will know why, why weekday lunch time is his favourite. My mother just called me, she say no one will be in house later because my father is working, my mother go out to see doctor with my sister and my brother is in school. I am a guy, a house without any people and i am online, am i a pervert? Will i watch p*rn or surf those website? Want me to say it honestly? Will i do that? Whole lunch time i will be alone in house, who will believe i don't get naughty? Naughty for watching p*rn. Please trust me, i swear, i will not watch P or search any naughty web. You must believe me, it is not the matter of i am pervert or not, i got a clean mind. I am going back home now. ONLINE. To know what have i do in lunch time, just asked me, i will tell you honestly, to get more stronger answer and true answer from me, ask me by telling me my code. HUNGRY! Go back home now, post end.

23-04-2009 a midnight post that type on a mood call stupid

i am still awake, the current time is almost one o'clock now, after finish this post i think it already pass one o'clock. i have been sleeping late from last week monday to now. i am so tired right now, sometime i feel like want to sleep so much and sometime dont. headache and dizzy, everything come when you are tired and dont want to sleep. what causing me dont feel like sleeping? what is the reason?

the reason is nonsense

• i cant end my day without knowing how are you today
• you seen to be okay and but i feel like there are something wrong
• i dont know whats wrong with me, i dont know whats going on
• it will be weird and no way to you
• i will try to give you air
• [write so much reason for what]

starting from now, i will start to write something thats to you, it will be in column [example] i dont care whether that you know or not, this is what i can do now. i hope i can have time everyday for making post on work. 7day more till the last day of my work. my father say he rather let me stay in home if i want to study so much, he say it dont effect him anything at all. i rather die if he is really that hopeless [;p you told me before, if i say i want to do something then i must do it or i am a coward, what i say just now? i rather die? LOL sorry, it is just an example saying that it is better than die, i am  guy, things that i say i want to do, i must do it]  sorry, i need some sleep now or i will write a lot, i am so sleepy already. short post, post end

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