live only myself

this morning, i wake up at 8.50am if i am not mistaken.. then i quickly go to brush my teeth and adjust my hair. every morning my hair will be like hell.. huh.. so it is fine.. then, when i want to change my clothe.. oh my god.. now i know all my shirt is very small.. i hate wearing small clothe, it feel uncomfortable.. all because i am poor, thats why. hate to be this. so then, this morning, when i go to work, the boss are like "something wrong" kan wo bu shun yan. this is true, i am not joking. i still havent counter his word, he is so damn fucking shit. next, boss wife, the way she treat me is making me more mad. looking down on me? what the fuck.. i am cursing them to die. the end~

another case.. if it is not necessary, i wont tell my happiness or unhappiness to people already, i hate getting fucking respond

wo hen xiang.. ni xiang ma? hai you qi ta..

1. gen ni yi qi
2. mei tian gen ni xin xi
3. mei tian jian dao ni
4. mei tian gen ni liao dian hua
5. mei tian kan dao ni de xin xi
6. mei tian ting dao ni dui wo shuo wo ai ni
7. hen xiang gen ni qu yue hui
8. hen xiang ban mei mei gei ni kan
9. hen xiang yao ni hen ai wo
10. hen xiang ni mei ci gao shu wo ni de dong xi
11. hen xiang liao jie ni gen duo
12. xiang yao qian ni shou
13. xiang yao bao zhe ni
14. xiang ba wo de ai chuan da gei ni
15. xiang qing ni
16. xiang gen ni qing
17. xiang yao gen ni kan dian ying
18. gen ni tan qing shuo ai
19. gen ni yi qi wan
20. mei ci gen ni yi qi shang wang wan game
21. mei tian gei ni gan wo qu shui
22. xiang yao ni mei ge wan shang dui wo shuo wan an
23. hen xiang mei tian gen ni jiang wo ai ni
24. xiang yao gen ni en en ai ai

jing tian, tu ran xiang dao zhe ge dong xi. xi wang bu hui shang dao ren. ye xi wang mei ren hui kan dao zhe li. wo zi shi xiang shuo chu wo zhen xin gan shou dao de hua. wo mei ci, shou dao yi xie duan de xin xi. zhe zhong xin xi, gen ben dou mei de hui fu de. ran hou. ru guo shi zai tan hua zhong shuo chu hao xiang zai xin xi de dong xi, gen ben dou bu hui you dong xi liao. zai xin xi li, wo gan jue dao, wo de dao de xin xi, bi peng you de xin xi gen jia len mo. zen yang shuo, wo dou shi yi ge hen te bie de ren. bu shi peng you, ye bu shi jia ren, wo shi ni te bie de ren. zuo me wo hui de dao zhe yang de dui dai de? zhe shi dui nan you de hui de xin xi ma? gan jue hen luan o.. yi ju hua shuo bu zhi dao hui shen me.. bu ran jiu bu hui ba.. bu hui wo xin xi, wo gen ben dou mei guan xi de, you xin, yi ding hui you dong xi hui. hao lei o 12.25am le.. zuo wan ci shui, jing tian ci shui.. yao si le lo.. hen duo dong xi hen fu zha, shuo le dou gai bu liao. qu shui lu..

愛のないソウル

zuo wan, you ren gao shu wo, zhe ge shi wo de bao ying..
wo jiu xiang dao.. si le.. zhe ci wo zhen de shi 苦 le..
talking thing about old will remind me a lots about my past. i am so regret on how i did last time. i seriously understand now, why i being hate by her. the deepest you love someone, the hatred you have is more strong.
chen jing you ren wei le wo fu chu le hen duo dong xi, yi qian wo jing ran yi dian dou mei gan shou dao. mei you bei da dong. shuo de mei cuo, wo shi yi ge hen ben de ren. but whatever. wo de bao ying, jiu shi, i wont get any love from the one i love now. huh? it is a very complicated love. not being care or love anymore, or, i cant feel? gosh.. again? zhe shi wo bao ying.. i dont want to love anymore after this.. serious

どのように好きですか？

i have no choices but, i need to hide something in this post, in case that i effect someone. actually yesterday i am going to write something about "what thing will you do when you in love with someone" things that you never know why you want to do. love someone, dont need a reason, do something for the one you love, no reason too. to me, last time i am very stupid, people do something to me, i never feel it. plus i never know how to love. so now, i believe that i have improve, but it is still not enough.

sometime, i really dont know..

[this post, i write yesterday, because computer got problem, so i didnt complete it, but i still publish it]

de kong mei shi zuo

hen xiang qu shui le dan shi bu xiang shui
ying gai shuo wo hen lei le, dan shi bu xiang shui
gan jue, hen gu dan, hen ji mo o..
zui duan de blog, bu xie le, wan an, xia xia

chen mi zhe zi ji

huhu, jin tian hao lei o.. mei ci qu klang dou bu hui you hao dong xi, guo ran shuo de mei cuo. si ren tou lao ban, wu duan duan sha shang lai klang, hai dao wo mei de gen bao bei yi qi jiu yi dian, hai dao wo gan zhe hui qu zuo gong. wo zui tao yan gei ren gan zhe zuo dong xi de. jin tian dou man shi bai de, qian bu dao bao bei de shou. bao bu dao ta, ye qing bu dao ta. shuo bu gan, bu shi bu gan.. shuo bu hao yi shi, mei ren hui xing wo. lao shi shuo ba, wo hen bu gan qu pong bao bei. wo gan jue hen bu hao. ah nick shuo guo, mei you bao, mei you qian shou, zhe yang shi qing lu?
wo yi jing dui zhe zhong gan jue hen len mo le, shen me gan jue? bu zhi dao leh. ru guo mei you ren dui wo yao jing yi dian, wo kan, wo duo mo xi huan ta, dou bu hui shuo qiang. jin tian, kan dao bao bei de xiao rong, gan jue hen kai xin. hen xi wang wo ke yi de dao gen qiang de you mo gan, gen jia hui shuo hua. zhe yang wo jiu ke yi kong zi dao bao bei. bu xiang zai ba bao bei fang de tai zi you le, xiang yao ta kao zai wo shen shang.
ti pa, wo zhen de ai shang le bao bei. mei you xuan zhe le. gan jue bu dao fu chu, gan jue bu dao fang chu. shen me dou gan jue bu dao. hao xiang zai zi ai zi lian de, xD zhen hao xiao de wo. ben si le. wo xian zai hen lei, wo shen me dou bu xiang zai xiang le. wo zai chi zhe fan. gang hui lai, dou hen jiu le, hen xiang zhao shui. deng xia jiu qu shui le.
ping chang dou hui yong ying wen xie blog de wo, jing ran yong pin yin.. jin tian de xie blog mood ba. mei xin qing yong ying wen xie blog. wo zui ai wan le. shen me dou yao wan cai ke yi. lian zuo gong dou yao wan. wo bu shi bu ren zhen. wo tao yan ren zhen. dong xi ke yi zuo, dan shi, dou yao wan. bu kai xin ye yao wan, kai xin ye yao wan. na bu shi hen hao ma? hen duo dong xi dou shi zi ji zhao lai de, hen duo bu kai xin dou shi zi ji zi zuo de. quan shi jie zui ben de jiu shi wo.
gan jue zui ling wo shi bai de jiu shi. wo bu neng gai bian yi ge ren. gai bian bu liao ta de que dian. gai bian yi ge ren de que dian, erm, que dian jiu shi bu hao de xi guan. wo de yi shi, da gai shi zhe yang. gang huan le keyboard. yi dian bu xi guan, dan shi dou man hao yong xia de. ji xu xie.. wo yi jing wang le hen duo dong xi lu.. zuo ren ye kai xin duo le, kai xin de shi, wang le bu kai xin de dong xi. quan dou shi bao bei de gong lao. ta kai jie le wo hen duo. ta dou man hao. wo bao bei hor, ta shi man ben de ren lai de. zuo ta de dada, zhen de shi hen qi o.
bao bei, dui wo lai shuo, shi yi ge hao nv shen. hen xi huan ta o.. dan shi =) zai mou xie wen ti shang, chu le xie zhuang kuang. dou shi jie jue de shi hou lu. wo zui tao yan ye man de nv shen, tao yan ba dao de nv shen, tao yan bu xing wo de ren. bao bei dou bu shi wo tao yan na zhong. ta hen hao, ta zui hao. ke neng shi wo wen ti huo zhe shen me ba. wo bu neng zai yun lai dong xi le, yun lai zi ji hao le. wo que shao yi zhong dong xi. ling dao bao bei bu hui zen me dui wo, erm, zen yang shuo. jiu hao xiang qing lv, wu xiang liao zi ji de dong xi, wu xiang fa biao zi ji de dong xi. bu hui shuo mei yi wen. wo hen xian mu ah nick gen ta nv peng you, ah nick zuo gong de shi, ke yi gen ta nv peng you yi qi tan. xi huan yi ge ren jiu shi hen xiang gen ta fen xiang suo you dong xi ba. ran hou, hen xiang qu zhi dao gen li jie. peng you ye yi yang. wo gen bao bei yi qi kai xin de dong xi, wo hui gen ah wen feng xiang gen shuo. ta ye hui gei wo yi wen, bu hui shuo o, zhe yang ar?
wo zhe ge bai liu yao qing jia, shui yao gen wo chu qu? bu xiang liu zai jia. zuo gong ya li zhen de hen da le, mei de shu jie mei guan xi. mei de fang song jiu shi da wen ti.

hai you, mou xie dong xi
wo men shi ren lei, ru guo you ren ling dao zi ji fan gan, hen zi ran jiu hui tao li ta
ru guo ting dao mou xie fan gan ge, hen zi ran hui bu ting
dui peng you zuo le fan gan de dong xi, peng you hen zi ran hui tao li
dui shui ye yi yang, wo gan jue fan gan, huo zhe you dong xi bu xiang zai yu dao, ye hui tao li

jing tian xie de blog, bu hui you ren kan de dong le, xie xie, wo xie le hen duo dong xi lu.. shuang, chi hao fan le lu.. qu chong liang

love short story

06-09-2010 (first day of love) my lovely rei confess on me because she scare that i will be stolen <3

07-09-2010 my night confession.. so nervous.. >< i want to tell you, i love you

08-09-2010 i promise to be her that i will be her!!

09-09-2010 plan to talk with her tonight before sleep.. wish to tell her.. my feel (cant get to call her) sad

10-09-2010 hope to see her in webcam ><

11-09-2010 want to call her tonight, promise myself to be brave

12-09-2010 a day that i worry about out meet, another promise, i will meet her on this tuesday

13-09-2010 my mood is very bad today, i want to call her, i want to talk with her

14-09-2010 meet dear today, love her, but not enough strong

15-09-2010 must listen to her and sleep early today, everyday

16-09-2010 i talk a lot with dear at phone, a lot, but not very

17-09-2010 rei not very happy and fan, yang hope she everyday can fine

18-09-2010 want to tell and teach rei how to comfort and help people (we talk phone until very late^^)

19-09-2010 sms very less but very nice too, cookies and chocolate, i will make for you

20-09-2010 talk phone with her again, hehe

21-09-2010 tell her that, if my life restart, i will choose her

22-09-2010 she study so hard until not enough sleep, talk phone with her until 1am ><"

23-09-2010 talk phone until very late at night with rei >< sweet

24-09-2010 got little mistake about her and ex but it is fine already

25-09-2010 a very busy day, didnt sms rei a lot =(

26-09-2010 tell her something, hm.. try ba.. my old thing (say about i love you now) old thing next time 

27-09-2010 a very worse night 

28-09-2010 i want to cry 

29-09-2010 i make my dear cry.. =( 

30-09-2010 i love you i love you i love you (treat you seriously) 

01-10-2010 super weird rei da

02-10-2010 angry worry, phone expired cant contact me.

03-10-2010 sad, didnt tell me anything, hate you!!

04-10-2010 we sing song at night >< sweet~


05-10-2010 cant sms or call rei liao =(

06-10-2010 rei no sms me a lot =(

Elric Tearious Unsatisfactory (facebook)

speechless? actually, i don't know what to say anymore, if you are really speechless, i think there is really problem between you or us. maybe i don't know how to manage a relationship, that's true. i am wondering, why cant i make her friend accept me or like me? is it because of my ex? spreading my bad thing?
comment here

i cant promise you to go to bath early, er.. reason, i don't feel like want to bath yet, things you say cant move me. i am confusing and disliking those speechless attitude, actually there are so many thing that you can say. keeping continue being like this, really killing my mood and feel. i might give up someday, seriously
comment here

by the way, i am going to bath now, maybe writing this is my night homework i guess, unsatisfied with my current relationship and status, i am so damn unhappy with this. but whatever, i don't have the right, or wrong plus it is same to her. today i get a very hard feel. i don't think you will be how if i give up. or yo...u want me to treat you like the way you treat me? you will hate me, this is sure. be right back..
comment here

just come back, damn stupid internet browser having error, i think this must be that anti virus fault. i went out to buy a reload card for my girlfriend, her phone out of credit. i am still very unsatisfied, is everything about you, or from you, are not necessary letting me know? anything are not necessary telling me?
comment here

i wonder.. does she really go through my post? maybe we're really in love with each other. you feel it is no problem, nothing wrong in our relationship? i told you everything, everything, not anything. you told me nothing, i feel like i don't know you much now. how many time i explain, you still cant get what i mean about letting me know your status.
comment here

want to cry already, but, am i suppose to do so? i don't know. so fine then. she don't really get where is the problem is. i mind that i know something suddenly because, if i don't ask, i will never know. sometime even if i ask, she wont tell, so what? sharing me your thing, not necessary to do that? so, you are asleep now..
comment here

going to sleep at 3am later, so excited playing dragonica, my last post for today. who having problem here? people that should have problem is me, not you, so what you think so much? or it is actually, you got problem, so you infect me? is it? i don't know. dont disturb me, i want to play dragonica =D good night 3am sleep later
comment here

wake up very early today, wake up by [ Daii Ruii ] i wonder how is her now, worry.
zuo wan de shi, mei guan xi, wo hui xiang de, bu xiao xin shui le, wo ye xiang ni zao shui. wen ti bu shi zhe ge, wo ye bu hui jie shi. ren zhen wen xi kao shi jiu dui le. wo bu shi ge ye man ba dao nan you ;)
comment here

offline, get ready to work now, going to buy redbull later, or i am really going to collapse.
problem : actually what i want is, i wanted to know more about you, hope that you will tell me anything or thing about you. everything is necessary to let me know, plus i tell you everything, right? off to work now, bye
comment here

just back home from lunch, didnt bring bottle to work, no water drink >.<" actually i want to buy kopi + milo but ah nick ah wei didnt come to work, so jia lat. today [ Daii Ruii ] sms me at morning, i think got 3 or 4 already =) i feel like, she is trying to sms me only, still dont really get what i mean. my phone will be active tomorrow
comment here

my loving feel

wo dui ai zui pa de shi. zui zhen shi de shi

i believe in love, same as i believe i will lost my love

[wo xiang xing ai, tong yang de wo ye xiang xing hui shi qu ai]

in this world, guy that is truthful got how much?

[zai zhe ge shi jie, zhen xin nan de you ji duo?]

know each other, loving each other, suspecting each other

[ren shi, xiang ai, xiang fang hua yi]

break and together back, both dislike

[fen shou, he hao, xiang fan ge tao yan]

 only want to love like normal

[zi xiang ai dao zi ran]

i scare in love, same to i scare i cant get love

[wo pa ai, tong yang dou pa de bu dao ai]

in this world, girl that is straight, got how much?

[zai zhe ge shi jie, zhen xin nv you, you ji duo?]

 together, live together, both wasting time

[yi qi, zhu yi qi, wu xiang lang fei shi jian]

i am bored with fate and destiny

[men le yuan fen gen ming yun]

dont want to simply love

[bu xiang ai dao hen cincai]

it is better that we dont know each other

[zui hao shi chong lai bu ren shi dui fang]

dont want to give you think

[bu xiang yi zi ling ni kao lv]

dont need to know each other is who

[bu shu yao zhi dao dui fang shi shui]

dont want to let you cry

[bu xiang ling ni sha lei]

 

100 question, can you do to your love one?

hey, checkout something interesting here, i copied from my girlfriend blog, she pasted this from her friend blog i guess, love this question so much, by the way, it is in chinese word. i answer it with english xD hope she see that.

1.把fb密码告诉她。
i will let her know of course, why must i hide.

2.银行的密码告诉她。
i will scare my account with her, share even my money.

3.冬天允许她把手放到你身体里。
i will give her warm, always.

4.可以让她随时翻你手机。
i will let her hold my friend when we are dating.

5.行街时，要拉着她的手，不许放。
i will hold her hand, wont let her go, that's my promise.

6.不许先挂她电话。
okay, i will let her cut my phone.

7.不许对她大声说话。
i will not, sorry for that previous case ><

8.要给她介绍你所有的朋友。
hehe, ah nick, ah wei, and other net friend.

9. 陪她逛街时不能说累。
okay, no problem ;)

10.把她的的相片放在手机屏幕上。
haha xD so nice

11.不说她傻。
zheng chang de bao bei

12.不说她笨。
chong ming de dear

13.不伤她心。
sure wont!!

14.不欺负她。
hen nan de leh >< hao ba..

15.不凶她。
zhe shi yi ding de

16.不对她摔东西。
yi ding bu hui

17.要会逗她笑。
wo hui de

18.会说甜言蜜语。
zai xue le ><

19.要说到做到。
zhe shi yi ding de

20. 有事随叫随到。
jing liang, chong kl dou hui lai

21.允许她掏你口袋。
mei wen ti ar

22.要鼓励她打扮。
zai da gai zhao le lo

23.不许说她丑。
wo de rei, yuan ben jiu hen hao kan

24.不许说她胖。
bu hui ba, man okay de.

25.陪她看电视。
zhe yao wen ta lo

26.不许嫌她手艺不好（再难吃也要夸好）。
hao chi hao chi

27.大节小节都要送礼物给她（不在乎礼物的贵贱）。
mei ci dou song gei ni ><

28.无论她什么时候 饿，都要陪她吃饭。
wei lai bu chang hui ni

29.吵架一定是你先道歉。
of course

30.每年去不同的地方（没钱就去不同的公园）。
haha!! yi ding

31.发现美女时，不许斜眼。
wo dou bu kan de, wo kan dear er yi

32.她撒娇的时候你要配合。
gei ta zuo da ><

33.要陪她一起疯。
wo yuan ben shi feng de

34.行街累了，就背她。
bei dao ma? ><

35.要学会做饭给她吃。
wo xiang xue liao li le, re ben de

36.每天要打电话给她。
xi guan le..

37.她打电来时一定要接。
ken ding

38.不叫她做不愿意的事。
wo bu bi ta de, wo wei xie ta xD mei you la, ta bu yuan yi, zen me shuo dou bu zuo de

39.她煮饭时，要陪她一起。
yi qi zai chu fang

40.答应她的事不能讨价还价。
bu hui bu hui

41.有快乐时要和她一起分享。
yi ding lo

42.有痛苦时要和 她一起分担。
ni de jiu gei wo, wo de jiu gei wo

43.为她，做个大男人。
haha xD hao

44.不许和前女朋友联系。
hao!!

45.她生病时要监督她吃药。
sha le ta ru guo wan fan buo

46.为她洗脚。
 hao lo

47. 要陪她散步。
yi ding hui de

48.要相信她。
hao de

mei nai xin xie le, quan da ying ni jiu shi le ><

49.不许拿她和前女友比较。
50.不许骗她。
51.不许说她声音难听。
52.不 许酒后****。
53.不可以打她。
54.抱她在怀里。
55.收到她短信马上回。
56.要学会自己检讨。
57. 最好不要抽烟、喝酒。
58.在她失落时，你要安慰她。
59.她哭时，你要把她紧紧地抱着。
60.要给她暖被窝。
61. 给她梳头发。
62.不许说她抹指甲油。
63.她生日时，必须第一个时间给她浪漫和惊喜。
64.在你朋友面前给足面子她。
65. 散步时要走在她的左侧。
67.无论一起多久都要保持新鲜。
68.要接受她的过去。
69.晚上要抱着她睡。
70.在她睡醒 时，给她一个吻。
71.不能对任何一个人都比她好。
72.危险的事不能让她做。
73.下雨时，要为她打伞。
74.夏天时 给她擦汗。
75.陪她一起运动。
76.行街时要为她拿东西。
77.不给她吃一些对她身体不好的东西。
78.记得她的爱 好。
79.乘车时要抱着她。
80.去的时候记得带她。
81.她去别的地方时，你要记得随时打电话给她，让她小心。
82. 要接她上课下课（上、下班）。
83.晚上不要把手机给关了。
84.她喜欢什么就给买什么。
85.把她照顾好，不让她生病。
86. 为她修指甲。
87.她在身边时不能接女的电话。
89.每天都吻她几次。
90.不把别人气发在她身上。
91.上网时，第 一时间看她在不在。
92.不和别人的女仔有关系。
93.不做对不起她的事。
94.要给她安全感。
95.每隔一段时间就买 一束花给她。
96.把她的号码放在第一位。
97.过马路时一定要把她牵紧。
98.她不舒服时要陪在她身边。
99.对她要 一心一意。
100.要让她做最幸福的女人。



><" 夸张..

today, you are so weird (actually you are normal)

i don't know how to say about you, maybe it is my fault. i am the one that causing a lots of problem..
it must be another failure of love and relationship. i chosen the wrong person to love? i start to blame something about. i admit, i have fail a relationship. i blame everything to myself because i don't know how to manage love and relationship well. this time, might be another problem, of myself. i hate myself so much.. how to grab a girl heart? i look myself too high already, i think i am so great in handling already.. but no.. confidence, is, fake..