13-06-2009

june10
finally we are out from the car, reached genting skyway cable car parking place, you know what have i see? Carrien is so short, shorter than me, almost a head of height. her parent dont seen to be short to me but she is very short, bring me some feeling of cute. at very first, we dont really talk a lot, i feel a bit like being dump or abandon. luckily i am going with her, Carrien family bring quite lots of thing to genting. i will slowly get more confidence to myself when i am with her more, change braver and more man. at the cable car, on the way up to genting, talk a bit with Carrien. actually we are planning sit all together but there are still people that hop up. Carrien sister is very pretty and nice, giving us a free ticket for theme park, help us book a room too.. we wait her in cable car area there. actually i already see her sister before if i am not wrong, see in photo of course. Carrien showed me her chinese new year photo once and i remember it till now, thats why Carrien cousin sister look so familiar. we should thanking Carrien cousin sister a lot for the room booking and theme part ticket. it is indoor and outdoor ticket, not cheap too. after meeting Carrien sister, we walk our own to first world hotel lobby. almost lost because of dont know where. the time, on elevator down to lobby if i am not wrong, suddenly someone hold my hand, guess who, at that time i am a bit shock because it is my first time holding hand with a girl that i love. honestly last time i got hold and touch girl hand before, just normal touch and hold. try imagine and think, there are A LOT people in lobby and the number that we got, 368 by 152.. mean the current number is 152 and we get 368. auntie ask us to go and play first while waiting the room to be checkin. the time is afternoon if i am not wrong, before we go to play, we go for a walk at inside, slowly cut through and go in theme park, we play nothing at the time, there are too much people in the park, almost EVERY game is full and need to wait a long time to play. we just sit down and eat something, share a a box of fried rice and two stick of nugget. at that time, Carrien so bad, she know my appetite is not good and cant eat, she bite a bit the nugget and bait me to eat, haha, i finish it. from what i know about Carrien, she choose not to eat or eat less to diet, it will effect her health and actually we dont have to eat less to diet, what we need is control our food eating habit and time, it is the most healthiest way for me and dont need to be starving. she dont eat will make her cant eat a lot, she eat less will make her no appetite to eat, if eat a lot, she will vomit. i am quite pity about her, i dont mind if she dont diet and eat more. i really miss the moment when we are together, it is very great. later when it is almost time, we went out of theme park and have some walk. Carrien say she want to try the spiderman things at outside, it is so cool, i feel like flying, too bad that i cant see the front well or it will be great. Carrien is a lefty if i am not wrong, she like me to be on her left side more when holding hand. i cant write much of my memory here because it is too much, i only will write what i remember. lets see what i present her, a thick jacket that got feather, a pair of earing, a hair ribbon and.. i think thats all i guess. i will upload photo that i left out in here. my favourite moment, only short time, june11 other breakfast, on bed, i am the one that grab her hand first ;) thats all, all my photo, facebook + blog
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30185870&l=1bfb468a61&id=1487357364
this is a photo that we snap on first day at indoor.. floating flying ship, i dont really know how to express on photo ;p
my emotion dont really look like that, just stunned by capturing
my eye so small and emo~
another emo eye
her brother pick this sit and ask me to snap photo, so great (^_^)v
this is a nice shoot yo
genting view = hotel
stick closer next time ;)
although it is a dark image, quite nice
another view
she like to play tongue, lol
i ask her bother to snap photo too sudden le la
i am a good photo shooter



ah hao look other side already ar..
this photo is a great shot ;)


very nice tower




xD she put down her zip already
i like this photo

this apek, who is him?


x(
see uncle look so lonely

11-06-2009

june 10
i wake up at very early time for going out to genting, my planning is kepong ktm to kl centrel then from there to genting. this is what i want to do at very early time. i feel that myself is a bit lucky because i can get a taxi at early morning time to kepong ktm. the uncle tell me, go from other place will be quicker but i dont know how, what i plan is, kl centrel to genting there. actually i lost in kl centrel, dont know where to go.. a bird guided me, chirping me the direction and tell me what to do. i take quite long time in kl centrel, wondering around, think of how.. carrien asked me to sit bus to somewhere but luckily i haven't decide and confirm yet, a long with the chirp of bird, with carrien idea, i sit ktm to rawang from a very long way..
i snap this photo in train when i am on my way to klang, so sleepy and tired.. a bit boring too, carrien called me few time asking me how am i now.. i feel that she is a bit scare of meeting me but she have to meet me to confirm our love. at very first, i feel so stressing when i am about time to meet her, i scare i will dont like her but dont know why, my heart beat so fast, i feel so nervous. actually this is what we call, love in first sight. she dont really talk with me much when we meet and i am trying to stick her, her parent is quite funny and good too. we went to genting by the cable car, genting skyway.

make part two of this tomorrow, current time 11pm so sleepy

09-06-2009 fragile

don't ask me anything about this post if possible. don't know why will i have this kind of thinking, i feel that myself is a bit meaningless. not because of some matters of problem but it make me feel like i cant decide something by myself yet, until now i still need to pass the adult but actually in officially saying, age 18 can be call as adult. it make me feel a bit down and i got think to make a short term disappearance to all of my friend. i don't know when will i disappear or hide myself, it will be on anytime, no one will be able to make any contact with me till the day i appear. maybe i will not appear back to anyone in future or something. i feel so weak, it make me want to hide myself. do anyone feel that i want to leave? what i want is hide myself from light, store myself in darkness. i really feel so useless. i can feel very sad so easily, suddenly or any small thing.. it is a bit same when i am getting mad too, can be easy if my mood is not good. just a short post.

08-06-2009

Sorry dear, i can't promise you to sleep early now, i want to write this blog so i hope you can understand.

Current time 1:34 AM about my previous post, i realized something, Carrien didn't lied me anythings, why am i feeling sad is she didn't think to show me her look at very early time. So now i have accepted her late showing image of her. I am going to ask dear checkout some photo of mine at facebook so that she will confirm my look. I am poor, i don't have work, didn't study, i am dumb, i am stupid, i am quiet, i don't know how to talk, i am not handsome, i got a lots of pimple, i look so sleepy every time, i always not enough sleep, i am so thin and i am so tall, my hair look lame. Hope she don't mind. Going to end my post. Good night.

edit
a straight relationship to couple, we don't really friend yet, i hope that we can understand each other well till forever. i dont really have much confidence about this, i really scare you will mind the useless me plus i am a guy that will cry, i am so useless right. i will try my best to be a good boy friend, promise

08-06-2009

just now i went to jusco, actually i am think of buying a happy card from jusco or change my call plan to postpaid, i don't like to make call with worrying my calling credit. i feel so down after i forget this important things. actually today my mood is a bit not good, i feel a bit like crying too. this morning carrien show me some photo of her, she look very mature, really, i am not lying. i will love her no matter how she look like i dont mine, i feel like she want to lie me but i know, she will be honest with me, i will believe every word she tell me. honestly i cant accept what have she show me today, i dont mind how she look. i feel like she dont want to let me see or know how is her look till the day we meet. i know, at last she still let me see how is she look like but i really feel a bit dont like and uncomfortable. i will be crying if everyone is on bed now. carrien, i love you. i feel so unhappy and i dont know how to say or mean it. i am sorry. i dont mind how you look but i mine that you show me so late and didnt think of showing me before. i just feel a bit uncomfortable with this.

my parent, yesterday say okay, can fetch me to carrien house, now my parent say, dont go and tell carrien now. i dont want and i want to go, i want to meet carrien. i am feeling so down about this, my parent never support me for everything that i have choosen, it is anything. they tell me a lots of reality stuff too, it is ancient story of love. my parent say i will be abandon and she would like me. my parent say what else if she dont look as same as photo. my parent tell me a lot of stuff and i didnt say anything and mute, i will argue with them if i say something. i am not a good guy, i hate my parent, i dislike my parent, i quarrel with them because i dont like them. they disagree me to go now, i will try my best to meet you, i know i am dumb, i know i am inexperience plus this is my first time on date and meet parent too, i will be very nervous, after all i am still a 18years old kid<

you have offend me, i know you dont mean it, i hope it wouldn't happen anymore, i am really feeling sad about this

07-06-2009 sunday <3

last night happen something that is very awful, i feel very sad about it and i feel like crying, i don't know why i feel so no confidences to this relationship, maybe it is my first time on relationship. at very late time, me, ron, joey and carrien is in a conversation in msn, our chat is very normal at first, ron and joey is chatting about novel and me, i just keep on interrupting ron and joey chat. ron and joey haven't know that actually i am in love with carrien and she is my girlfriend, when we are on the middle of the conversation, ron and joey suddenly feel weird and noticed that me and carrien is weird. ron and joey suddenly say i like raven before then i like another girl again when they know i like carrien.. i don't mean to hide anything of myself and pass, i wish to tell her all my things too but i just don't have the time yet. i feel so relief after she forgives me . this morning, she send me few photo of herself, it is some photo that she snapped on chinese new year time, she tell me that she is fat and look ugly, if i really love her, i will never mind on how is her look. honestly, she look very mature and adult to me, my mother say the feeling can be different if we meet up. what i want is a confirmation of my feeling to her. i feel so happy and very touches because there are a girl love me so much. i hope that our feeling is real and our relationship can last forever. i am now your boyfriend, i am your dear, i am your lao gong.

last night when carrien is angry with me, ron and joey got help me say something good and hope that me and carrien will be okay. they say i will cry if she don't forgive me, the true is really i will cry but it is too shy to tell that. when carrien is on a chat with joey, carrien tell me that joey like me or something.. i really don't know that, what i know is she hate me so much. i hope that she is okay. in text world, i am very stupid and like making fun or disturbing, sometime i might offend people too, i am so sorry about that to all.

my parent, when did they start to be that stubborn and hard to talk with.. i already forget when is it. my parent never understand me from kid time, they don't know why i cry, why i angry, why i can study well and more. they care me but they care on wrong way. in my child age, there are too much of misunderstanding things happen, i will not forget it, why own children thinking and feeling also don't understand, i really don't have any idea about this. until no and today, everything is still same. i tell my parent i got a girlfriend already, i want to go genting with her family on wednesday, they say why so fast meet her then why go genting with her parent. my parent say, i don't have anything, shoes or shirt, all don't have, including money, my parent say no money don't think to have any girl first.. haih.. i know they got their reason and got its right. from what i know, they never say something that's is good, i mean example on my side or support my thinking and way, they never do or think that.

carrien tell me that she want to read my blog, hehe.. hope my blog is okay..


edit post

i feel like actually you should be telling me early or showing me early, i feel a bit scare and unsure that we wouldn't get a long well, i never expect or think, how is my girlfriend in future plus i don't really mind if i like ;)

06-06-2009 <3

there are a girl call Carrien, i know her not more than a month of time, at first, we don't really know each other, normal short chat on facebook only. we slowly go into some long chat and exchange our phone number. me and her, it is something like fate that have been make out. i use to be a very shy boy, i don't dare to make call to unknown and more but i have called her in a very short time after she asked me. i feel so happy and warm when we are on phone, there are a type of feeling of "i don't want to lose you" actually i never expect that an relationship of couple can out that quick in a short time, honestly i love her so much now. last night, when i am on chat with her, i accidentally make offend with my word. afterward, i call her.. when we are on phone, i asked her "why will you love me" she say it is because of feel. she confessed me that she love me and she requested me to be her girlfriend, it is what guys normally do to girl. i feel so touching and have some short tears falling moment, i feel so happy. Carrien is the only girl that loved me so much, i will promise her to take care her well forever and wouldn't her upset with any matters. i am a guy that not really good in expressing my feeling and i am not very good on talking too, i don't know how to say much of those sweet things. i will never lie her and i will be honest to her. it is my first time, telling a girl on phone that i love her, she is my first girlfriend that i have, i love you so much, Carrien. she asked me a lots of question, it is something like testing me too.. i am a bit dumb and don't know what to answer but of course i got tell her, she like my answer. i will share some question that she asked, "you kissed with any girl before" of course no. she ask me, "do you mind that i take away your first kiss" of course i will answer, i don't mine, she is my girlfriend. she ask me "can i kiss you" after she ask me this, she say "what else if i don't want to kiss you" i tell her that i will kiss her, either in public or anywhere. we planned to go genting and stay one night, only our two, renting hotel to stay in same room. this is what she suggested and ask me, it is okay for me but i am worrying on something. although that i am a dumb guy, i watch a lots of drama, listen a lots of thing and know a lot, even anime got teach, it is too obvious. a couple, in one room, stay over night together, what will a couple do? HONESLTY i don't hope that we will happen anything, i am quite agree on having those after married. what am i worrying about is, i scare that she will *request for it, don't me when i say no, angry with me if i say no, beg me for it or try anything for it* i am really worrying about this when we are on genting. i want to be with her, i want to be together with her. by the way, i ask her out for gathering at time square, i hope she can go with me and have fun with me at there.. i she want to go.. going to end my post

Carrien, we will be together forever, i will make sure that you will be the world happiest girl, although that i know i am poor and i dont really have much ability for much things but i will do what i can and what i afford. i dont know whether will you understand my blog or will you read, what i want to tell you is, lao po i love you

post even

post edit
going to genting together is what we want, i think i am going to genting with her family this wednesday, i am so nervous

05-06-2009 CC is her nick

i am 1990, age don't even reach 19 yet. i am type of people that like girl that is older than me but of course it is not about maturity. i like girl that is older and have a very cute young heart, i found that that this type of girl is quite attractive for me. when did i start having this type of mind thinking? i don't really sure when. i know a girl name Carrien Chong, i know her in facebook, she born in year 1988 mean she is older than me at least two years. from what she tell me, she have a boyfriend before. she tell me that she already been single for more than a year and she is hoping to get new relationship. she don't mind of having a 1990 guy to be with her. for me, i wouldn't accept a quick relationship like straight to couple, i will slowly get to know her in real life and slowly from friend to closer relationship. i don't have experience at all, i am a bit worry about this relationship too. what scare about is, she will mine about me.. i think she got a bit like me ;p last night we have a very long phone call, my credit.. used RM20+ on CALL.. around RM23 for 1hours and 10minute something.. then next call is around .. forget.. call two time.. T^T credit is so damn pain but it is worth, count as an experience for me then.. i never been a call for that long with a girl ;p she is.. haha. last night when i make call with her, i feel so damn nervous.. when we are on the phone, honestly, her voice is so soft and not easy to listen and know what she talk, i will slowly get use to it if we are having a lots of call. she is a bit cute to me, telling me she is jealous and more, ask me who is estelle, why treat her so good, haha. promise not to do those anymore ;p last night conversation is very nice :) it is my first time talking with a girl for that long. last night conversation is so much and too much.. she help me find a work on newspaper, read and let me hear. she say she will help me ask her employer for a work too.. distance, she suggest me to live with her, LOL ;p whats more.

okay then, i am going to end my post now, i like her when she say she is jealous xD

04-06-2009 new blog

A brand new look for my blog, i don't think there are people will know or understand how difficult for a blog edit. I hope i can get more visitor for some comment about my blog template. It is really a very tough edit. Sometime i don't understand why people don't want their blog to have more stuff, is it because of complicated or you don't know how to set? Most of the reason i get is, why must i put or i want my blog to be silent or no comment. When i ask again, another reason will be made. Honestly it is not that complicated if you have a lots of stuff on blog, what we need is arrange. I feel quite satisfy with my current blog, i already made a very big edit from the original look to the current look of the blog. I don't expect any comment, saying that my blog is so nice, how you make or what. I just want to let everyone know i don't copy people blog layout to use, i just take the original one to edit. The blog that i am having is unique and no people will have it. Next, i am going to edit the color, i am wondering, what color should my blog be, red, blue, green or current color? To make my blog become more unique, i will edit the color.

I readed Shirley post at last, actually i already know what she going to write when i read the blog first few sentences. The possibility of them, being together, is very high, although the disagreement of Shirley parent is very tight but i don't think there are no hope for it. Shirley must be strong, don't give up, i don't believe that you wouldn't get something you want, the guy of course. For the gathering, i am going to attend no matter what will happen. I don't think she will visit my blog anymore, just make a wish and hope to her then.

I am feeling damn down, the feeling that i am having now is damn sad. My heart, crack like a class, trying my best to hold myself from yelling, hold my tears from falling.

To Ron, you are not reading this right, IF i bu suang you, i will tell the world i love you and we are gay, if you continue spoiling my image, i will gay you until you be guai. Ron, i love you.

Erica, haha, she is so cute, send me so many love, heart and kiss to me at facebook^^ thanks a lot. For estelle, sorry.. This few day i don't really have the mood to play pet society, promise you i will buy you a lots of gift when i am back to pet society.

x( i love my current blog so much! Good night, current time 5:10 AM june4

03-06-2009 facebook tag

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, copy and paste this note, erase my answers and enter your own, tag people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage : plain water
2. Last phone call : so many month ago
3. Last text message : so many week ago
4. Last song you listened to : japanese song
5. Last time you cried : going to

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice : never
7. Been cheated : yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it : kissed my sister, no regret
9. Lost someone specia l: someone that i lost, surely is not the special one
10. Been depressed : always
11. Been drunk and threw up : i cant be drunk

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:

12. BLACK
13. WHITE
14. GREY

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU (2009)

15. Made a new friend : net friend a lot
16. Fallen out of love : ya
17. Laughed until you cried : gaki no tsukai tv show does that
18. Met someone who changed you : yea
19. Found out who your true friends were : so great
20. Found out someone was talking about you : they say i am useless
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list : i will, please wait
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life : 0.1% of it
23. How many kids do you want to have : this year too late already
24. Do you have any pets : never
25. Do you want to change your name : ELRIC KAYSER
26. What did you do for your last birthday : not yet
27. What time did you wake up today : 12pm
28. What were you doing at midnight last night : online until 4am
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for : rich
30. Last time you saw your Mother : now
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life : stronger in mental
32. What are you listening to right now : TV
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom : no
34. What's getting on your nerves right now : gathering
35. Most visited webpage : http://www.facebook.com/
36. Whats your real name : HOO YIK YANG
37. Nicknames : shh..xiao yang for chinese, eri in english
38. Relationship Status : alone
39. Zodiac sign : sagittarius
40. Male or female : 50/50
41. Elementary? : sktk
42. Middle School? : smkkb
43. High school/college? : pipala
44. Hair colour : orange
45. Long or short : tall
46. Height : 175+ CM
47. Do you have a crush on someone? : no
48: What do you like about yourself? : nothing
49. Piercings : tongue
50. Tattoos : on neck, a snake
51. Righty or lefty : right handed

FIRSTS:

52. First surgery : whoa, no
53. First piercing : np
54. First best friend : no
55. First sport you joined : high jumping
56. First vacation : no
58. First pair of trainers : no

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating : no
60. Drinking : no
61. I'm about to : T^T
62. Listening to : TV
63. Waiting on : sleep

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids? : 3
65. Get Married? : 1
66. Career? : yea

WHICH IS BETTER:

67. Lips or eyes : eye
68. Hugs or kisses : hug
69. Shorter or taller : shorter
70. Older or Younger : older
71. Romantic or spontaneous : spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms : stomach
73. Sensitive or loud : loud
74. Hook-up or relationship : relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitan : trouble maker's

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger : other people de baby
77. Drank hard liquor : beer? yea
78. Lost glasses/contacts : not yet wear
79. Sex on first date : not yet
80. Broken someone's heart : yea
82. Been arrested : almost
83. Turned someone down : dont know
84. Cried when someone died : not yet
85. Fallen for a friend? : yea

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself : no
87. Miracles : not on me
88. Love at first sight : not on me
89. Heaven : not me
90. Santa Claus : i am sata cows
91. Kiss on the first date : not on me
92. Angels : how i hope

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time : no
95. Did you sing today? : everyday
96. Ever cheated on somebody? : yea
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? : now
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? : now can already
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? : yea
100. Posting this as 100 truths? : 100% not true

03-06-2009

A complicated life with a complicated mood and feeling. I think i am going for the gathering for next week. Actually i really hope that meet someone at the gathering, i am a bit scare of showing myself too but i want to go no matter what. I don't know what will happen when i attend the gathering, can i really enjoy well and forget everything? I hope i can forget everything and enjoy the gathering. Short post for today.

The flowers are set alight
Sparkling, dancing, releasing a blue dream

Two petals from the fireworks of dreams fall quietly in the sky
Did you, who went away to the other side, see it too? It's the same light

And
Even if the two are apart, I believe that they'll come together again someday
I'm singing to you, singing of this love that tears my heart apart, can you hear my voice?

It's fireworks, bursting in an instant

Bloom proudly, way up high
Sparkling, dancing, releasing a blue dream
The love that protects us rings out in earnest
At least it will be strong until the end
The flowers are set alight

All kinds of words scattered abot mischievously
And the confusion that rooted me to the spot quietly disappeared, can you see

Tomorrow?

It's fireworks, bursting in an instant

I grasp the sparkling, dancing flowers of dreams
As they rain down into my hands
Let my love ring out to you like I wish it to
If it's going to be over, at least let it be strong
The flowers are set alight

It's fireworks, bursting in an instant

Sparkle, dance, send up a blue dream
Someday we'll meet
You, me, and the love that joins us
We'll be strong together, forever

Bloom proudly, way up high
Sparkling, dancing, releasing a blue dream
The love that protects us rings out in earnest
At least it will be strong until the end
The flowers are set alight

01-06-2009 y!am

June 13 y!am member is having a gathering at time square, i am still thinking, should i go? can i go? am i free to go? i don't have any outing just like that big before. i don't have any nice clothe to go, honestly, i don't even have a shoes.. how shame is it, i got make some imagination of myself when i am at there, of course it can be very fun if i can get use to their environment, i can be type that is very active and joke a lot in real life. how many personality in my heart, it is countless and no one will know, i can be very silent and moody, i can be joker or i can be talkative. i hope i can go who the gathering, i scare that i cant get use to those gathering mood, i scare they will play true or dare with me, haha, impossible~ i dont say anything about that game then no one will know.

i already feel a bit frustated about something, i know i am not qualified to feel that and this is what i should deserve, i dont mind or care about it because this is what i must have and feel, so i must accpet the fate and true of it. there are something that i am weird about, i feel like those y!ammers got a bit fishy on something, they seen like knowing something about me but i didnt really spread anything. i dont think there are people that know about it but how come? they read my blog? i dont think so, they will laugh at my post if they does. i am wondering and weird. elric, dont down about it.

ending post
aftering girl dont seen to be difficult for me LOL haha, i dont talk sweet stuff because i dont know how to lie.. haha, got few girl got chance, i found another 1988 and she gived me her number, i didnt ask..

i dont really feel like aftering them

shh

31-05-2009

Current time 2:30 AM just finish chatting with kathy, a new friend. At first i thought that i can ignore and forget it, don't know why when kathy remind me of something of it, suddenly i feel *miss* i don't know whats wrong with it, i don't know what's happen, i don't want to ask, and i don't want to know. I wouldn't force anyone. Until now, i am still telling myself, are you crazy? Do you know what are you thinking now? Just forget it elric, try your best, let it be and stop lying yourself. I want to hold my fish night and punch hardly to fall now! Elric! Complicated. Short post.. I don't want to write much.

29-05-2009

Current time 2:40 AM just finish drinking tea with my friend, main topic is about the way of helping me, they are so great, luckily i still have at least few of those friend or i really will be dead. Before i start my conversation with friend, Thomas drive me out to a car wash at kepong bhp, free car wash by machine, quite fun and nice, he get scolded by those guy because of slow. Simple cleaning at outside, simple cleaning inside, i still can see a bit dust, so what? It is free, still need to complain a lot? His car, he got two car, i name it grey and orange, orange is his main car, the drive out grey one. His grey car is damn sucking dirty and shit, i don't think a simple washing will clean off those thick dust. So dirty. Our conversation is so damn long just now, so many hours of my story. What am a scarying now is my money, please don't finish before i get a new job, i still need money for engaging my job at outside, search and find it. My friend suggested and commented me a lots of job, worth and nice to think. Genting card shuffler, need to have skill and more, taxi driver is really not a bad job, monthly and daily earn quite lots, the important is must hard working, what's more, lorry spare part, learning and work those job, private car driver, LOL stupid. They suggested me damn lots and they are trying their best to help me. I don't put my hope on parent and i don't need their support, i have enough of their kindness and goodness, they are only a normal parent that support me a house and food. Not really don't give support, example a simple jia you also don't have, no offences but they are really, A unique parent. All people will laugh and shame on them. By the way, today i found that Estelle, a friend in my facebook, reading my blog post no facebook note :p it is a bit itchy and shy when she read my blog post, she will know a lots about me, even one of my friend that is free to online also don't care a damn on my blog link. Estelle, work hard and don't be lazy, jia you :) i am a bit tired right now because it is not early now.. Last word. Elric, it is very obvious already, give up and do your best in life, it will not be easy, so i have try my best.

28-05-2009

Current time 4:00 AM going to sleep after writing this post.. Today, my day is a bit good. I want to fix my window life messenger so much, the problem now is i can't remove the program. I can't install a new one without removing it, software and program things, it is very complicated and hard. I went out to drink tea with thomas, mark, andy and me at 8:30 PM just now or yesterday. Talk quite much and a lot, wasted a chance of job because mark can't contact me when he need me! It is damn stupid, i am going to change to maxis if digi continue disappointing me. I am a bit not sure about what mark work does, need to check him out and confirm it if got chance. A remote car and bring away a human life, believe it or not? I believe in future, remote control model will be a type of weapon for killing. I am quite proud me my friend because they have a very cool and enjoyable life, unlike me, what can i do is blame my parent because of, they are hopeless and don't know what is good for me? I don't trust any living human in earth, i don't even trust myself. Don't care and whatever la. Just now i have a very long counter strike match with my friend, they are very pro and i really can't beat them down, what i need is more training, i can't get use to cc computer, if i use my own house computer, surely no problem. Actually we are planning to watch football till morning, they are gambling so i am not joining them. Their club life is making me dream of it, damn syok but not suitable for me yet. I don't want to face my friend with a moody emo face and style, i laugh and talk + joke with then although i don't really feel fine and well. I already awake, i don't want to dream anymore. I think i should get some sleep and stop bullshitting rubbish. Good night. Keep my problem in heart and stuck it off .

27-05-2009

Current time 3:25 AM i am sleeping late again. Actually i already start feeling weird since yesterday till now but i know everything will be fine. Word popped up on my mind is "let it be" it is no use if i think so much. My body temperature is damn high now, sleeping at very late time.

I can't see anything, it is so dark and silent, i can't see my hand, i can't hear my voice. No matter how hard i try to scream, there are no sound out from my mouth. I try to clap my hand, i can't listen to anything. Everywhere i look and see, it is full of darkness, i try to run, but i still can get out from this place. Where am i? I feel so lonely and empty, why am i here? My memory is slowly getting weaker, forgetting part by part. I start to ask myself, who am i? How long i have been walking in this world that full of darkness. I feel like, i rather die than being suffered this way. What is my purpose of living, i can't remember at all. I feel so tired of living, my breathing is slowly get weaken, i already don't want to survive, please stop suffering me.

I can choose the ending with, i feel like someone grabbing my hand but, i have no idea on who. I am so sleepy now, good night.

26-05-2009 let it be

From the very Beginning, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......

The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.

During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....

The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.

When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

25-05-2009 happy birthday to RAVEN LEE XIAO HUI

happy birthday to RAVEN LEE XIAO HUI

today will be the most special day to RAVEN, [age 18 liao], i made this blog post at very early time and make some edit and add

i added this song is for you, not easy to get this song because title is in Chinese
nothing much to say :D usually chat and sms also say liao
i remember what you tell me on what you want at age 18 :D your wish and dream

RAVEN HAPPY BIRTHDAY

CUTE!!!!!!!!!!

Gift of my friendship....

I give to you a gift of my friendship,
A piece of my heart and soul,
A shoulder to cry on when life makes you sad
Laughter for your silly jokes.

An ear to listen to your concerns,
Eyes to see the beauty of your soul,
Advice when you are at a fork in the road,
And a smile to brighten your day.

All this I give you and more
Because you are my friend.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR FRIEND

24-05-2009

Current time 1:50 AM on bed now. I am doing some music video organizing and download just now so i am sleeping late. I am chatting with ron, joey and raven too, sorry to you all because me leaving so early.. I need to control myself from sleeping late so i have to sleep early. I make joey angry already!! So what? She is only a little girl in my eye, i will comfort her back and will not disturb her anymore. In chatting, we will never think about ages or anything. When we chat, we will either feel something not right, for some people, they will think it is equal but actually it is not. From my experience of chatting, i have chat with quite lots of people, i have slowly when into those people and know that it is not equal. Last year, i meet a standard six kid, he chat with me quite well but he is standard six, attitude and style, how to say, he is also a kid, i can feel by his chatting. Just share some chatting experience and never try to equal someone of chatting, actually it is different. I am wondering, did meadow went to the gathering today? I will feel VERY left out if she didn't tell me that she is going!! I wanted to go so much but no transport.. It is not impossible if i want to go. A very short post, good night and sweet dream to all my friends and reader if i have some :)