03-07-2009 myself and my dream

this morning i dream of my lao po, told you that i miss her so much and wanted to see her right, after wake up, i feel so down and sad because the dream have end :( but never mind, i know slowly later i will have ability on see her EVERY WEEK. so what dream i have this morning? sorry, don't really remember but i will tell it by parts

• someone took my phone away to snap photo then when my lao po call me, she say she want to see me right now and quick, at the time i am on genting with parent so it is impossible for me to appear in front of her so i promise her that we will meet after i am back.
• i am walking in a very fresh place in genting mean someplace that not exist, thinking back the first time we meet and slowly went back too the place we have go.
• i really cant think a lot, although the dream said that i am on genting but it is very complicated because i know i got see my lao po in dream.

my body, there are something wrong, not going to reveal or tell everyone, maybe i am weak or thin, thats why this thing happen to me.. i feel like there are a pressure from lung to my heart when i stretch my body, i mean i cant stretch my body because i will feel a pressure from my ribs to heart. my whole body just like damage, including my brain. "will i die if i stretch my lung even if i feel cant breath and so suffer + pain" i dont know, i just cant stretch my body already.

• my heart feel a bit pressure from my lung and ribs when i stretch or move my body
• both of my arm, used over strength, muscle is hurt and injured, from the pain i feel, i will be fine on next month
• my leg, feeling more and more pain and tired because of standing, maybe i should train more so that i leg can be strong, i need the leg energy for some use on something
• breakfast, chocolate oat drink, drink water, eat and drink nothing until 12.30PM then drink water lunch, rice or anything then eat and drink nothing to 7PM then only dinner, the time when i am in home, i need to drink a lot water and eat a lot
• i sleep 12am+ from july1 already, when can sleep early after a call with lao po ne, my sleep will without worry and sweet.

today my father not free to fetch me so i must go out super early for taxi, scare that i can go to work on time, need to spend money on third day already, don't know will my father really start lazy and don't want to fetch me then he will ask me to spent almost RM10+ a day for taxi and food. i want to work and, learn a lots thing and raise my salary quick!! this my the way of my living now, live hard to get something!! no matter how exhausted i get, i don't mind, i can risk my life on it!! of course i will only take a risk, i will not sacrifice, maybe i will, no i cant, there are someone important for me to be take care. love her so much >_< Finally, i can control the machine at last, just not enough skillfull and a bit dumb because of not enough sleep and tired, i miss my lao po so damn much till i can dream of her last night. The learning and controlling is okay, need to absorb slowly and quickly master it, this is what i want, must master the machine. My whole body is aching including some inner organs. Lunch, a dumplings and few piece of cake, i will be hungry very quick, save as much as i can but try not to effect my health. Don't know why everyday i need to disturb people i only feel happy, just some simple disturb that can make people angry and got smoke come out from head. I don't mean to disturb, just wanted to make myself release some feeling of numb on brain. Everyday on lunch time, i will have extra more than half hour times, i am thinking of converting some video to phone and watch. I am downloading masked rider kabuto recently, got time to download, no time so watch so i will try to save it too phone and watch. Masked rider kabuto is a very nice series with handsome japanese guy that look cool. How i hope i got a friend like him, i don't mean my other friends don't look good, LOL. "ROAR" my friend didn't call me out for a long time already, i want to go to cheras with then but i got work now. I am thinking, and wanted to plan, is there anyway for me to be with lao po whole day till night, either staying go home, out for a vacation or to a resort in someplace.. This coming saturday and sunday, lets have a plan then, midvalley will be the easiest for me. after my lunch, everything goes fine, learn slowly absorb slowly but must master everything quick, i feel so damn stress, a lots of pressure, i scare i will make mistake, i scare i cant master the machine. today after work, i mean why this three day after work i call my lao po also cant get through.. i will call everyday. tonight i MUST sleep early. show you the machine that i control in my working place

 

"this weekend de outing plan le ma? i want to see you so much o " i don't know where to go or should go yet, out for a movies, or how leh. i don't have car so it is a bit hard and cant go much place, my father say he will get me a car quick, hopefully by this year, i already cant stand of CANT see lao po, work hard a bit then i will get car quick, my father only do some simple support. jia you!! the dream i got last night really making me T^T when i wake up, i can feel that my soul is away from my body.. don't know where it wonder already.. "ARGH" i should plan all those outing right, darn.. 

02-07-2009 second day~

Same like always, i am going to wake up everyday on 7am for the rest of my working day including sunday. Didn't eat anything for breakfast, drink some chocolate oat drinks. Now i noticed that i really don't have anythings to wear even for work or outing. I never went out on purpose for buying something for myself to wear. I don't go to shopping or buy anythings. When i am going to change my shirt for work, i really feel so angry to myself, darn, i can't find anything to wear, only a grandfather shirt with collar available. How am i going to continue this. My bag too, i am wondering, when am i going to change.. I reach my working place early again. My father fetch me here early. Tomorrow i am going to come myself with taxi. Today learning is okay, more quicker but still need time. Hope that i don't do any mistake on it then everythings will be fine. Every half hours on lunch there will be a short a short guy conferences that talk about anythings other than work. It is a bit boring on time after lunch because i don't have interest on their topic. How should a guy be, wild or gentle. Night life, alcohol, girl and low percentage type of drugs. This is a life that what youngster should have? I can't think of any others life things for relax other than some simple outing. I am just a bit curious on those life, not interested on joining. What should i think and do now is, learn and mastery those machine quick, save more money to myself and for myself. I want to become machine leader, something like nothing do to anymore, just teach and guide. after my lunch time, after gaining some weight from lunch, i feel so tired of standing, my leg just like want to break or something.. i feel so pity and poor because they are not teaching me in proper way.. things that i learn, all by common sense and memory.. today at last i can start to move a machine slowly by guide, still got a lots too learn, there are something that i am so scare of "can i mastery a machine and become a leader quick so that i can (sit don't, don't need to do anything? it will be a long time if i cant mastery every skill of it quick. my purpose of working is i want to mastery every single machine and know everything at there. i don't mind of doing nothing after i mastery everything but i am really scare of i cant learn anything because it is really damn hard to memorize, not easy at all but from what i know, they can guarantee me, i can mastery a machine by this saturday.. hope la.. "ROAR" i am going to call my lao po everyday after my work time and time before sleep, i don't care anything now, just want to hear her voice more, scare that i will forget her voice because of hearing those machine sound. her sound will always be in my heart though that i can get to call her. how i hope that i can have OT with those staff, i don't mind of working until 9AM if OT, what i want is experience and salary. i will try to eat more if possible, i am telling every single one of human that living on earth, i am going to try a hard way of gaining my weight. don't want to look thin and weak, want to grow big a bit then only will suit my lao po de ma, right, i don't care any genetic things, i am going to try a hard say, eat none stop.

after working, i will eat less and drink less water, i hope that it will not effect my health a lot. i cant call lao po tonight, although it is a bit :( but never mind lo, got chat a bit with her, i already didn't chat or talk with her for a long time, i think few day only but i already feel that it is very long time already. i asked her for a outing this weekend, i miss her so much and hope that i can see her, how i hope that i can chat online with her using webcam.. it will be very nice, i will buy two if i see some cheap cams. i already try chat using webcam, it is damn stupid and funny, feel so weird.. i hope i can chat with her using webcam, it will be soon and quick. "if saturday or sunday free then we go out le wor, any problem ma lao po, i want to see you so much, what about you, got miss me" LOL~ good night and sweet dream, muacks

01-07-2009 my first day working life

i am back to my blog life, today i wake up at 7am, i will be waking up on 7am everyday from now. i feel so sleepy and a bit cant awake because i sleep very late last night.. around 12am if i am not wrong. last night before sleep, carrien give me a miss call on phone so i call her back and have some talk, miss her so much. this morning i went to my working place very early because my father is not free on the time at 9am so i must go early, when i reach there, i get a bit confuse and unsure because all door and gate are locked, it is already 8.30am but still haven't open any gate yet, my company start working hours on 9am but i am the only one that reach first. i walk around the building and more just to recognize the location and area of my working place. i didn't take any breakfast this morning but i got drink something of course, chocolate flavor oat drinks, it is very good but a bit too sweet for me, i will stomachache if i didn't drink well at morning. i got a bit don't like the ways of learning today, much of the people there don't know how to teach, they just ask me to see and learn, it is a bit hard because what i do is see, i don't even know what to ask if i don' t know. they should be teacher me step by step, not by asking me to see.. actually i can mastery a machine in two day if they teach me but they don't. whatever, i got salary even if i sit down and do nothing, just see. i really hope that i can learn to control a machine quick, mastery this machine and let me to by my own. i want to learn all the machine there, i really hope and wanted to do that, i don't think it is impossible, it is the only way for me to be success. today, i just learn a bits of thing, don't even really know something but better than nothing. it is a bit hard to communicate with them because all also "bo tak ceh" (didn't study) it is okay, i will not be lazy for the work, i will stick at the company, stick at the machine and learn till i mastery everything. a lots of people tell me, it is not easy to learn at first but slowly will get use to it, AT first, it is really hard to learn a damn shit things, they say i can master it on a week or something, i hope la.. the way they teach is really making me confuse. lunch time, my mother buy me nasi lemak at morning for me, quite full but not enough, i want to talk to carrien so much on lunch time but i think she is not free. i take 15minute for lunch, 45minute for rest and do nothing.. no one here accept me.. so sien.. that's why i say i want to talk with carrien. after lunch, then continue learning my things slowly by watching, thats all i can do. i stand more than sit, leg is a bit tired too.. some people there got OT, a newbies like me no OT till i know how to control a machine then only got OT~ after work.. i straight away call my lao po, she ask me to call her after work but no one pick up, never mind then, i will make a call to her before sleep <3

when is our last time meeting each other, it is on Sunday, last month, last two week. don't know why this few day i feel so.. MISS YOU so much, i can even see you in my dream, can count as every night if you believe it, it is something like a image of you, although that we don't meet each other that much but i always hope that we can have more time together. i got a lots of thing want to tell and ask and share and show and say and do. this month i have to save a lot, i think i cant spend a lot for this month. if this month i am not able to go out with you, i will want to go out with you on next month, we will go to a place for a day of something and leave out a unforgettable memories, T^T useless guy say this thing. whatever~ must happy always. elric love you

The 100 Most Important Things To Know About Your Character

The 100 Most Important Things To Know About Your Character

Part 1: The Basics

1. What is your full name?
HOO YIK YANG

2. Where and when were you born?
MALAYSIA, KUALA LUMPUR

3. Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)
HOO POH KEONG, TAXI DRIVER, SO HOT HEAD, MY FATHER

4. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?
I GOT TWO SIBLING, THEY ARE LIKE MONKEY

5. Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.
I LIVE IN MALAYSIA, KUALA LUMPUR, KEPONG WITH MY PARENT, IT IS A VERY NICE PLACE, LIVE WITH MY FAMILY, FATHER, MOTHER, ME, BROTHER AND SISTER

6. What is your occupation?
A TECHNICIAN

7. Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.
I AM 175CM, 45KG, HAIR COLOR ORANGE, EYE COLOR BROWN, A LAME STYLE OF DRESS, NO TATTOSS, NO SCARS OR ANY DISTINGUISHING MARKS

8. To which social class do you belong?
I AM NOT IN CLASS ANYMORE

9. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?
I AM A STRONG GUY

10. Are you right- or left-handed?
I AM RIGHT HANDED

11. What does your voice sound like?
DUCK

12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?
WHAT THE F*CK

13. What do you have in your pockets?
MONEY AND IC, MAYBE THERE ARE MORE STUFF

14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?
I LIKE TO STARE AT PEOPLE AND SMILE, LOL

Part 2: Growing Up

15. How would you describe your childhood in general?
VERY BITTER

16. What is your earliest memory?
IN SENTUL TIME

17. How much schooling have you had?
TWO YEARS KINDERGARTEN, SIX YEARS PRIMARY SCHOOL, FIVE YEARS SECONDARY SCHOOL

18. Did you enjoy school?
IT IS GREAT, MORE ON PLAYING WITH FRIEND

19. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?
I AM USELESS, I DONT LEARN ANYTHING, DONT HAVE ANY TALENT AND ABILITY'S

20. While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.
I AM NOT THAT GOOD AND FAMOUS

21. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?
HUH? QUARREL MORE THAN SITTING QUIETLY FOR DINNER

22. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
A HERO THAT CAN SAVE THE WORLD BUT THE WORLD IS TOO PEACE, I HOPE THAT I CAN HAVE A SUCCESSFUL LIFE

23. As a child, what were your favorite activities?
SPORT WILL BE GREAT

24. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?
A VERY RUDE MANNERS OF PERSONALITY

25. As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?
I AM THE MOST POPULAR DURING SCHOOL TIME BECAUSE I AM SPECIAL

26. When and with whom was your first kiss?
DIDN'T KISS ANYONE BEFORE

27. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?
I AM STILL A VIRGIN

28. If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.
LAST NIGHT, I GET BITE BY A WEIRD UNIQUE AND SPECIAL KIND OF BAT, THE NEXT DAY WHEN I WAKE UP, I FEEL THAT I GOT A VERY SHARP TEETH, FEEL VERY THIRSTY TOO..

Part 3: Past Influences

29. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?
STILL NOT YET HAVE THOSE EVENT YET

30. Who has had the most influence on you?
NO ONE BUT MYSELF

31. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
A SUCCESSFUL LIFE WITH A HAPPY FAMILY

32. What is your greatest regret?
NO, DONT HAVE

33. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?
KILL LIVING THINGS

34. Do you have a criminal record of any kind?
NEVER, I AM A GOOD GUY

35. When was the time you were the most frightened?
CANT REMEMBER, I THINK NO..

36. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?
NOTHING IS EMBARRASSING

37. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?
I LIKE THE WAY OF MY LIFE NOW

38. What is your best memory?
MY FIRST DATE

39. What is your worst memory?
STANDARD ONE LIFE

Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions

40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?
OPTIMISTIC OF COURSE

41. What is your greatest fear?
NONE EXISTING THINGS

42. What are your religious views?
NO COMMENT

43. What are your political views?
NO COMMENT

44. What are your views on sex?
IT IS.. I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN LOL

45. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?
REVENGE

46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?
OPERATE A DEAD LIVING BODY AFTER KILLING IT

47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?
YES I AM

48. What do you believe makes a successful life?
WORD HARD, TRY THE BEST

49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?
I HIDE A LOTS OF THING ABOUT MYSELF, WHO KNOW THE REAL ME?

50. Do you have any biases or prejudices?
NO

51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?
SINGING OR DANCING, I AM SHY

52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?
I WILL DIE FOR LOVE

Part 5: Relationships With Others

53. In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?
I TREAT EVERYONE GOOD

54. Who is the most important person in your life, and why?
CARRIEN, BECAUSE SHE IS MY EVERYTHING

55. Who is the person you respect the most, and why?
LETS SEE, SORRY, DONT HAVE ONE

56. Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.
ALL PEOPLE THAT I KNOW ONCE, IS MY FRIEND, I DONT HAVE ANY BEST FRIEND, FRIEND I GOT, MOST OF IT FORGET ABOUT ME.

57. Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.
NO

58. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.
I FEEL SWEET

59. What do you look for in a potential lover?
FEELING

60. How close are you to your family?
NOT VERY

61. Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?
DIDNT THINK OF IT YET

62. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?
A ZOMBIE, NO ONE WILL HELP IF I NEED THEM

63. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?
NO, BECAUSE I DONT KNOW WHY

64. If you died or went missing, who would miss you?
MY LOVELY CARRIEN

65. Who is the person you despise the most, and why?
NO

66. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?
I DONT LIKE ARGUE, I WILL KEEP QUIET

67. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?
YES I AM

68. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?
YES BECAUSE I CAN MEET MORE PEOPLE AND GET MORE SOCIAL

69. Do you care what others think of you?
YES

Part 6: Likes And Dislikes

70. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?
ONLINE OR WATCH ANIME

71. What is your most treasured possession?
ANIME

72. What is your favorite color?
BLACK

73. What is your favorite food?
ANYTHING THAT TASTE GOOD TO ME

74. What, if anything, do you like to read?
I LIKE TO READ BUT I DONT LIKE TO USE TIME TO READ

75. What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?
ONLINE

76. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?
NO, I AM A GOOD MAN

77. How do you spend a typical Saturday night?
A DATE TILL LATE AT NIGHT IF POSSIBLE

78. What makes you laugh?
A LOTS OF THINGS

79. What, if anything, shocks or offends you?
I WILL FEEL MOODY OR CRY

80. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?
I WILL TRY MY BEST TO SLEEP

81. How do you deal with stress?
RELAX

82. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?
I LIKE PLANNING

83. What are your pet peeves?
DONT FEED

Part 7: Self Images And Etc.

84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?
NOTHING

85. What is your greatest strength as a person?
DONT KNOW

86. What is your greatest weakness?
NOTHING

87. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
CHANGE A BIT FATTER

88. Are you generally introverted or extroverted?
I AM OBVIOUSLY A EXTROVERTED

89. Are you generally organized or messy?
MESSY~

90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.
LAZY TO NAME THREE THINGS~

91. Do you like yourself?
NO

92. What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons...)
IT IS CHALLENGING

93. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?
BECOME SUCCESS AND HAVE A HAPPY FAMILY OF MY OWN

94. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
I DONT WANT TO THINK YET

95. If you could choose, how would you want to die?
SLEEP UNTIL DIE AT OLD AGE

96. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.
TOGETHER WITH MY LOVE ONE TOGETHER WITH MY LOVE ONE TOGETHER WITH MY LOVE ONE
TILL THE LAST MINUTE

97. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?
MY LIVING

98. What three words best describe your personality?
COWARD STUPID DUMB

99. What three words would others probably use to describe you?
COWARD STUPID DUMB

100. If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice...)
ANYTHING LA, WASTE A LOT TIME ON THIS 100 QUESTION ALREADY

24-06-2009

I am stupid or what? Actually I feel something not right from the day I stop writing my blog. There are something that I want to tell, explain or make it clear. This blog, mainly wrote for some explanation for my relationship matters. Lets see, there are a guy name TKY from Singapore, I don’t think I will reveal his real name anywhere. He scare his identity revealed then he will be what? I don’t know, I don’t like putting a mask on face, mean hiding own identity by a nickname or something. So what about him? There are something that I can be explain about him, it is really complicated. From the day I know him, it is already one year I guess, I know him in a game server, I use to be a abnormal guy in chat, something like, like to make fun and more. Some single will always hope to be in relationship but some don’t, last time, I give TKY a very bad personality I guess, I mean last time. Why cant his thinking to me update a bit? Mean I am not the old me already, I have change. I don’t know when will be get insane spreading thing to spoil my image again, luckily I know that he wont read my post so don’t need to send him any message from this post. He tease a lot on facebook and chat, telling people that I am something like playboy and something, there are something that I always want to ask, the first thing, never mind, why don’t you show me the proof that I got a lot msn girl contact, or show how popular am I among girl in facebook? Show me or count me, how many girl that I have add in every place. Just give me a proof on what I say and don’t simply tease a people, I will start to tease you back very badly. Almost forget, I didn’t explain something yet, i don’t think I want to explain it, it is my pass, no use to say a lot. It is something like a blank post, whatever. Now I love a girl so much, today I dreamed her, I already forget how is the dream but the unforgettable part, it is the last scene, I hugged her very tight till I wake up. She is Carrien, my lou po zai.

Nothing much to comment or write, I am very happy with my life now, tomorrow I am going to watch movie with my friend.. I want my first time to cinema is with my love on but it is okay, Carrien will still have the chance to be my first girl on cinema. Hope that my outing for tomorrow will be fun.

13-06-2009

june10
finally we are out from the car, reached genting skyway cable car parking place, you know what have i see? Carrien is so short, shorter than me, almost a head of height. her parent dont seen to be short to me but she is very short, bring me some feeling of cute. at very first, we dont really talk a lot, i feel a bit like being dump or abandon. luckily i am going with her, Carrien family bring quite lots of thing to genting. i will slowly get more confidence to myself when i am with her more, change braver and more man. at the cable car, on the way up to genting, talk a bit with Carrien. actually we are planning sit all together but there are still people that hop up. Carrien sister is very pretty and nice, giving us a free ticket for theme park, help us book a room too.. we wait her in cable car area there. actually i already see her sister before if i am not wrong, see in photo of course. Carrien showed me her chinese new year photo once and i remember it till now, thats why Carrien cousin sister look so familiar. we should thanking Carrien cousin sister a lot for the room booking and theme part ticket. it is indoor and outdoor ticket, not cheap too. after meeting Carrien sister, we walk our own to first world hotel lobby. almost lost because of dont know where. the time, on elevator down to lobby if i am not wrong, suddenly someone hold my hand, guess who, at that time i am a bit shock because it is my first time holding hand with a girl that i love. honestly last time i got hold and touch girl hand before, just normal touch and hold. try imagine and think, there are A LOT people in lobby and the number that we got, 368 by 152.. mean the current number is 152 and we get 368. auntie ask us to go and play first while waiting the room to be checkin. the time is afternoon if i am not wrong, before we go to play, we go for a walk at inside, slowly cut through and go in theme park, we play nothing at the time, there are too much people in the park, almost EVERY game is full and need to wait a long time to play. we just sit down and eat something, share a a box of fried rice and two stick of nugget. at that time, Carrien so bad, she know my appetite is not good and cant eat, she bite a bit the nugget and bait me to eat, haha, i finish it. from what i know about Carrien, she choose not to eat or eat less to diet, it will effect her health and actually we dont have to eat less to diet, what we need is control our food eating habit and time, it is the most healthiest way for me and dont need to be starving. she dont eat will make her cant eat a lot, she eat less will make her no appetite to eat, if eat a lot, she will vomit. i am quite pity about her, i dont mind if she dont diet and eat more. i really miss the moment when we are together, it is very great. later when it is almost time, we went out of theme park and have some walk. Carrien say she want to try the spiderman things at outside, it is so cool, i feel like flying, too bad that i cant see the front well or it will be great. Carrien is a lefty if i am not wrong, she like me to be on her left side more when holding hand. i cant write much of my memory here because it is too much, i only will write what i remember. lets see what i present her, a thick jacket that got feather, a pair of earing, a hair ribbon and.. i think thats all i guess. i will upload photo that i left out in here. my favourite moment, only short time, june11 other breakfast, on bed, i am the one that grab her hand first ;) thats all, all my photo, facebook + blog
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30185870&l=1bfb468a61&id=1487357364
this is a photo that we snap on first day at indoor.. floating flying ship, i dont really know how to express on photo ;p
my emotion dont really look like that, just stunned by capturing
my eye so small and emo~
another emo eye
her brother pick this sit and ask me to snap photo, so great (^_^)v
this is a nice shoot yo
genting view = hotel
stick closer next time ;)
although it is a dark image, quite nice
another view
she like to play tongue, lol
i ask her bother to snap photo too sudden le la
i am a good photo shooter



ah hao look other side already ar..
this photo is a great shot ;)


very nice tower




xD she put down her zip already
i like this photo

this apek, who is him?


x(
see uncle look so lonely

11-06-2009

june 10
i wake up at very early time for going out to genting, my planning is kepong ktm to kl centrel then from there to genting. this is what i want to do at very early time. i feel that myself is a bit lucky because i can get a taxi at early morning time to kepong ktm. the uncle tell me, go from other place will be quicker but i dont know how, what i plan is, kl centrel to genting there. actually i lost in kl centrel, dont know where to go.. a bird guided me, chirping me the direction and tell me what to do. i take quite long time in kl centrel, wondering around, think of how.. carrien asked me to sit bus to somewhere but luckily i haven't decide and confirm yet, a long with the chirp of bird, with carrien idea, i sit ktm to rawang from a very long way..
i snap this photo in train when i am on my way to klang, so sleepy and tired.. a bit boring too, carrien called me few time asking me how am i now.. i feel that she is a bit scare of meeting me but she have to meet me to confirm our love. at very first, i feel so stressing when i am about time to meet her, i scare i will dont like her but dont know why, my heart beat so fast, i feel so nervous. actually this is what we call, love in first sight. she dont really talk with me much when we meet and i am trying to stick her, her parent is quite funny and good too. we went to genting by the cable car, genting skyway.

make part two of this tomorrow, current time 11pm so sleepy

09-06-2009 fragile

don't ask me anything about this post if possible. don't know why will i have this kind of thinking, i feel that myself is a bit meaningless. not because of some matters of problem but it make me feel like i cant decide something by myself yet, until now i still need to pass the adult but actually in officially saying, age 18 can be call as adult. it make me feel a bit down and i got think to make a short term disappearance to all of my friend. i don't know when will i disappear or hide myself, it will be on anytime, no one will be able to make any contact with me till the day i appear. maybe i will not appear back to anyone in future or something. i feel so weak, it make me want to hide myself. do anyone feel that i want to leave? what i want is hide myself from light, store myself in darkness. i really feel so useless. i can feel very sad so easily, suddenly or any small thing.. it is a bit same when i am getting mad too, can be easy if my mood is not good. just a short post.

08-06-2009

Sorry dear, i can't promise you to sleep early now, i want to write this blog so i hope you can understand.

Current time 1:34 AM about my previous post, i realized something, Carrien didn't lied me anythings, why am i feeling sad is she didn't think to show me her look at very early time. So now i have accepted her late showing image of her. I am going to ask dear checkout some photo of mine at facebook so that she will confirm my look. I am poor, i don't have work, didn't study, i am dumb, i am stupid, i am quiet, i don't know how to talk, i am not handsome, i got a lots of pimple, i look so sleepy every time, i always not enough sleep, i am so thin and i am so tall, my hair look lame. Hope she don't mind. Going to end my post. Good night.

edit
a straight relationship to couple, we don't really friend yet, i hope that we can understand each other well till forever. i dont really have much confidence about this, i really scare you will mind the useless me plus i am a guy that will cry, i am so useless right. i will try my best to be a good boy friend, promise

08-06-2009

just now i went to jusco, actually i am think of buying a happy card from jusco or change my call plan to postpaid, i don't like to make call with worrying my calling credit. i feel so down after i forget this important things. actually today my mood is a bit not good, i feel a bit like crying too. this morning carrien show me some photo of her, she look very mature, really, i am not lying. i will love her no matter how she look like i dont mine, i feel like she want to lie me but i know, she will be honest with me, i will believe every word she tell me. honestly i cant accept what have she show me today, i dont mind how she look. i feel like she dont want to let me see or know how is her look till the day we meet. i know, at last she still let me see how is she look like but i really feel a bit dont like and uncomfortable. i will be crying if everyone is on bed now. carrien, i love you. i feel so unhappy and i dont know how to say or mean it. i am sorry. i dont mind how you look but i mine that you show me so late and didnt think of showing me before. i just feel a bit uncomfortable with this.

my parent, yesterday say okay, can fetch me to carrien house, now my parent say, dont go and tell carrien now. i dont want and i want to go, i want to meet carrien. i am feeling so down about this, my parent never support me for everything that i have choosen, it is anything. they tell me a lots of reality stuff too, it is ancient story of love. my parent say i will be abandon and she would like me. my parent say what else if she dont look as same as photo. my parent tell me a lot of stuff and i didnt say anything and mute, i will argue with them if i say something. i am not a good guy, i hate my parent, i dislike my parent, i quarrel with them because i dont like them. they disagree me to go now, i will try my best to meet you, i know i am dumb, i know i am inexperience plus this is my first time on date and meet parent too, i will be very nervous, after all i am still a 18years old kid<

you have offend me, i know you dont mean it, i hope it wouldn't happen anymore, i am really feeling sad about this

07-06-2009 sunday <3

last night happen something that is very awful, i feel very sad about it and i feel like crying, i don't know why i feel so no confidences to this relationship, maybe it is my first time on relationship. at very late time, me, ron, joey and carrien is in a conversation in msn, our chat is very normal at first, ron and joey is chatting about novel and me, i just keep on interrupting ron and joey chat. ron and joey haven't know that actually i am in love with carrien and she is my girlfriend, when we are on the middle of the conversation, ron and joey suddenly feel weird and noticed that me and carrien is weird. ron and joey suddenly say i like raven before then i like another girl again when they know i like carrien.. i don't mean to hide anything of myself and pass, i wish to tell her all my things too but i just don't have the time yet. i feel so relief after she forgives me . this morning, she send me few photo of herself, it is some photo that she snapped on chinese new year time, she tell me that she is fat and look ugly, if i really love her, i will never mind on how is her look. honestly, she look very mature and adult to me, my mother say the feeling can be different if we meet up. what i want is a confirmation of my feeling to her. i feel so happy and very touches because there are a girl love me so much. i hope that our feeling is real and our relationship can last forever. i am now your boyfriend, i am your dear, i am your lao gong.

last night when carrien is angry with me, ron and joey got help me say something good and hope that me and carrien will be okay. they say i will cry if she don't forgive me, the true is really i will cry but it is too shy to tell that. when carrien is on a chat with joey, carrien tell me that joey like me or something.. i really don't know that, what i know is she hate me so much. i hope that she is okay. in text world, i am very stupid and like making fun or disturbing, sometime i might offend people too, i am so sorry about that to all.

my parent, when did they start to be that stubborn and hard to talk with.. i already forget when is it. my parent never understand me from kid time, they don't know why i cry, why i angry, why i can study well and more. they care me but they care on wrong way. in my child age, there are too much of misunderstanding things happen, i will not forget it, why own children thinking and feeling also don't understand, i really don't have any idea about this. until no and today, everything is still same. i tell my parent i got a girlfriend already, i want to go genting with her family on wednesday, they say why so fast meet her then why go genting with her parent. my parent say, i don't have anything, shoes or shirt, all don't have, including money, my parent say no money don't think to have any girl first.. haih.. i know they got their reason and got its right. from what i know, they never say something that's is good, i mean example on my side or support my thinking and way, they never do or think that.

carrien tell me that she want to read my blog, hehe.. hope my blog is okay..


edit post

i feel like actually you should be telling me early or showing me early, i feel a bit scare and unsure that we wouldn't get a long well, i never expect or think, how is my girlfriend in future plus i don't really mind if i like ;)

06-06-2009 <3

there are a girl call Carrien, i know her not more than a month of time, at first, we don't really know each other, normal short chat on facebook only. we slowly go into some long chat and exchange our phone number. me and her, it is something like fate that have been make out. i use to be a very shy boy, i don't dare to make call to unknown and more but i have called her in a very short time after she asked me. i feel so happy and warm when we are on phone, there are a type of feeling of "i don't want to lose you" actually i never expect that an relationship of couple can out that quick in a short time, honestly i love her so much now. last night, when i am on chat with her, i accidentally make offend with my word. afterward, i call her.. when we are on phone, i asked her "why will you love me" she say it is because of feel. she confessed me that she love me and she requested me to be her girlfriend, it is what guys normally do to girl. i feel so touching and have some short tears falling moment, i feel so happy. Carrien is the only girl that loved me so much, i will promise her to take care her well forever and wouldn't her upset with any matters. i am a guy that not really good in expressing my feeling and i am not very good on talking too, i don't know how to say much of those sweet things. i will never lie her and i will be honest to her. it is my first time, telling a girl on phone that i love her, she is my first girlfriend that i have, i love you so much, Carrien. she asked me a lots of question, it is something like testing me too.. i am a bit dumb and don't know what to answer but of course i got tell her, she like my answer. i will share some question that she asked, "you kissed with any girl before" of course no. she ask me, "do you mind that i take away your first kiss" of course i will answer, i don't mine, she is my girlfriend. she ask me "can i kiss you" after she ask me this, she say "what else if i don't want to kiss you" i tell her that i will kiss her, either in public or anywhere. we planned to go genting and stay one night, only our two, renting hotel to stay in same room. this is what she suggested and ask me, it is okay for me but i am worrying on something. although that i am a dumb guy, i watch a lots of drama, listen a lots of thing and know a lot, even anime got teach, it is too obvious. a couple, in one room, stay over night together, what will a couple do? HONESLTY i don't hope that we will happen anything, i am quite agree on having those after married. what am i worrying about is, i scare that she will *request for it, don't me when i say no, angry with me if i say no, beg me for it or try anything for it* i am really worrying about this when we are on genting. i want to be with her, i want to be together with her. by the way, i ask her out for gathering at time square, i hope she can go with me and have fun with me at there.. i she want to go.. going to end my post

Carrien, we will be together forever, i will make sure that you will be the world happiest girl, although that i know i am poor and i dont really have much ability for much things but i will do what i can and what i afford. i dont know whether will you understand my blog or will you read, what i want to tell you is, lao po i love you

post even

post edit
going to genting together is what we want, i think i am going to genting with her family this wednesday, i am so nervous

05-06-2009 CC is her nick

i am 1990, age don't even reach 19 yet. i am type of people that like girl that is older than me but of course it is not about maturity. i like girl that is older and have a very cute young heart, i found that that this type of girl is quite attractive for me. when did i start having this type of mind thinking? i don't really sure when. i know a girl name Carrien Chong, i know her in facebook, she born in year 1988 mean she is older than me at least two years. from what she tell me, she have a boyfriend before. she tell me that she already been single for more than a year and she is hoping to get new relationship. she don't mind of having a 1990 guy to be with her. for me, i wouldn't accept a quick relationship like straight to couple, i will slowly get to know her in real life and slowly from friend to closer relationship. i don't have experience at all, i am a bit worry about this relationship too. what scare about is, she will mine about me.. i think she got a bit like me ;p last night we have a very long phone call, my credit.. used RM20+ on CALL.. around RM23 for 1hours and 10minute something.. then next call is around .. forget.. call two time.. T^T credit is so damn pain but it is worth, count as an experience for me then.. i never been a call for that long with a girl ;p she is.. haha. last night when i make call with her, i feel so damn nervous.. when we are on the phone, honestly, her voice is so soft and not easy to listen and know what she talk, i will slowly get use to it if we are having a lots of call. she is a bit cute to me, telling me she is jealous and more, ask me who is estelle, why treat her so good, haha. promise not to do those anymore ;p last night conversation is very nice :) it is my first time talking with a girl for that long. last night conversation is so much and too much.. she help me find a work on newspaper, read and let me hear. she say she will help me ask her employer for a work too.. distance, she suggest me to live with her, LOL ;p whats more.

okay then, i am going to end my post now, i like her when she say she is jealous xD

04-06-2009 new blog

A brand new look for my blog, i don't think there are people will know or understand how difficult for a blog edit. I hope i can get more visitor for some comment about my blog template. It is really a very tough edit. Sometime i don't understand why people don't want their blog to have more stuff, is it because of complicated or you don't know how to set? Most of the reason i get is, why must i put or i want my blog to be silent or no comment. When i ask again, another reason will be made. Honestly it is not that complicated if you have a lots of stuff on blog, what we need is arrange. I feel quite satisfy with my current blog, i already made a very big edit from the original look to the current look of the blog. I don't expect any comment, saying that my blog is so nice, how you make or what. I just want to let everyone know i don't copy people blog layout to use, i just take the original one to edit. The blog that i am having is unique and no people will have it. Next, i am going to edit the color, i am wondering, what color should my blog be, red, blue, green or current color? To make my blog become more unique, i will edit the color.

I readed Shirley post at last, actually i already know what she going to write when i read the blog first few sentences. The possibility of them, being together, is very high, although the disagreement of Shirley parent is very tight but i don't think there are no hope for it. Shirley must be strong, don't give up, i don't believe that you wouldn't get something you want, the guy of course. For the gathering, i am going to attend no matter what will happen. I don't think she will visit my blog anymore, just make a wish and hope to her then.

I am feeling damn down, the feeling that i am having now is damn sad. My heart, crack like a class, trying my best to hold myself from yelling, hold my tears from falling.

To Ron, you are not reading this right, IF i bu suang you, i will tell the world i love you and we are gay, if you continue spoiling my image, i will gay you until you be guai. Ron, i love you.

Erica, haha, she is so cute, send me so many love, heart and kiss to me at facebook^^ thanks a lot. For estelle, sorry.. This few day i don't really have the mood to play pet society, promise you i will buy you a lots of gift when i am back to pet society.

x( i love my current blog so much! Good night, current time 5:10 AM june4

03-06-2009 facebook tag

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, copy and paste this note, erase my answers and enter your own, tag people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage : plain water
2. Last phone call : so many month ago
3. Last text message : so many week ago
4. Last song you listened to : japanese song
5. Last time you cried : going to

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice : never
7. Been cheated : yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it : kissed my sister, no regret
9. Lost someone specia l: someone that i lost, surely is not the special one
10. Been depressed : always
11. Been drunk and threw up : i cant be drunk

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:

12. BLACK
13. WHITE
14. GREY

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU (2009)

15. Made a new friend : net friend a lot
16. Fallen out of love : ya
17. Laughed until you cried : gaki no tsukai tv show does that
18. Met someone who changed you : yea
19. Found out who your true friends were : so great
20. Found out someone was talking about you : they say i am useless
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list : i will, please wait
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life : 0.1% of it
23. How many kids do you want to have : this year too late already
24. Do you have any pets : never
25. Do you want to change your name : ELRIC KAYSER
26. What did you do for your last birthday : not yet
27. What time did you wake up today : 12pm
28. What were you doing at midnight last night : online until 4am
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for : rich
30. Last time you saw your Mother : now
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life : stronger in mental
32. What are you listening to right now : TV
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom : no
34. What's getting on your nerves right now : gathering
35. Most visited webpage : http://www.facebook.com/
36. Whats your real name : HOO YIK YANG
37. Nicknames : shh..xiao yang for chinese, eri in english
38. Relationship Status : alone
39. Zodiac sign : sagittarius
40. Male or female : 50/50
41. Elementary? : sktk
42. Middle School? : smkkb
43. High school/college? : pipala
44. Hair colour : orange
45. Long or short : tall
46. Height : 175+ CM
47. Do you have a crush on someone? : no
48: What do you like about yourself? : nothing
49. Piercings : tongue
50. Tattoos : on neck, a snake
51. Righty or lefty : right handed

FIRSTS:

52. First surgery : whoa, no
53. First piercing : np
54. First best friend : no
55. First sport you joined : high jumping
56. First vacation : no
58. First pair of trainers : no

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating : no
60. Drinking : no
61. I'm about to : T^T
62. Listening to : TV
63. Waiting on : sleep

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids? : 3
65. Get Married? : 1
66. Career? : yea

WHICH IS BETTER:

67. Lips or eyes : eye
68. Hugs or kisses : hug
69. Shorter or taller : shorter
70. Older or Younger : older
71. Romantic or spontaneous : spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms : stomach
73. Sensitive or loud : loud
74. Hook-up or relationship : relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitan : trouble maker's

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger : other people de baby
77. Drank hard liquor : beer? yea
78. Lost glasses/contacts : not yet wear
79. Sex on first date : not yet
80. Broken someone's heart : yea
82. Been arrested : almost
83. Turned someone down : dont know
84. Cried when someone died : not yet
85. Fallen for a friend? : yea

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself : no
87. Miracles : not on me
88. Love at first sight : not on me
89. Heaven : not me
90. Santa Claus : i am sata cows
91. Kiss on the first date : not on me
92. Angels : how i hope

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time : no
95. Did you sing today? : everyday
96. Ever cheated on somebody? : yea
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? : now
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? : now can already
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? : yea
100. Posting this as 100 truths? : 100% not true

03-06-2009

A complicated life with a complicated mood and feeling. I think i am going for the gathering for next week. Actually i really hope that meet someone at the gathering, i am a bit scare of showing myself too but i want to go no matter what. I don't know what will happen when i attend the gathering, can i really enjoy well and forget everything? I hope i can forget everything and enjoy the gathering. Short post for today.

The flowers are set alight
Sparkling, dancing, releasing a blue dream

Two petals from the fireworks of dreams fall quietly in the sky
Did you, who went away to the other side, see it too? It's the same light

And
Even if the two are apart, I believe that they'll come together again someday
I'm singing to you, singing of this love that tears my heart apart, can you hear my voice?

It's fireworks, bursting in an instant

Bloom proudly, way up high
Sparkling, dancing, releasing a blue dream
The love that protects us rings out in earnest
At least it will be strong until the end
The flowers are set alight

All kinds of words scattered abot mischievously
And the confusion that rooted me to the spot quietly disappeared, can you see

Tomorrow?

It's fireworks, bursting in an instant

I grasp the sparkling, dancing flowers of dreams
As they rain down into my hands
Let my love ring out to you like I wish it to
If it's going to be over, at least let it be strong
The flowers are set alight

It's fireworks, bursting in an instant

Sparkle, dance, send up a blue dream
Someday we'll meet
You, me, and the love that joins us
We'll be strong together, forever

Bloom proudly, way up high
Sparkling, dancing, releasing a blue dream
The love that protects us rings out in earnest
At least it will be strong until the end
The flowers are set alight

01-06-2009 y!am

June 13 y!am member is having a gathering at time square, i am still thinking, should i go? can i go? am i free to go? i don't have any outing just like that big before. i don't have any nice clothe to go, honestly, i don't even have a shoes.. how shame is it, i got make some imagination of myself when i am at there, of course it can be very fun if i can get use to their environment, i can be type that is very active and joke a lot in real life. how many personality in my heart, it is countless and no one will know, i can be very silent and moody, i can be joker or i can be talkative. i hope i can go who the gathering, i scare that i cant get use to those gathering mood, i scare they will play true or dare with me, haha, impossible~ i dont say anything about that game then no one will know.

i already feel a bit frustated about something, i know i am not qualified to feel that and this is what i should deserve, i dont mind or care about it because this is what i must have and feel, so i must accpet the fate and true of it. there are something that i am weird about, i feel like those y!ammers got a bit fishy on something, they seen like knowing something about me but i didnt really spread anything. i dont think there are people that know about it but how come? they read my blog? i dont think so, they will laugh at my post if they does. i am wondering and weird. elric, dont down about it.

ending post
aftering girl dont seen to be difficult for me LOL haha, i dont talk sweet stuff because i dont know how to lie.. haha, got few girl got chance, i found another 1988 and she gived me her number, i didnt ask..

i dont really feel like aftering them

shh