01-05-2009 HOO POH KEONG aka DEREK << he create own english name that have been taken

my father
he born in year 1966, april21 is his birth date
he live in kampung place during his child age till he get married and born me
he is a very hard working guy, he start to work at age 13 or 14 because he cant study well
he work with my grandfather before too
my grandfather work as carpenter in a very big company, salary very high too
he work hard for motor and car
he already plan to buy house at very young age too.. i dont even dare to think about it
he marry my mother at year.. forget.. marry because of having me i guess
my parent dont have love and dont know what is love
their first child is me.. i got a lots of baby photo too.. too sad that i can scan it out
i am the first son in HOO's family
he is a very good father at very first.. he work very hard for family too
his attitude is so suck and i am very angry with him..
i want to stay away from him forever!!
his attitude is so worse!! done, end post.. lazy to write my problem

01-05-2009 labour day dream

try guess what have i dream today? it is a very super weird and stupid dream, need to blog it out quick or i will forget it >_< i am a weak in memorize things. last night sheep went to bed before twelve midnight, almost faint in front computer, too tired. meadow must be sleeping very late or early :/ watching movie and TV show. today must jia you!! jia you meadow!!

my dream for today start with going out and wondering, it is a bit blur too.. cannot see any meadow.. my dream is mainly wanted to have meadow in it but dont have. i am still thinking about my work :( i know i can forget my baby with time.. the dream is walk a lot, something like waiting the dream to start about something.. i went to cybercafe.. slowly i walked to a door and a pretty cybercafe cashier guided me to a dark room.. sorry, about the pretty cashier, she is just a pelakon tambahan, nothing to do with her. when i go in the dark room, there are another door behind the room.. when i open it, it is a link to my store ;) thanks to that guide from the cashier.. suddenly saw the boss and he is shock and happy seeing me return and it labour days too!! i am happy to see back all my baby!! when i went to office, i saw the driver, wuahahahaha!! the dream is a bit nice actually, linked from cyber. the pretty cashier i know her from last two year i guess, last time her face so many tou, now no more already. live very near only. stop her thing. dream end, waked up~

i want to make a super post that shows my baby!!

30-04-2009 last day

I am so happy today, half day more till my last day, i don't feel like snapping a lots of photo but i got a bit miss here. All the stock and book is my friend, i am the one that take care all of them, every scratch that they get i will feel sad, everytime when they need to been deliver, i will say bye to them in my heart. All the stock in store is like my child, i take a very good care of them. Today i have to say good bye and please take care, just call me if you need me and i will always be back to help. My favourite stock of all is books, i will miss them a lot and i will not forget them! They are my heart and soul, part of the important things in my life. As long as i know you are still here and safe, i will be fine. Bye to my baby..

Night post start here, the upper part is a part that i write on morning. Didn't really complete my writing at morning because i am busy with sms and work. My day end so simple today, feel like it haven't end yet. My boss offered me for part time on saturday, i don't want anyone to know that i am not going to study. So hard i make a big lied said that i am going to study, now i am not.

Meadow
We are not harmful to any creature
then why they hurt us?
instead of rain
they pour us bombs
from the helpless sky.
Do not forget my friends
under the grass,
Alexander the Great,
Adolf Hitler, Napoleon Bonapart
and so many heroes are quiet
and they are in a deep sleep.

30-04-2009

Today is my last day for working, i already tell meadow that i am going to countdown with her but my phone credit finish already. Going to reload on lunch time. Today my boss give me a lots of work to do, it is okay because it is what i like to do, hang is store, check stock. So now, last day, let's say something about my work and more. First day of work, sit in office and sms only.. So boring.. Sms with phoenix. Actually a very first, i thought that it will be a very tough job because of those account things, hard to understand but actually it is very simple. Account and those clerk work, i mean i do all the in this company. My boss is a bit regret for not raising my salary, no one will be as qualify as me that can do everything with low salary. I do so many pose of work with only thousand per month. Honestly, i don't believe all the boss will be same like my boss, maybe my boss is too old or something, normal people will never got this ability to stand him, of course i am no problem with him, i quit my job because of a very hard feeling that make me feel so useless. A lots of my friend like phoenix and meadow support me to quit this job because they know i am suffering from feeling useless. Meadow is the one that give me the most courage on resigning, treat you a cup of coffee okay? By the way, i have made a lots of nickname to friend that don't use to call, for me, i call myself as sheep. Things that i am doing now is a things that i do in first time. Checking chart board. I am wondering how is meadow now, want to sms her so much but i can't send out any sms, must dash to phone shop later. My blog post is a bit overload, write something that not suppose to write, say something that not suppose to say. Get crazy when a meadow turn silent. From tomorrow start, i will wake up late everyday, do you think meadow is free to chat with me from morning? Meadow need to work! Can't wait the end of today. I know i can't send out any sms but i am still clicking the send button ;p I will be dashing to phone shop and reload later. Didn't set any timeline for today post, a bit busy so lazy to write out those time. I want to go home and have lunch.

A post made in work time

29-04-2009 Believe

Unable to find any words, I instinctively reached out to touch your shoulder
And you, without saying anything, coldly broke free
Because of a trivial misunderstanding, our young love is giving way
I don't want to see such a sad face

Even though your dream may be dissolving, just don't abandon that smile
It's what keeps my own heart glowing

We swore one day to build the future with our own hands
At any cost, on this planet, no matter where on it you are
And now the two of us stand with pained eyes and glances diverted,
But I believe we'll be able to meet again

The starry sky we used to gaze up at together, where so much light streamed through
All the memories of that still won't fade away

If you really listen for it, you'll begin to hear that phrase
in the melody of the flute that was played

And behind the sky, in the tomorrow my heart depicts,
In that same place, I'll be right by your side once more
Surely we'll be together from now on, plunging ahead through these days
Because there could be a meaning to all of this after all

We swore one day to build the future with our own hands
At any cost, on this planet, no matter where on it you are
And behind the sky, in the tomorrow my heart depicts,
In that same place, I'll be right by your side once more
Now the two of us stand with pained eyes and glances diverted,
But I believe we'll be able to meet again

29-04-2009

actually i am still thinking about it till now, make me think of it everytime when i sms or online, message in bracket send by a friend in sms [Remember x n x who said that u dun really care about frens when u luv somebody? I can see that u r all into luv, even losing two frens at a time, u r still glad bcos ur heart is full wit luv 4 x, u dun bother anything~ u were like that too when u were into x.] am i really that kind of person or actually i am. Ignore my friend because of something, feel very enough if i got someone? So this is what you think to me. X must be the one telling you that i am ignoring everyone, i don't really ignore people, just chat less, the one that i ignore the most is him, none stop talking rubbish about me, every conversation contain a rubbish word. And another things [U dun get what i wrote...? ... x n i r disappearing :/ Last words 4 u is take care... Next time if u r into somebody, dun neglect ur frens too. Lead a gud life.] i feel like x is the one that cause effect on everythings. Next [No... It's not u hv no time to chat wit us... It's u dun chat wit us... U juz tell us about x... Like no topic between u n ur friends anymore... Just x... Can tell but not all the time. This is what neglect means. I say IF, if u failed to get her, ur friends can b ur support n console... But u lost frens when u were after her, n if u failed, nothing left.] is this what Ron tell you or say to you? or actually i am really having problem Ron already dislike me since from x if i am not wrong, keep only discribing the bad me, example always flirt with girl, always chat with girl, always this and that. He should beware on what his finger type before what he think, i ignore him, i got my reason, i don't really ignore other or say other things to other, did i? Joey don't know about it. Don't want to say a lot, Ron, you are so good, good guy that don't backstabing, good guy that don't say bad thing to friend even face to face also didn't say. Sien.

darkness is always the strongest, this is the true and nothing can change the fate that the world will be swallon by evil. There are no hope and future for everything, what should we do or think now is, pray. When will the light bright out? Baka.

Lunch time post.

29-04-2009 MEANINGFUL MSG .........

No Pain No Gain… Accept the Pain, Future will be Fruitful…


Don't feel the work you are doing is pain, because there will be always a reason for that pain or work.


So face the pain, for the pain you face, there will be definitely happiness a head.

29-04-2009

from what have i know from my parent, i can slowly list out a lots of wrong and incorrect way of teaching a child, i even scold them when they dare to nag me, you are right, i am wrong but nag wouldnt work to make me become correct if i am wrong. last night my sister scream and cry for headache, her head is getting serious and more serious. my father say [mai cha liao la] stop crying already!! tomorrow i still need to work, pleased you so many time still keep on crying] isnt crying need comfort? my father or both, scold. they will effect my sister a lot when she grown up. a proper educational for kid is very important, parent is the one that create what attitude that we are having. i have see a lots of kid in my 19years of living, only 18years, make it 19. some kid is really very mature, younger than my sister, the way she talk and move, very mature. kid is still kid, they still need a lots or caring and affection. my brother is a bit corrupted still can help of course. short bla post.

so tired, sleepy and no energy, morning wake up, online one hour, exhausted

28-04-2009 ELric HOO YIK YANG

28-04-2009 ELric HOO YIK YANG
name: HOO YIK YANG, ELRIC, AH YANG, YANG YANG, YOYO, YIK YANG, EL, XIAO YANG YU YANG, MISTER HOO, LIU YU YANG and a lots more
d.o.b: 08th of december 1990
sex: male
location: malaysia, kuala lumpur, kepong, meadow
blood type: O positive
eye colour: brown
hair colour: brown
height: 178 cm
weight: 48kg
hobbies: online, watch anime, sms, singing and more
interest: online, drawing, paper folding, blogging, anime and more
love: meadow
religion: buddhism
race: chinese
speak: english, manderin, cantonese, malay, hokkien, hakka, japanese and more
relationship status: single
flavour: salty
just some boring blog post. I am going to upload a bunch of photo at bottom so please check it out, i will put caption on every photo, photo arrangement is random. Sleep only 3hours from last night. so tired and sleep~
only two people celebrating father birthday, sorry i am not joining it, they sing their own song, blow their own candle, me? eat only
my father very giam siap, cake, one year smaller then one year, opposite~ cincincaicai only la, nothing special, try guess how small is a son cake? wait 08december
my sister cant wait the cake to be potong, she want to eat already, staring at the sweetest part
making wish, [toto, magnum, 3+1D] lai lai lai lai lai, give me a lot money, photo takin on 21april
>_< cute, company de, not mine, cant give you, buy you one next time, it is a puppet lai de o.. got full set, more than 10+ animal i guess
my sister want to play my chatting -_- melayu pun tak tau tulis, mau main chatiing?
alah, dah marah, next time la, next time
see her sui yong, what you want?
you tau malukah? sebagai seorang abang, adik pun tau mop, you tau apa?
so hard working, me how? sit and online only ma >_< i got help
what is she starring at? leng zai?
;p my computer, nothing much to say, rubbish
until now i still cant make it work leh~ haih, how?
my father watching x using my computer, a mouse also dont know how to move, haih, kesian
today i bring this to work, makan la, lu ingat apa
so delicious but not enough. my blog are starting to become dusty even that i update everyday

ELRIC HOO YIK YANG post end

28-04-2009 a very late post that say about my night outing just now and some story

a night post after going out with friend,
i am very lame. Too silent. Didn't get enough social or actually i have been left out.
Everything's that they talk, everyone that they mention, everyone that is here, WHO ARE THEM, this is what i want to ask. I have been totally left out. I am not feeling good about it, i am too silent and don't know everything's. They wouldn't ask me go out anymore, i am extra, they don't really wanted to ask me out, reason that they asked me out today, i live near. Today before two friend reach, there are another one unknown couple, who are them? What i do is mute. All the people that they mention, who they are? How to i call them? Don't really care. If i get along well with them then it will be okay. First, me and Thomas with one couple. After the couple left, another two friend of mine come. Four person. Actually our heart is linked, very close, a strong relationship already build when me are on secondary. They are asking me out to club, hundred dollar something per entry. If they ask me to pay some share to girl, no thanks. I am thinking, i already lose my job, going to club meet up with a bunch of unknown. I am not rich plus i don't have any work yet. Of course i want to go. Let me think about it first. My meadow ;p nothing much to comment about it, simple and normal ;p secret. Another things that i am so speechless, i don't know what to comment now. Meadow say, i can't do anything already so why must i think so much? Why don't i mix her group if i have leave. Be happy with my life, meadow say don't care what people say because it is my living way, i know myself alright then it is enough. Tell you my current time, it is 1:21 AM now. I hate one person so much now, not because of anything, just it don't treat me as human, example (you see what girl also like la) (you always flirt with girl) (you always watch those porn) (you are a hacker) (don't trust Elric, he can hack) > this effect is enough strong (you got a lot girl msn contact) (you flirt a lot) (you always love girl) you know how lazy am i when i chat with this human? Keep on saying all this stuff to me, i can screen shot a log, don't need copy paste. I feel so lazy to chat with him, i don't ignore him. (you always updating blog) it mean what? I go to club with friend, (you go to pub) (pub sure got sexy dancing) (sexy girl) (drunk people or girl) (dark place, alcohol) everyone know alcohol place don't allowed underage even if you drink juice (ya ya ya, don't allowed underage, this place is so many sexy girl dancing and drunk people) i meet one new friend, it is a girl (you always meet new girl as friend) those bracket word, i already tak tahan reading those that written to me. Every time when i chat nicely, he will say a lots of rubbish in bracket, this is how you say a friend? I ignore you because i am enough of your nonsense. Your chatting way really make me ask you (please shut up) if you don't like me, just don't care me a lot, have some normal chat. What you need is, tell everyone i don't treat you as friend anymore, OR ACTUALLY you must know what have you done? Go to people blog and say every time when i visit random girl blog, i will see HYY. Ignoring you got my reason. AND i don't forget friend when i am in love. Current time 1:40 AM head aching. Just tell me, this (i hate you) done, don't need to say me a lots of things. I am so lazy with you, totally different when i newly meet you. Meadow, what i need to do is leave it? Explanation not work anymore. Meadow, HUGS!! Bye all. Good night and sweet dream.

i have a great time playing counter strike with them, hundred of match till very late, the match improve my skill and almost overtake them. i am weak but actually i am sharpening my skill. this world actually is very reality, only the strongest can survive. what i do, i must be strong on everything.

this world actually is very reality, only the strongest can survive > not for gaming but in real life

27-04-2009 Flame of love

Tell me, do you see it? My broken heart
My eyes, in which the shadow is mirrored, tremble as if they were waves

If I slightly closed my eyes, I would wet your sweet lips
Although I go off or can't help starting to run to flee, I am pulled back

Until the edge of the misleading world
Even a lonely dream delicately shines
Flame of love

I'm still, are you searching for it? The sea profoundly distorted
I see, the future that's been thrown away because you put aside its silhouette

Having donated more light the private space withered
By now throwing away the key of the mystery is as at least it is possible to reach it

Desiring the strength to envelop the misleading world
I sadly embraced it
Flame of love

I'll find out heaven there on this earth
Even a lonely dream delicately shines
Flame of love

26-04-2009 I Can Only Call it Love

This crazy feeling that I can only call love
Can't be stopped by anyone else anymore

Your eyes that looked like a lonely summer knew that I had a lover
But, unawares, we were seeking for each other
As if we had found a fireplace at winter

If you call my name in a delirium...
Why do you say 'Sorry'?

Only love is the answer! In this intense affection,
My feelings aren't only a game
I want you now, I want to lock up
Your body and your destiny on my arms

I made a small rose bloom with my lips on your chest
But as the perfume vanishes soon,
This rose will probably wither someday

Even after when you say "See ya"
I plunge into eternal nights... even tonight

Such a secret passion that I can only call love
Even if all the world became my enemy,
I'd snatch you for myself, prying open the future,
And holding you along with all the pain

25-04-2009

9:08 AM
Done something stupid, do you know? Things that you do is wrong, do you know? Do you know, you done something that is very wrong? Sorry. Things that i do, i really don't mean to make anyone feel offend. Things that i have do, can't be erase just that way. Elric, please.

10:13 AM
just knock my forehead on a very hard steel, just a bit scratch, it is okay. If i can repay what have i done by knocking my head now steel, i will knock it as hard as i can but the problem is not that easy to be solve by hurting my own body. It is too much, TOO MUCH! Again, sorry.

10:45 AM
there are too much things that i have done, i don't feel hurt for it, really, just a bit disappointed to myself. This is not the first time but second time, making you feel very offend with a lots of matter that create by me. I am a bit scare that i will done the same thing to the one i like now. I wouldn't let it happen to her and anyone.

11:37 AM
last night i send a message to S, it is just a simple good night greeting sms, i know she is having some difficulty on typing sms so i am not expecting her to greet me back, just hope that she can sleep well and have a good night sleep. The sms that i send her last night got some mistake on word and i don't know about it, i am so sorry for that. Sometime things that i want to write comes up with wrong word. I am quite happy last night because of receiving a bunch of sms from her, each sms tickled me a lot. I wonder is she awake now? She must be sleeping very late last night. I hope she can sleep well. Going to send her sms later. End my writing awhile, got something to do.

24-04-2009

2:11 PM 

just checked S blog on lunch time when i am about to offline. What can i do is, be confidence to myself and don't think something that make me feel down, i don't think it is that difficult to be owned. 

It is impossible for someone to forget something other than we let go of it because things that we already forget, doesn't mean we wouldn't remember it 

3:30 PM 

i am exhausted right now, last night i sleep early then last two night but it is still a very late time. I will get ready to sleep on 11pm every night so that i can have more energy on the next day. It is for the good of my face and health too. I am really very tired now, will collapse very soon. 

3:53 PM 

i really can't hold my tiredness. I am resting myself on the floor now, too tiring. I am thinking of working with my friend, he say he is straight and follow the rules well. He is store manager. I like his style when working because i can be very serious when working too. He is a young successfull guy. I will think about it. 

4:14 PM 

i will not wait you for that long, i don't know whats make you think that you need that long time to let go a problem, there must be some kind of reason behind everythings so that you will think it that way. I have read all your blog post, i remember what you have write, of course i don't expect any answer from you for now. What you need is time. Sometime i try to tell myself that actually the feeling that i am having is not real BUT i just can't stop myself thinking of you. The you in my mind is not a picture, it is a type me feeling that make me think of you. (what i am saying) time can't make my feeling fade, just like what have i posted up before, a week without any sound from you, i am still having the same feeling. (how i write this all out? :/ it s a bit weird) 

5:22 PM 

didn't write a lots of things after lunch. A bit tired and sleepy. I will back right away after get home, splash with cold water. Six day more to go. I am so hot and sweating now. I am stink x( must bath quick after get home. Okay then, got to end my writing now. I will be back on first of may.

24-04-2009 huh? [4440555666888330999666880777744.44477755533999]

9:09 AM
it is a very busy morning for today because i have to pack a lots of thing for school and get ready to be deliver. This morning happen a very silly thing and i just discover it. Tell you what happen and whats wrong in next timeline. Going to do my things now. Work hard.

9:46 PM
I am back :) Tell you what happen this morning until when i discover it in work :p My sister is sick, she caught a cold and having a very serious headache so she is not going to school. Every morning i will give her a kiss because she is so pity :( i give her a kiss on face and hope that she will get well soon, i don't mind that she pass her sickness to me. Today is special a bit, my sister is getting better, she is playing with me too, this morning when i go near and hug her, huh, she pull up the zip on my shirt, want to know how it look like after she pull up?

it is so embarrassing, i don't know how i look like until i feel very hot then only i discover that my sister pulled my zip. Try imagine how i look like and what everyone will think? By the way, i suppose to feel shy but i don't? No one tell me about the zip when i am in home, thats why my sister laugh until so silly. My zip suppose to be this way

never mind :( my sister is pro in disturbing people. Go shopping complex want to bao or sit trolley. Next timeline. 

10:19 AM 

just know that my shoes need to change a new one. The work that i am doing spoiling every shoes that i wear. This is my right shoes.

throw this rubbish away and get a new one!

my left shoes seen to be nothing wrong but still got some spoiled part.

so this is what we called cheap stuff don't last long? I can't change any shoes yet, it still can use. Continue my writing on next timeline. 

10:35 PM 

from now on, i will make myself eat more than what i eat daily. I don't want to be a thin guy. It don't suit anyone. Try guess what i bring to office today.

you are right, i bring egg tart to work. The egg tart look a bit spoil already :( i like to eat it when it is round. Now i have to eat piece by piece. Lunch must eat more. You know what S tell me yesterday? She say she eat only 3 tomatoes for lunch :( is it enough for you? Is it okay? Your lunch time is only three tomatoes, you will be very hungry at early time :( hungry is really bad plus you are working. I can treat you dinner for a very short time but not everyday. Are you making joke and lying me that you eat only that few things? Don't joke please T^T continue my write on next timeline. 

10:53 AM 

yesterday, the things you tell me. Actually it is not because of you so that i say i like older girl than me. Girl that is boyish and older than me is always the type of girl that i like from last time, don't you know? Falling on you create me a test and exam, i have to pass. Be the one you (admit with) thats what i will do. 

11:06 AM 

just have some arm muscle training.

thin is thin, no matter how hard i train, i am still thin. Have you ever heard of paper bone wrapping? Thats me xp This can't be long or much. Staying in home always is really a bad bit, going out alone is better, at least i am not in the cage right? I am thinking of buying a basketball and play it. My three point ball is very accurate, don't play with me. Show you on video if got chance. Few minute length of 100 % accurate three point shot. Sorry for my arm photo. Can you all see my two tahi lalat on my muscle? That mole. Continue next timeline. Want to do some pumping. 

11:34 AM 

[4440555666888330999666880777744.44477755533999] what did i write? It is not the time now, never mind then. Just snap one photo and changed its effect.

How is it? It is a very ugly photo. I will work hard and stop my daily timeline post next week. Next week is my last week in this company. Having some soft cough x( drink more water. Write some later on next timeline. 

11:58 AM 

i am going to spent a long time on this blog post because i got a lots of things need to upload and set. The word soon and set always remind me of her. She got online later? Who will buzz who first if she got online? I am not going to buzz her. I like acting in photo, it is so different from real life. 

see this photo? By my acting skill

eye with anger, full of hatred and the feeling of revenge, LOL childish word.

an emo act, it shows the emo Elric when he is feeling down and more. There will be tears if he is weak.

 i want my lunch time to be now and quick please! Quickly post this up and chat, i got some question want to ask her. I will run out from office later. Stomach feeling weird pulak. One more things, don't judge the me on text, don't compare the attitude of my text attitude in real world. 

12:08 PM 

didn't send any sms to S x( actually i got a lots of things want to chat with her but i scare that she is busy. She might look free on computer and online but it is different when on phone. I use too much time on phone too, got to stop my writing awhile. I will publish this later. I will write something after this timeline if can. 

12:31 PM 

it is time to go back now. Office clock on walk is a bit slow so i can't go out yet, need to wait few more minute. Actually i am not expecting anyone to read my blog because i am not asking anyone to read too. This post is like writing to someone but i don't mind if no one read, this is what i want to write. Okay then, got to go now. Post end, publishing it :p

23-04-2009

enough and no more

he will know what will he get if i am mad, why cant he stop his * attitude on how he chat? he is just like a * and i don't think he is that * or actually he do it on purpose? i already know it from early, he already don't want to be my friend or already don't treat me as friend so what he keep on bugging me? just stop popping out those useless things. you are so lame. so now if you read this, stop your pop up greeting if you don't want to chat with me. i will block you if you if i don't want to quarrel with you. what you made is making me angry, i wonder how you treat other friends of yours. from my knowing, they are quite okay to you, only me that is different. i blocked you before, you are making me sick. now i have to block you again, i have to choice, of course you are still my friend. i know you cant change already. i know you don't want me to be your friend too, end it then. it is okay, i will keep you in my friend list. i am sick of you.

ELRIC POST

i am a bit shock and a bit happy today. the moment when i see the online status is just like (hard to describe how happy am i) actually i plan to bath right away after work but i online first. is this what we call fate? if i bath and do everything, my online time will be late and i think i cant see you online. the advise you give me, thanks. i am going to sleep early tonight, just make a last post. tonight is a bit hot.

i don't know what i want to write now, i think i need some sleep. my body temperature is rising and i can feel the heat. must drink more water or i will fall to sick. how do i change my day, how to i change my life, everything is on my hand and by my hand, i am the one that controlling everything. this is my life, i can do whatever i want, why must i pass them?

i fall to a girl again, am i really serious or actually i am just playing a fool? the previous girl i like, actually i fall quite deep to her but she already been taken, i use quite hard time to forget and accept it. i will try my best to be the one you 认同 okay? sorry for my chinese word if there are some mistake, i already ask a lot of people but still cant get a confirmation. i will ask you something tomorrow if i see you, if not, i will send you a message and ask you in facebook. want to know something from you.

it is late now, time to sleep *yawn* actually i dont really get what you mean

23-04-2009 untitled

1:59 PM 

i can't stop myself thinking of you, what i want is some response. You seen to be avoiding me but why? What have i done, i don't mean to offend you if i really done something take make you feel upset. Are you angry with me? I will be right back, i want to check my sent item. 

2:39 PM 

i think i know what have i done. I don't mind that you don't want to forgive me, what i want to tell you is sorry, not going to repeat what have i done, please don't keep it in your heart. I already felt so regret on what have i do to your friend. Actually i suppose to be joking. 

2:51 PM 

bahasa melayu ialah sebuah subjek yang paling senang di malaysia, adakah ini betul? Dari dulu saya sudah berfikir begitu, sebenarnya bahasa melayu senang tetapi semakin lama saya belajar, semakin susah saya berasa, sebenarnya saya sudah tak berminat dengan bahasa melayu dan mula membenci melayu. Mengapa saya berfikir begini? Saya rasa tiada orang akan percaya apa yang saya kata, cikgu melayu tidak suka mengajar budak cina dan cikgu cikgu semua memandang rendah terhadap kami. Murid melayu juga suka menghina budak cina. Sebenarnya saya dah sangat malas dengan melayu. Saya tidak berfikir sebenarnya dunia ini masih ada melayu yang betul betul baik kerana melayu yang paling saya mempercayai boleh mengkhianati saya. Saya tak bermaksud nak cakap benda yang tidak baik terhadap melayu, saya percaya dunia ini mempunyai banyak orang melayu yang baik. Saya sebenarnya pun bukan seorang yang sempurna, saya kurus dan tinggi, berhati busuk, selalu membuat orang rasa tidak baik, cuma tahu cakap, penakut dan tidak bersosial. Saya membosankan dan tidak berguna langsung, seperti sampai dengan tong. Stop saying those, i am making myself feel down. Not suppose to think that negatively, i should be positive and confidence. 

3:14 PM 

i miss you so much, i hope i can always be with you, hug you tight and make you feel happy. What have i say and who is it to? I am feeling weird. I am feeling stupid. Stop saying i am feeling weird or stupid! Admit it and be brave to myself. Confidence! Okay now, write something later. 

3:42 PM 

i am training myself to be strong, it is physical training. I want myself to be strong. I already look thin, i don't want myself to be weak. No girl will like a guy that is thin and weak. My motive to be strong is to protect you. Cole is right, we are thin but we can be strong. 

3:58 PM 

i can't wait to go home and online. Still got one hour and thirty minute. RL actually do you think it is possible for me to fall on her after you? Do you think the feeling that i am having to you is fake last time? NO! I am really in L with you. In L with you then in L with her? Is it possible? I can't stick to you because you have been taken, in the time i feel unhappy, there are someone that accompany me and chat with me everyday. 

4:31 PM 

one more hours. I love plurking so much, how i hope that my friend can join plurk. It is a type of online shout out that can be comment and chat. Karma is for some accessibility on emotion and more. Chatting on plurk quite interesting and special, it is just like giving comment type me chatting. 

4:42 PM 

EL be confidence to yourself! This is what i tell myself when i feel like, i can't do it. Must be confidence to myself. My phone battery is showing low status already, my phone will off automatically. If you see some broken text after publishing this post, it mean my phone is out of battery. 

4:50 PM 

everything will be solve when we meet, to know whether i am real just playing, just find a day that we can meet. I will be the one that going to meet you. Actually i got plan and think to meet RL last time, i want to proof that i like her not because of image but heart. She's already unavailable, so it is over. Lets make it next month if i got time. 

5:07 PM 

twenty minute more, time pass very slow when we are waiting it to pass. I got one every interesting question, will you choose the one you love now if your life have been restart? Will you choose back your first love? My answer is, if one day i realizes that my life have been restart and i still have the memory of it, i will choose the one that i love now. I will beg my parent to move to the area that she is living. DREAMING. 

5:33 PM 

i will go home and publish this post later. I need to bath right away after get home because my body will be very heaty. Sleeping late for so many night, wakes up very early everyday too. I am lucky that i am still alive, every minute of me is tired. Walking back home now, publish this later.

post made early..

23-04-2009 hmm

8:44 AM 

good morning. Reach to office very late today :( luckily didn't get scold because my boss already don't care me, i am leaving. This last seven day in april will be the end of my work [i am so sleepy :/ i wonder how are you today, do you have a nice sleep? My phone wakes me up in very early time :( it is at five something in the morning. Not alarm.. It is sms from digi. For my knowing, most of your time you put silent mode on phone right? Make you a bento everyday for lunch if i am able, lunch must eat well only can work nicely, of course breakfast must take or you will be very hungry. Take care ;) i lost your working address signature x( okay then, work hard] i make a very late post last night, very tired. I don't know when will i fall to sick if i continue my act like sleeping late, i feel like my body is getting weaker. Last night i saw a post, i asked Raven is it a forward message. It is about itself, Raven don't seen like letting me know but i already know it a bit last night, i asked Penny to tell me what is it about. I am just like falling to wrong side again. Feeling hugs, holding hand, whats more? What it mean if i feel that? What else IF i don't? Of course i will never simply feel those to any people, not even parent or leng lui friend and more. 

9:37 AM 

forget to charge phone battery last night, i am too tired to remember. My phone battery will dry out if i listen to song and type this. 

i can like you but you can't, i don't think that you will like me because i am a coward in your eye, this is not the true reason i guess. You will like someone but you will not accept anyone. Unforgettable past, you will only fall to someone. It is okay for being rejected if thats the problem. 

My free time is almost there, type something later. I want to type and type and type.. 

10:33 AM 

i see some nice book with a name on it, i will snap in and post it up on bottom in this time line later. This is a very nice and interesting book, price not cheap too. I can't write much things now, boss blame me and say i lost something so i have to fine it out or i will get scold without doing any wrong or reason. Show you the book in this timeline. Write something later.

12:00 AM 

i feel a bit weird, am i in love again? My mind keep on thinking of it and i am starting to do so many silly things. Sometime when i feel like giving up or down, my mind will pop up a text and say be confidence! Is the feeling that i am having call temporarily type.. Time and my action will proof everythings. There are something i want to write out but don't know why *blush* never mind, make it next time. [hey :) lunch time is near now, next month i will be very free because i have resign. Don't know when only i can study or get a new job. I will bankrup but before that, want me to treat you lunch? Just accept if i asked, it don't take a long time. Eat whatever you want, i'll pay but you must take care my purse a bit.. Okay then] i am so hungry now, guess when is my favourite time in my day? It is lunch time, lunch time is my favourite time in everyday especially on weekday. Only EL will know why, why weekday lunch time is his favourite. My mother just called me, she say no one will be in house later because my father is working, my mother go out to see doctor with my sister and my brother is in school. I am a guy, a house without any people and i am online, am i a pervert? Will i watch p*rn or surf those website? Want me to say it honestly? Will i do that? Whole lunch time i will be alone in house, who will believe i don't get naughty? Naughty for watching p*rn. Please trust me, i swear, i will not watch P or search any naughty web. You must believe me, it is not the matter of i am pervert or not, i got a clean mind. I am going back home now. ONLINE. To know what have i do in lunch time, just asked me, i will tell you honestly, to get more stronger answer and true answer from me, ask me by telling me my code. HUNGRY! Go back home now, post end.

23-04-2009 a midnight post that type on a mood call stupid

i am still awake, the current time is almost one o'clock now, after finish this post i think it already pass one o'clock. i have been sleeping late from last week monday to now. i am so tired right now, sometime i feel like want to sleep so much and sometime dont. headache and dizzy, everything come when you are tired and dont want to sleep. what causing me dont feel like sleeping? what is the reason?

the reason is nonsense

• i cant end my day without knowing how are you today
• you seen to be okay and but i feel like there are something wrong
• i dont know whats wrong with me, i dont know whats going on
• it will be weird and no way to you
• i will try to give you air
• [write so much reason for what]

starting from now, i will start to write something thats to you, it will be in column [example] i dont care whether that you know or not, this is what i can do now. i hope i can have time everyday for making post on work. 7day more till the last day of my work. my father say he rather let me stay in home if i want to study so much, he say it dont effect him anything at all. i rather die if he is really that hopeless [;p you told me before, if i say i want to do something then i must do it or i am a coward, what i say just now? i rather die? LOL sorry, it is just an example saying that it is better than die, i am  guy, things that i say i want to do, i must do it]  sorry, i need some sleep now or i will write a lot, i am so sleepy already. short post, post end

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22-04-2009 short post

2:12 PM 

just back to office, i am so late today. My boss don't even know i am late and he is scream my name call for me but i just reach office. 

everythings is actually fine and nothing, maybe i am too annoying or irritating, thats why i have been hate or ignore. I don't think i will disturb her anymore so let the time fade everythings. I will stay awake till morning if tomorrow is sunday. I am just like a coward. It is okay, everythings will be fine. What i want for tonight is stay as late as i can. Actually everythings should be my fault, i am the one that always not serious and like to fool around, making everyone thinks that i and a stupid or not serious. Speechless. 

Got a lots of book to be arrange, space only got few, what the hell, how am i going to arrange this? Elric is stupid. 

3:20 PM 

saya tak tahu mengapa saya ada perasaan ini, saya tak berani nak mengaku atau memberitahu sendiri bahawa saya telah menjatuh cinta kepada seseorang. This is just like a joke. Saya tak faham mengapa saya mesti sentiasa memikirkan dia. End my writing awhile. 

5:45 PM 

now only write something, sms with Raven and doing something just now. I will bath before publishing this. Forget to attached photo on previous post, i will attached it on here.