06-06-2009 <3

there are a girl call Carrien, i know her not more than a month of time, at first, we don't really know each other, normal short chat on facebook only. we slowly go into some long chat and exchange our phone number. me and her, it is something like fate that have been make out. i use to be a very shy boy, i don't dare to make call to unknown and more but i have called her in a very short time after she asked me. i feel so happy and warm when we are on phone, there are a type of feeling of "i don't want to lose you" actually i never expect that an relationship of couple can out that quick in a short time, honestly i love her so much now. last night, when i am on chat with her, i accidentally make offend with my word. afterward, i call her.. when we are on phone, i asked her "why will you love me" she say it is because of feel. she confessed me that she love me and she requested me to be her girlfriend, it is what guys normally do to girl. i feel so touching and have some short tears falling moment, i feel so happy. Carrien is the only girl that loved me so much, i will promise her to take care her well forever and wouldn't her upset with any matters. i am a guy that not really good in expressing my feeling and i am not very good on talking too, i don't know how to say much of those sweet things. i will never lie her and i will be honest to her. it is my first time, telling a girl on phone that i love her, she is my first girlfriend that i have, i love you so much, Carrien. she asked me a lots of question, it is something like testing me too.. i am a bit dumb and don't know what to answer but of course i got tell her, she like my answer. i will share some question that she asked, "you kissed with any girl before" of course no. she ask me, "do you mind that i take away your first kiss" of course i will answer, i don't mine, she is my girlfriend. she ask me "can i kiss you" after she ask me this, she say "what else if i don't want to kiss you" i tell her that i will kiss her, either in public or anywhere. we planned to go genting and stay one night, only our two, renting hotel to stay in same room. this is what she suggested and ask me, it is okay for me but i am worrying on something. although that i am a dumb guy, i watch a lots of drama, listen a lots of thing and know a lot, even anime got teach, it is too obvious. a couple, in one room, stay over night together, what will a couple do? HONESLTY i don't hope that we will happen anything, i am quite agree on having those after married. what am i worrying about is, i scare that she will *request for it, don't me when i say no, angry with me if i say no, beg me for it or try anything for it* i am really worrying about this when we are on genting. i want to be with her, i want to be together with her. by the way, i ask her out for gathering at time square, i hope she can go with me and have fun with me at there.. i she want to go.. going to end my post

Carrien, we will be together forever, i will make sure that you will be the world happiest girl, although that i know i am poor and i dont really have much ability for much things but i will do what i can and what i afford. i dont know whether will you understand my blog or will you read, what i want to tell you is, lao po i love you

post even

post edit
going to genting together is what we want, i think i am going to genting with her family this wednesday, i am so nervous

05-06-2009 CC is her nick

i am 1990, age don't even reach 19 yet. i am type of people that like girl that is older than me but of course it is not about maturity. i like girl that is older and have a very cute young heart, i found that that this type of girl is quite attractive for me. when did i start having this type of mind thinking? i don't really sure when. i know a girl name Carrien Chong, i know her in facebook, she born in year 1988 mean she is older than me at least two years. from what she tell me, she have a boyfriend before. she tell me that she already been single for more than a year and she is hoping to get new relationship. she don't mind of having a 1990 guy to be with her. for me, i wouldn't accept a quick relationship like straight to couple, i will slowly get to know her in real life and slowly from friend to closer relationship. i don't have experience at all, i am a bit worry about this relationship too. what scare about is, she will mine about me.. i think she got a bit like me ;p last night we have a very long phone call, my credit.. used RM20+ on CALL.. around RM23 for 1hours and 10minute something.. then next call is around .. forget.. call two time.. T^T credit is so damn pain but it is worth, count as an experience for me then.. i never been a call for that long with a girl ;p she is.. haha. last night when i make call with her, i feel so damn nervous.. when we are on the phone, honestly, her voice is so soft and not easy to listen and know what she talk, i will slowly get use to it if we are having a lots of call. she is a bit cute to me, telling me she is jealous and more, ask me who is estelle, why treat her so good, haha. promise not to do those anymore ;p last night conversation is very nice :) it is my first time talking with a girl for that long. last night conversation is so much and too much.. she help me find a work on newspaper, read and let me hear. she say she will help me ask her employer for a work too.. distance, she suggest me to live with her, LOL ;p whats more.

okay then, i am going to end my post now, i like her when she say she is jealous xD

04-06-2009 new blog

A brand new look for my blog, i don't think there are people will know or understand how difficult for a blog edit. I hope i can get more visitor for some comment about my blog template. It is really a very tough edit. Sometime i don't understand why people don't want their blog to have more stuff, is it because of complicated or you don't know how to set? Most of the reason i get is, why must i put or i want my blog to be silent or no comment. When i ask again, another reason will be made. Honestly it is not that complicated if you have a lots of stuff on blog, what we need is arrange. I feel quite satisfy with my current blog, i already made a very big edit from the original look to the current look of the blog. I don't expect any comment, saying that my blog is so nice, how you make or what. I just want to let everyone know i don't copy people blog layout to use, i just take the original one to edit. The blog that i am having is unique and no people will have it. Next, i am going to edit the color, i am wondering, what color should my blog be, red, blue, green or current color? To make my blog become more unique, i will edit the color.

I readed Shirley post at last, actually i already know what she going to write when i read the blog first few sentences. The possibility of them, being together, is very high, although the disagreement of Shirley parent is very tight but i don't think there are no hope for it. Shirley must be strong, don't give up, i don't believe that you wouldn't get something you want, the guy of course. For the gathering, i am going to attend no matter what will happen. I don't think she will visit my blog anymore, just make a wish and hope to her then.

I am feeling damn down, the feeling that i am having now is damn sad. My heart, crack like a class, trying my best to hold myself from yelling, hold my tears from falling.

To Ron, you are not reading this right, IF i bu suang you, i will tell the world i love you and we are gay, if you continue spoiling my image, i will gay you until you be guai. Ron, i love you.

Erica, haha, she is so cute, send me so many love, heart and kiss to me at facebook^^ thanks a lot. For estelle, sorry.. This few day i don't really have the mood to play pet society, promise you i will buy you a lots of gift when i am back to pet society.

x( i love my current blog so much! Good night, current time 5:10 AM june4

03-06-2009 facebook tag

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, copy and paste this note, erase my answers and enter your own, tag people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage : plain water
2. Last phone call : so many month ago
3. Last text message : so many week ago
4. Last song you listened to : japanese song
5. Last time you cried : going to

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice : never
7. Been cheated : yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it : kissed my sister, no regret
9. Lost someone specia l: someone that i lost, surely is not the special one
10. Been depressed : always
11. Been drunk and threw up : i cant be drunk

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:

12. BLACK
13. WHITE
14. GREY

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU (2009)

15. Made a new friend : net friend a lot
16. Fallen out of love : ya
17. Laughed until you cried : gaki no tsukai tv show does that
18. Met someone who changed you : yea
19. Found out who your true friends were : so great
20. Found out someone was talking about you : they say i am useless
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list : i will, please wait
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life : 0.1% of it
23. How many kids do you want to have : this year too late already
24. Do you have any pets : never
25. Do you want to change your name : ELRIC KAYSER
26. What did you do for your last birthday : not yet
27. What time did you wake up today : 12pm
28. What were you doing at midnight last night : online until 4am
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for : rich
30. Last time you saw your Mother : now
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life : stronger in mental
32. What are you listening to right now : TV
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom : no
34. What's getting on your nerves right now : gathering
35. Most visited webpage : http://www.facebook.com/
36. Whats your real name : HOO YIK YANG
37. Nicknames : shh..xiao yang for chinese, eri in english
38. Relationship Status : alone
39. Zodiac sign : sagittarius
40. Male or female : 50/50
41. Elementary? : sktk
42. Middle School? : smkkb
43. High school/college? : pipala
44. Hair colour : orange
45. Long or short : tall
46. Height : 175+ CM
47. Do you have a crush on someone? : no
48: What do you like about yourself? : nothing
49. Piercings : tongue
50. Tattoos : on neck, a snake
51. Righty or lefty : right handed

FIRSTS:

52. First surgery : whoa, no
53. First piercing : np
54. First best friend : no
55. First sport you joined : high jumping
56. First vacation : no
58. First pair of trainers : no

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating : no
60. Drinking : no
61. I'm about to : T^T
62. Listening to : TV
63. Waiting on : sleep

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids? : 3
65. Get Married? : 1
66. Career? : yea

WHICH IS BETTER:

67. Lips or eyes : eye
68. Hugs or kisses : hug
69. Shorter or taller : shorter
70. Older or Younger : older
71. Romantic or spontaneous : spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms : stomach
73. Sensitive or loud : loud
74. Hook-up or relationship : relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitan : trouble maker's

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger : other people de baby
77. Drank hard liquor : beer? yea
78. Lost glasses/contacts : not yet wear
79. Sex on first date : not yet
80. Broken someone's heart : yea
82. Been arrested : almost
83. Turned someone down : dont know
84. Cried when someone died : not yet
85. Fallen for a friend? : yea

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself : no
87. Miracles : not on me
88. Love at first sight : not on me
89. Heaven : not me
90. Santa Claus : i am sata cows
91. Kiss on the first date : not on me
92. Angels : how i hope

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time : no
95. Did you sing today? : everyday
96. Ever cheated on somebody? : yea
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? : now
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? : now can already
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? : yea
100. Posting this as 100 truths? : 100% not true

03-06-2009

A complicated life with a complicated mood and feeling. I think i am going for the gathering for next week. Actually i really hope that meet someone at the gathering, i am a bit scare of showing myself too but i want to go no matter what. I don't know what will happen when i attend the gathering, can i really enjoy well and forget everything? I hope i can forget everything and enjoy the gathering. Short post for today.

The flowers are set alight
Sparkling, dancing, releasing a blue dream

Two petals from the fireworks of dreams fall quietly in the sky
Did you, who went away to the other side, see it too? It's the same light

And
Even if the two are apart, I believe that they'll come together again someday
I'm singing to you, singing of this love that tears my heart apart, can you hear my voice?

It's fireworks, bursting in an instant

Bloom proudly, way up high
Sparkling, dancing, releasing a blue dream
The love that protects us rings out in earnest
At least it will be strong until the end
The flowers are set alight

All kinds of words scattered abot mischievously
And the confusion that rooted me to the spot quietly disappeared, can you see

Tomorrow?

It's fireworks, bursting in an instant

I grasp the sparkling, dancing flowers of dreams
As they rain down into my hands
Let my love ring out to you like I wish it to
If it's going to be over, at least let it be strong
The flowers are set alight

It's fireworks, bursting in an instant

Sparkle, dance, send up a blue dream
Someday we'll meet
You, me, and the love that joins us
We'll be strong together, forever

Bloom proudly, way up high
Sparkling, dancing, releasing a blue dream
The love that protects us rings out in earnest
At least it will be strong until the end
The flowers are set alight

01-06-2009 y!am

June 13 y!am member is having a gathering at time square, i am still thinking, should i go? can i go? am i free to go? i don't have any outing just like that big before. i don't have any nice clothe to go, honestly, i don't even have a shoes.. how shame is it, i got make some imagination of myself when i am at there, of course it can be very fun if i can get use to their environment, i can be type that is very active and joke a lot in real life. how many personality in my heart, it is countless and no one will know, i can be very silent and moody, i can be joker or i can be talkative. i hope i can go who the gathering, i scare that i cant get use to those gathering mood, i scare they will play true or dare with me, haha, impossible~ i dont say anything about that game then no one will know.

i already feel a bit frustated about something, i know i am not qualified to feel that and this is what i should deserve, i dont mind or care about it because this is what i must have and feel, so i must accpet the fate and true of it. there are something that i am weird about, i feel like those y!ammers got a bit fishy on something, they seen like knowing something about me but i didnt really spread anything. i dont think there are people that know about it but how come? they read my blog? i dont think so, they will laugh at my post if they does. i am wondering and weird. elric, dont down about it.

ending post
aftering girl dont seen to be difficult for me LOL haha, i dont talk sweet stuff because i dont know how to lie.. haha, got few girl got chance, i found another 1988 and she gived me her number, i didnt ask..

i dont really feel like aftering them

shh

31-05-2009

Current time 2:30 AM just finish chatting with kathy, a new friend. At first i thought that i can ignore and forget it, don't know why when kathy remind me of something of it, suddenly i feel *miss* i don't know whats wrong with it, i don't know what's happen, i don't want to ask, and i don't want to know. I wouldn't force anyone. Until now, i am still telling myself, are you crazy? Do you know what are you thinking now? Just forget it elric, try your best, let it be and stop lying yourself. I want to hold my fish night and punch hardly to fall now! Elric! Complicated. Short post.. I don't want to write much.

29-05-2009

Current time 2:40 AM just finish drinking tea with my friend, main topic is about the way of helping me, they are so great, luckily i still have at least few of those friend or i really will be dead. Before i start my conversation with friend, Thomas drive me out to a car wash at kepong bhp, free car wash by machine, quite fun and nice, he get scolded by those guy because of slow. Simple cleaning at outside, simple cleaning inside, i still can see a bit dust, so what? It is free, still need to complain a lot? His car, he got two car, i name it grey and orange, orange is his main car, the drive out grey one. His grey car is damn sucking dirty and shit, i don't think a simple washing will clean off those thick dust. So dirty. Our conversation is so damn long just now, so many hours of my story. What am a scarying now is my money, please don't finish before i get a new job, i still need money for engaging my job at outside, search and find it. My friend suggested and commented me a lots of job, worth and nice to think. Genting card shuffler, need to have skill and more, taxi driver is really not a bad job, monthly and daily earn quite lots, the important is must hard working, what's more, lorry spare part, learning and work those job, private car driver, LOL stupid. They suggested me damn lots and they are trying their best to help me. I don't put my hope on parent and i don't need their support, i have enough of their kindness and goodness, they are only a normal parent that support me a house and food. Not really don't give support, example a simple jia you also don't have, no offences but they are really, A unique parent. All people will laugh and shame on them. By the way, today i found that Estelle, a friend in my facebook, reading my blog post no facebook note :p it is a bit itchy and shy when she read my blog post, she will know a lots about me, even one of my friend that is free to online also don't care a damn on my blog link. Estelle, work hard and don't be lazy, jia you :) i am a bit tired right now because it is not early now.. Last word. Elric, it is very obvious already, give up and do your best in life, it will not be easy, so i have try my best.

28-05-2009

Current time 4:00 AM going to sleep after writing this post.. Today, my day is a bit good. I want to fix my window life messenger so much, the problem now is i can't remove the program. I can't install a new one without removing it, software and program things, it is very complicated and hard. I went out to drink tea with thomas, mark, andy and me at 8:30 PM just now or yesterday. Talk quite much and a lot, wasted a chance of job because mark can't contact me when he need me! It is damn stupid, i am going to change to maxis if digi continue disappointing me. I am a bit not sure about what mark work does, need to check him out and confirm it if got chance. A remote car and bring away a human life, believe it or not? I believe in future, remote control model will be a type of weapon for killing. I am quite proud me my friend because they have a very cool and enjoyable life, unlike me, what can i do is blame my parent because of, they are hopeless and don't know what is good for me? I don't trust any living human in earth, i don't even trust myself. Don't care and whatever la. Just now i have a very long counter strike match with my friend, they are very pro and i really can't beat them down, what i need is more training, i can't get use to cc computer, if i use my own house computer, surely no problem. Actually we are planning to watch football till morning, they are gambling so i am not joining them. Their club life is making me dream of it, damn syok but not suitable for me yet. I don't want to face my friend with a moody emo face and style, i laugh and talk + joke with then although i don't really feel fine and well. I already awake, i don't want to dream anymore. I think i should get some sleep and stop bullshitting rubbish. Good night. Keep my problem in heart and stuck it off .

27-05-2009

Current time 3:25 AM i am sleeping late again. Actually i already start feeling weird since yesterday till now but i know everything will be fine. Word popped up on my mind is "let it be" it is no use if i think so much. My body temperature is damn high now, sleeping at very late time.

I can't see anything, it is so dark and silent, i can't see my hand, i can't hear my voice. No matter how hard i try to scream, there are no sound out from my mouth. I try to clap my hand, i can't listen to anything. Everywhere i look and see, it is full of darkness, i try to run, but i still can get out from this place. Where am i? I feel so lonely and empty, why am i here? My memory is slowly getting weaker, forgetting part by part. I start to ask myself, who am i? How long i have been walking in this world that full of darkness. I feel like, i rather die than being suffered this way. What is my purpose of living, i can't remember at all. I feel so tired of living, my breathing is slowly get weaken, i already don't want to survive, please stop suffering me.

I can choose the ending with, i feel like someone grabbing my hand but, i have no idea on who. I am so sleepy now, good night.

26-05-2009 let it be

From the very Beginning, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......

The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.

During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....

The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.

When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

25-05-2009 happy birthday to RAVEN LEE XIAO HUI

happy birthday to RAVEN LEE XIAO HUI

today will be the most special day to RAVEN, [age 18 liao], i made this blog post at very early time and make some edit and add

i added this song is for you, not easy to get this song because title is in Chinese
nothing much to say :D usually chat and sms also say liao
i remember what you tell me on what you want at age 18 :D your wish and dream

RAVEN HAPPY BIRTHDAY

CUTE!!!!!!!!!!

Gift of my friendship....

I give to you a gift of my friendship,
A piece of my heart and soul,
A shoulder to cry on when life makes you sad
Laughter for your silly jokes.

An ear to listen to your concerns,
Eyes to see the beauty of your soul,
Advice when you are at a fork in the road,
And a smile to brighten your day.

All this I give you and more
Because you are my friend.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR FRIEND

24-05-2009

Current time 1:50 AM on bed now. I am doing some music video organizing and download just now so i am sleeping late. I am chatting with ron, joey and raven too, sorry to you all because me leaving so early.. I need to control myself from sleeping late so i have to sleep early. I make joey angry already!! So what? She is only a little girl in my eye, i will comfort her back and will not disturb her anymore. In chatting, we will never think about ages or anything. When we chat, we will either feel something not right, for some people, they will think it is equal but actually it is not. From my experience of chatting, i have chat with quite lots of people, i have slowly when into those people and know that it is not equal. Last year, i meet a standard six kid, he chat with me quite well but he is standard six, attitude and style, how to say, he is also a kid, i can feel by his chatting. Just share some chatting experience and never try to equal someone of chatting, actually it is different. I am wondering, did meadow went to the gathering today? I will feel VERY left out if she didn't tell me that she is going!! I wanted to go so much but no transport.. It is not impossible if i want to go. A very short post, good night and sweet dream to all my friends and reader if i have some :)

23-05-2009

Current time 1:30 AM actually i planned to sleep early today but i am still sleeping at very late time, accompanying Joey26 on her share for tohoshinki aka tyqx aka dbsk.. A bit weird right, as known as a lots of name, i call it as dbsk, more main and original on name. Will you think that it will be a bit weird that guy will like those guy singer band more than girl like ayumi hamasaki? I think i will slowly get into dbsk group because they are really cool and great, i already say that my sister will go out to concert with joey26, don't know got chance or not, see first. I think i fall in love with cool joke japanese singer band, those guy are so cool. Temporilary i guess, i want to see and hear more of them just like dbsk. Actually today my mood is a bit down because i know that someone is going to thailand on june, although it is only four day three night, i feel like a bit worry on her.. I hope that she can at least online few minute, let me know that she is okay at thailand or something.. Down like crazy.. Today is a very regretting day, try guess what have i done.. I slapped Shirley in instant message chat.. I writee "piak", very regret.. Promise to myself not to give her any hit word. She say she will remember the date of today and time, she want to beat me up so badly too, listed up a lots of people name that she say she will complain. I rather let her pinch and beat forever. I will pray for her safetiness on thailand, macam mau.. Few day only la. Must snap a lot a lot photo too. Going to stop writing, okay then, good night.. Current time 1:50 AM

22-05-2009 complicated unbreakable chain

don't know why i feel a bit weird, it is not ordinary and i know there must be something wrong into me. normally people will feel a bit pressure in heart till cant breath but i am not.. i am not expecting anyone to read the previous long post but i hope that.. i hope that at least she can understand or know something, whatever.. i don't really care a damn or something, my blog don't have fans so it is okay, so damn complicated and stuck.. i hate feeling down, i hate feeling vandalizing. i am so so complicated. short post.. attention to previous post :(

22-05-2009 girl

Current time 12:50 AM just come back from drinking tea with friends. Just asked them about genting trips date and time, they can't really confirm which day because the schedule they got is a bit complicated. Waiting a free coffee in genting. Just now when i arrived, Mark is on the phone with her girlfriend. Mark is the one that i know the most longest from standard five, i know him very well but the most complicated things about him is i need to believe every word from him.. Something things he say will make people feel like he is lying but actually he don't lie, we will know if he joke, he is a very honest guy. When he is on phone with her girlfriend, try guess what is my reaction with Thomas.. We are shivering with those word that mark say and of course it is not weird to us, we are chillies mean hot, he is candy, you know what it mean, sweet, LOL. Thomas don't seen to be accepting those as sweet, he say Mark girlfriend is damn annoying. For me, it is okay, i feel like asking Thomas borrow his phone, i want to call a girl and prank her on phone, she will never know it is me because the image that i have, in her eye i am a coward. I don't mind about that, promise you guys that i will prank her on phone. Wonder will it work or not, i will never reveal myself that i am the guy that prank her till i really need to reveal then only i will say. Today my mood is very good, i talks a lot to them because they don't have anything to say, slowly intro some pass story and cars. Thomas is quite lonely, i can be by his eye, only games that accompany him, luckily he have money and a group of gang that always active or he will feel very sorrow. Actually i am planning of offline early and sleep early, at last i am still sleeping at this late time, writing blog on phone and waiting to publish. The world is very reality, let me ask you a question "you and your friend" one of you both need to die, i am wondering, who of you two will stay. If me, i will choose myself to be dead, will my friend say "no, let me die" true is, they will not say that. This is a made out question, everyone can make a lies on it, the true of human only will be reveal only when it happen. A car accident, the car is going to explode and your friend stuck inside, if you can't pull it out, you will die, if you runaway, you will be safe. I am dumb, i will try my best to safe my friend. I am stupid, in real life, it is not worth for that. Whatever. People always human that is K, their heart is always fragile, maybe it is true. You will always hope for someone happiness but what about our self? Every unwellness swallon by own, feel by own. Have you all try, biting your teeth tight and hold yourself from crying? This is emptiness. There are something that i want to blog out but don't know why i can't. I am not scare because she will read or anything, just the feeling is stucking quite hard and difficult to explain and blog out, there are too much and so suffering. I am not expecting her to read this part. You know i like you, you can act nothing, i can act silent, i don't hope for any answer, i don't wish for anything, i just what a test of exam to myself. And lastly try not to act don't know. Thats all. My friend is asking me to go to secondary school carnival, of course i will agree to go with him, although that i like older girl but actually i quite like student, after all, i am single. Silly me, young girl don't seen to be attractive to me but older girl that have a young heart is quite cute and attractive. Too sad that i don't have much chances of meeting older girl, only one. Wait i minute, i start to like today blog.. Nice! I can comment something about girl that i like, a lots more. Darn, i am a bit tired right now.. There are someone that i want to mention, C, she is a very cute young girl, too sad that she is younger that me one years or i will after her. Actually we have chance to be together i guess, she asked me out to a date too.. C is a very mini short cute pretty girl, eye very round and big too, can count as type that i like. Last time i always think, if we like someone, we will don't care anything or how it look. Girl that i like, long straight hair, thin and small, shorter than me, have a very sweet smile, eye must big and round, talkative, very active and smart, the most important is kind and ting hua, don't make me worry about her. Whats more, must always report me when there are something happen to her, tell me each time when she is happy, sad or moody. Tell me her daily story everyday. This is type of girl that i like. No girl that is perfect in this world, girl that i like doesn't match with my taste, oh well, never mind, what to do if i already fall on her, accept the fate. Just now my friend fetched me back, they suddenly say they heard that i have girlfriend already, my reaction is like shit, they found it already but the true is i don't even have one. My friend is very stupid, they will advise me to beware of fat girl that will rape me when i am walking to home, on staircase. I forget my blog birthday and when it made, what i know is, it is on may. Poor blog. Shirley thinks that i am type that very easy to believe people, sorry, i am not, i always suspect and think that my friend is lying, i always suspect everyone is lying, i don't trust myself, i don't trust anyone, do you noticed that i always ask a word, "sure?" I am sick again, my heart will beat when i think of you, my face will red when i look at your photo, i will feel that you are there when we are texting. This is a very long post, whoever that readed this can make a wish to me and i will grant it. A wish that i can do it of course, i will do anything. This is a promise to this post reader. Okay then, time to sleep, current time is 2:15 AM good night and sweet dream. Meadow, oyasumi .

21-05-2009

Just now my mother say something about my job again when i am not online and sitting at a comfortable sofa. She is asking me to get temporarily job. She is too free, nothing to say when she is ironing my sibling school uniform. Get scolded by me with a very acceptable reason till she speechless. If my father is awake on dining room, a war will begin again. My parent don't understand and misunderstand me, this is the reason of war. I believe in future, my sibling will have same war that i am having. Trust me. Lets say something about my blog, i love my blog to be silent in public, i want to change my blog themes colour to bright and dark. I want it to be very nice too. Helped Raven fulfiled her dream on blog, actually i like to have a very special blog templates but it is not easy to manage, a lots of edit need to made because i want my blog to be unique. I am wondering, hey Shirley Soon, want me to make you a black and white fairy dust background for blog? Please.. It will be very nice. By the way, bright and dark mean black and white :p actually what colour do i like? Red and black or only black? Today Shirley tell me that she hates pink, i don't think she really mean to hate pink. Pink is sweet, gentle, kind and cute, i think Shirley feel geli with this feeling so she hate pink but actually i think pink colour quite suit her actually.. She can be very gentle by loving pink colour. Every colour that a people like will have a meaning behind, no one really hate a colour, just dislike. I belong to colourless so it mean i am a very blur guy. Raven love green, if she like dark green, it bring emo and grey feeling. Haha, she like emerald green and all green. I am not a professional colour explainer so i am not accurate and real. Shirley likes black and white, it is lame :p it sound lame but actually it can be very nice too. Today my feeling not a bit good so it bring speechless me out, a bit only. Question, why i want you to dare me, you don't dare me, why when i feel nervous, you purposely make me more nervous and dare me? Pity guy got unsolvable question. I hate myself of being say (emo) it is me and it is the true me and it is my style, who cares. No offence to anyone. I know quite lots friend in facebook, i want to be famous to all of them :p get their responds and respond them, disturb their post and more, it is so fun. Going to sleep, so tired, current time 1:35 AM good night

20-05-2009

So many day didn't write something about myself already. Actually i am feeling quite fine nowadays or should i say i am feeling complicated? Hard to explain and it can't be explain. Never mind that. I am starting to sleep late and feel a bit fun on night time.. It make me feel down too.. Time to write about friends~ i heard Raven tell me that Joey broke up with her boyfriend already, Joey is too young for love and i don't think she is serious too.. She might feel pain and sad but it will fade very quick and soon. I hope that she can be fine and will be fine. I didn't chat with her for a long time already and she don't seen like mixing me up too. I will chat with her tomorrow. Ron, back like always and chat now, be myself and be hims self, chat like always and be friend, it make me think of me and hamburger situation.. I think he already forget me completely, only remind will make him think of me. I think i can understand how Ron feel on his life, i got checked his blog so i know a bit of him. From what i have know, he don't have confidences with his friendship, thats all. He have friend, it can be few or it can be a bunch, i don't know.. Just be confidence on it. About Ron love problem, you better don't think about it first, this is my advise IF YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE LOVE TO ANYONE. Chat with him tomorrow. Mimpi burung menjadi kenyataan, haha, she own herself a green color blog with her wish and request. Don't know why from small to now, i am very RELA on helping people, see people got problem, i will busybody.. Talk Raven things first, i am so jealous with her blog!! How come it can be so nice and green, she is having the most unique blog in the world, thanks to elric of course. Nothing much to say about Raven, everyday chat and sms ma. Chat tomorrow. Say about joey now, another joey in facebook, she is a japan song lover!! Cool!! She have share me a lots of song and it is really nice!! Haha. She uploaded her student art work to facebook, it is really very nice and creative, i got a feeling of touching too when i see those kid artwork. Habis cerita joey. Now Shirley Soon punya cerita, short short only la, i hope that she can go for her gathering in alamanda at saturday, actually i wanted to go too but i need to stay one night at Shirley house :D night time go back to kepong very dangerous ma. I know she don't mind :) mimpi got la. I will try to help her on this. The problem is transport and her mother permission.. I don't mind if i can fetch her. Pity girl. Chat tomorrow. Elric, today his mother ask him to change the kitchen light so he must climb up high, actually elric is scare of high.. Not very scare but very very scare. Haih, i can choose not to help but what can do if auto respond? Hold on a second. I need to tell meadow this :D today i request meadow to give me her father phone number because i want to help her call her father to fetch her.. She is busy so i request to helped her. I already hold up my phone and start pressing those number, i am a bit nervous and weird why the number so familiar.. Huh.. It is her number~ she keep on asking me call la :p sorry for being so coward, you macam cabar me and think i don't dare. I like to prank people on phone :D my another personalily attitude, a playfull me. I will prank meadow with public phone or friend phone so wait and see. Wait la you. Raven also will kena. Next story. Today i add Shirley ask friend in facebook, Shirley Chu, a girl that i like last time, now don't like already because it is old story. So coincidences that she have a same english name with meadow. She accepted me as friend in facebook, viewed her profile and know that she break up already? Not my problem la. I want to add a lots of friend and i want to comment all their post too. Current time 4:30 AM tired and good night, last word, sorry for my english, tired..

20-05-2009 HATE ME

HATE ME
JUST CLICK THAT IF YOU HATE ME, I DON'T MINE
I WILL ONLY BE VERY DISAPPOINTED

DON'T KNOW WHY I FEEL SO DOWN WHEN I AM STAYING LATE AT NIGHT.. SEE I FORGET TO UPDATE MY BLOG AGAIN.. I PROMISE MY FRIEND AND EVERYONE, SAY THAT I WILL UPDATE MY BLOG EVERYDAY.. THIS SIMPLE THINGS ALSO I CANT DO SO NEXT TIME HOW?

HATE ME
YALA I KNOW YOU WANT TO CLICK, CLICK LA, CLICK ALREADY DONT ADMIT ME AS FRIEND, IT IS OKAY THAT YOU CLICK, I DONT SCARE, IF YOU REALLY CLICK, DONT KACAU ME LIAO

HATE ME
GOING TO SLEEP, 3AM ALREADY, CLICK IT AFTER FINISH READING :D

18-05-2009

Become a wind, unfathomable distress.
I'll hold back your loneliness.
The two of us are a bracing wind, oneness.
Even if this world comes to an end, I won't leave you.

Deep within my rusted memories,
I feel like you cried out to me,
just as if our very cells yearn for each other.

When two souls that have shed their loneliness
embrace and melt into one,
from out of loneliness, love is born.

Burst into flame, distress that blocks the way.
I want to burn the darkness of the past.
Our hearts are, yes, endless.
A real miracle is right here with us.

If by chance we're ever separated,
I'll probably be a mere shell of who I was,
like a swan whose wings have completely floundered.

It's OK to show you can bare your loneliness,
healing the pain with your lips
until a rose blooms in your heart.

Become a wind, unfathomable distress.
I'll hold back your loneliness.
The two of us are a bracing wind, oneness.
Even if this world comes to an end, I won't leave you.

When souls that were born along with loneliness
are brought together by fate, and melt into one,
eternity begins to flow.

Burst into flame, distress that blocks the way.
I want to burn the darkness of the past.
Our hearts are, yes, endless.
A real miracle is right here with us.

Become a wind, unfathomable distress.
I'll hold back your loneliness.
The two of us are a bracing wind, oneness.
Even if this world comes to an end, I won't leave you.