The time when i am writing this, it is on first of april. The day when i go out with my girlfriend, and the time i am in bus, on my way back midvalley, then from there i will take taxi straight back. It is hard to meet up good taxi driver from midvalley to my house. I don't have confidences about going back by taxi in kota raya. Maybe it is better and cheaper? Hope i don't get dizzy till nearly vomit because i am writing on bus. Quite shaky but i am fine i guess. Today actually should be the day i went out to kl with girlfriend. Buying her stuff. Belated birthday present. Feeling quite depressing now because everything end up in hotel. I know i am horny or whatever fucking thing. I know i really pervert. Not really pervert but sex desire is a bit high. I manage to relief three time for around 3hours time. I should not have sex with her anymore in case accident do really happen. I don't want to be father this early and i don't want her to be pregnant in this young age. My energy, or what do i call. Erm, life power? Energytic? I am getting sleepy each day. Feel like getting it worse. My emotional control or what shit thing slowly get weak. Mind and thinking getting slow. Balances too. Just getting weaken by waking up middle of the night all time, it is everyday. I wont depress if i think of other thing. Having this girlfriend, she is really depressing me. Ya she really change a lot. I admit it. Finally i understand, love can't force. If you don't like, mean don't like. I will slowly solve my problem. I need more clear mind thinking. I need to have more enough sleep. I want to start doing my own business, earn my first bucket of money. I don't compare myself for other. I want to let all people know i am not a noob guy. I am the best. You might look down at me, but i want everyone proud of me. I still remember my dream. I wish to raise japanese animation popularity in malaysia with my hand. I mean heart. Someday, i will do it. I guess, i really stop being lazy now. Really regret why i am lazy when i got the energy to think and do. Now? Day by day, i am getting weak now. I really need medical check up. Need some expert and not those cincai. Yi zhen, after writing all this, my heart and mood feel better. I don't love you. I don't like you. But i will make you understand. Hope we can end in peace. Wait i regain back my energy. And hope i don't go early. Will be posting this in new blog. If there are reader. Thanks a lot. Sms me or call me. I will be free at 8pm daily. Need counselor or people to talk. Thanks again.