today.. erm.. last night i said that i am going to sleep early already, but i sleep late.. tonight, i said it again, i must sleep early..today, her message come quite slow and simple.. (i get down easily by normal thing) i think i will have a short post for this. sibling, or family relationship, or some kind of relationship under relative or cousin.. getting well with them, and like them, it is normal right? i dont know.. i just get jealous without reason.. i hate myself..
maybe i am childish, or mind and thinking still not stable.. i get wu hui and offend very easily.. my mood can get down with small thing too. i dont like dont like dont like..so easy feel sad if got little bit problem.. jealous king.. i admit i am very easy get jealous..
just back home from eating ABC with friend at petaling jaya, walao.. rain leh.. actually i dont have much thing to write now but i want to write.. love only cure is love because you lose your love so you need to find it back. some wont need it anymore after losing but some no.. whatever.. losing patient again..
recently, and honestly.. there are not reason for me to hide anything here because this is my blog, and this is my world so i will write all my thing in blue word. i am wondering now, does she know that i am trying to get near her? i wanted to understand her more, i wanted to know her more.. or just say that i want to know her everything. fine then, the first night i didnt get her good night greeting or sms reply, it is just like.. damn it.. end already? it mean, our conversation finish? no more? scare.. i felt very upset and i sleep late.. okay then, after realizing that she give me a message at morning.. i am very relief until i sleep until very late.. middle case now.. i hope that i can have someone to guard.. mean, ask me to do something that it is good and i wont do even if i know
bring water to work
finish my lunch
bring empty bottle back to home after work
use heart to work, dont lazy
quick a bit while doing thing
work hard
go to bath after work, dont bath late
take care my face well
save more money
drink more water
sleep early
dont online so much
want someone to memorize me all this, or want her to tell me this. i can give hundred percent confirmation i will do. dont know why, i feel like, i only will listen what she ask me to do.. huh? weird.. i am a very stubborn guy, i dont listen to anyone and i dont do what people say.. i only will listen what she say. weird right.. she can control me. in horoscope, i can count as a hunter and she is a beast. horoscope explanation is very accurate and true. =====hold on a second, searching for horoscope detail=====
These two both have flaming passions, and a sense that life is an adventure to be celebrated. Dating involves play and possibly travel, with (me) drawing (her) outdoors and soon both are glowing with fresh fire in the cheeks. Falling in love makes them feel even more alive. The athletic Sadge stirs the lion out of laziness, and into the game of pleasure.
Trouble begins if (her) suspect that the Archer is an equal opportunity lover. (her) jealousy is a bad fit with the (me) pursuit of varied experience in romance. Their fires burn differently -- (her) is ignited by concentrated attention, and Sadge's sparks cover a lot of ground, in an ever-widening fire zone. In a relationship, both are social, but Sadge travels further afield. Sadge needs to keep moving, and feel free to follow life's lead. If (her) feels lonely and unappreciated by the busy (me), trouble ensues. Sadge's need for freedom conflicts with the (her) desire to be swept up in an epic romance. Sadge can be a loving partner, but can't be totally devoted in the way (her) wants. A player Sadge with the prideful (her) is a recipe for disaster. It works when a commitment is in place that both value, and the bond is kept fresh through shared experiences. When (her) trusts that Sadge will return, the bond deepens through the many comings and goings. Kids, holidays, animals, friends, parties -- the (her)-Sadge household is vibrantly colorful. As long as they keep laughing, and work through their differences, this pair has a good run.
=====i am back from the thing i search===== i am such a fool.. her is her horoscope, me is my horoscope. just simply search and match. i am so dumb and stupid, very easy get infected by people.. i get offend easily on how a people treat me.. red.. serious word and a very .. i dont know whether.. is there really no one reading here? it is good if yes.. i wanted to get another relationship, and my next target, it will be her.. i dont know whether that.. i got wrong choosing her? i start realize that actually distance is not a problem.. the most important is trusting each other and share our feel. share everything even people secret. i dont know about it.. in future who know who am i be with.. maybe i dont have future or i am single.. just try my best to own her. i feel.. there are something very weird.. i start to like her, i like the way she text me or care me. maybe it is friend. i hope to get well and close with her. i want to be another parts of person in her life. cincai la.. write what also no use in here. secret secret..
long time no contact with P already.. i wonder how is her right now.. quite worry and miss her, as friend ;)
recently, i found a sms partner, actually i want to write, i find a new sms partner but i dont feel that she is new to me. i know her from a long time, maybe she treat me cold a bit in past but this few day, we sms a lot. i never know that i will have another sms friend other than that "bird" @@ sometime, i am scare, will rei rei treat my sms like very cincai? even my ex doesnt really treat my sms seriously. she is still fine, chatting with her make me feel like i am not myself only. i never tell her that. previously i meet a net friend that make me feel actually i am not alone too but she go to penang already.. okay then, lets say about her. who is her? i dont know.. lol.. guess yourself by the way, i am reading her blog now, still not yet finish reading. i see that she have same incidence like me and she know what i feel. there are something same about us too but it is last time. not now. everyone have own life, and i have mine. mind your own business, i mean my business. there are not reason interrupting other people life. er.. i dont know.. she didnt reply my sms yet, sleeping in the car, on her way back home or busy talking or chatting with others. yesterday, dont know why i suddenly feel like . . . mean speechless.. she tell me that she is chatting with 14years old uncle.. LOL i thought she play those adopting relationship with kids again. actually it was her cousin/relative huh? i feel speechless because i dont want to interrupt them if she really have guy. i confirm that she is really available only i go after it. just like what i have say, i dont know how to woo a girl, how can i chase people? by time.. knowing each other more. so what is the reason i am writing here? ya.. see blog title.. in my life now, girl that i can go after dont have much.. got one in facebook, but, she dont really care a damn on me, so i think i will give up her. another one.. "own blog also need to secret:" cant say. merdeka!!! aiyo.. what day is this.. sien.. so many people must be having fun now.. i hope i can celebrate with people too.. gathering with friends or lovers are very nice.. i love to be happy, i like to smile and laugh.. another important things. love, is distance really a problem? not very far actually. transportation problem. lala i dont know. important is happy, thats all. i am insane now, think so far already.. whatever..
living in darkness a knight without princess.. i wonder.. what can a knight do? is there reason for him to survive? without princess? or.. is there any princess that is available for me?
bu zhi dao zuo me wo hui jue de hen xin tong, kan dao ni zhe yang wo ye bang bu dao. qi shi bu shi wo bang bu dao ba, wo jue de bu shu yao wo qu zuo de. zi i bu shu fu, jiu yao hui zhao gu, bu ran jiu ting hua, ren shuo de ni jiu yao ting. wo hen pa ru guo ke shou yan zhong le, ying wei zhen de hen xing ku. wo you xiang dao, mai ke sou yao shui gei ni, dan shi ni mama hui mai de. hen xiang yao ni hen jian kang de, bu xiang kan dao ni bu shu fu, wo gan jue hen nan guo. wo bu zhi dao wei shen me wo hui xie zhe ge dong xi ar, dan xin er yi, bie wu hui. dan shi ye bu hui you ren qu kan de. hao xiang di yi ci xie na li duo de pin yin. jin tian 16-08-2010 xing qi yi. yi ding bu ke yi you shi >< he duo dian shui, qiu qiu.. ru guo wo zhen de wei ni liu di yi ge yan lei jiu bu hao lo. shuo zhen de, kan dao ni you yi zhong na me bu zhen shi de guan xi, wo jue de hen ke lian. qi shi zhe ge shi bu zhen de, dan shi jiu liao hui fa sheng gan ching, zui hou de jie guo yi ding hen xing ku. bu zhi dao la, tao yan ni. mei shen me xiang xie le, qi shi wo xiang.. bu xie le dui ni zuo bu dao de shi, kan bu hao ni, kan zhe ni zhe wang, walao wo hui beh tahan. xin tong si liao
it is just like a nonsense, asking people to give a chance for this kind of thing. actually, if you know more about me already, slowly you will understand that i have reason behind this. actually, i am feeling so lonely.. it is already very obvious.. i dont have friend, dont have someone to talk with, dont have people to accompany.. me and my family cant get together, so we dont talk. in my life, i dont talk a lot too. i need love a lot. seriously. i am expecting someone to give me a chance if we can be together.
i am type that treat relationship very seriously, not playing or what. i hope to have a long lasting too [forever] to me, if you know a relationship wont be forever, why still you start? if got problem in relationship. then solve it, sure no problem ma, why want to say a lot..
[in the middle of dont know what to write liao]
feeling dizzy now.. selfish love, hate this a lot. whatever, dont say this ba.. sad only today actually want to write long de, but i keep jor, finish ba, no mood
very damn shitting bad me.. i am a very bad person, i am and it is real, dont ask me why, i am so damn reality too, maybe my feeling now is normal but i still think it is bad and not suppose to be so bad.
another thing, yes, i am bad but i am not 100% bad, if i want to be bad, i must be in complete 100% bad. darn it, i hate myself for not being so flirtatious, in real feeling type of it ba. say in real, but with other way to someone. can i do it? no.. i hate.. dislike.. argh!!
bad cannot complete bad, half half, go eat shit, training make perfect, if i want, train make me do, lets see how i change, confidences up up!!
i discuss one thing with my friend today about love and myself, now i know actually i am doing a very sohai thing. i am so damn useless and bad, i dont have to mind and care if i like. i like then i wont care anything, otherwise i dont like then it will be okay. things i dislike effect me a lot on how i think on someone, sien..
from now on, start to be random thinking, make everything come randomly, dont repeat my stupidity already.. i am an asshole leh >< lan diu dao yao si. okay la, just note something down only, will i make post after later? maybe.. see i got what i want to say or not. this post de reason is apologize, dont need forgive, i am stupid, i am wrong, i am bad, i am useless, i will change, i wont repeat, i will be good
today what i want to say de is.. topic is about.. annoying feel given to me by human.. it is myself that feeling annoying? lets see, start with SDO game chatting.. no, wait a minute.. tell you what annoys me or tell how make me annoy?
er.. chatting that write = = or oo or zz this is what related, make me feel annoy.. does this make you all annoy? example of chat
Tearious : hi how are you?
example : i am fine
Tearious : how is your day?
example : okay lo
(this is dont feel like chatting with you, only cincai care you) better dont chat, make me sad nia
example : hi
Tearious : yo! =D how are you?
example : fine
(is this people want to chat?) hate this thing happen everytime
Tearious : oi, today how?
example : = =?
(this is a friend, not those not unknown)
example : hi how are you today
Tearious : haih.. today work so sien..
example : oo..
(?? walao.. oo.. work sien.. oo) annoying.. hate
this is human? now only i know.. not everyone i know are like this, but most are like this.. sometime i really mad and dont care them + ignore them, some only come to say hi then when chat thing, they goes oo.. dont even care a damn.
actually sometime i really need and wants someone that can chat with me always, sms with me always, always let me share my stuff and talk my thing, share its stuff to me too, something like sharing our story and heart, feelings and more.. is this soulmate? things i write here no one will read or see de ba? i really hope and want someone that really care my everything, cheer me up always..
one more thing about stupidity and no brain useless reality eat shit me << girl that i like
kind enough
tomboy and playful, kind also
older than me, not mature but very small in heart, feel younger than me
young, cute, dont need to be pretty
age under 17- schooling, younger than me
now? pretty << know how to think
walao weh.. guy eye must sharp and know how to choose leng girl, leng and nice. type of girl i like before is listed up there. cincai say nia, still got more inner things. bad la me, start choosing girl liao, own also not very leng zai, sien hate angry dislike mad myself and everyone.. no good people liao de in this world, all make me upset, this blog is tell all people you all is making me not happy..
i dont care eh eh eh eh eh @@ this song, nice leh.. everytime read my blog remember listen and read >< today is a very very busy day, actually it is a very moody day too but whatever la.. i dont know whats into me recently.. today i have some talk with my friend about girls, he curious and ask, is girl very important? but why? got girl really nice? to me, i need a girl to accompany always, i want to talk everything with her, i am so lonely and empty. wahaha, my friend ask me, why use "kosong" to describe lonely, it feel very emptiness.. sometime like nothing, to me, it is really nothing. until now, i dont see any girl that will tell me anything about her, and i can tell anything to her. no and dont have. sharing is caring, jealous is caring, argue is caring. without this, it is not love.
i wonder, this world still got human that can let me be with or not, love her very much, wont ignore me, making me annoying and very love me. i need a girl to care and a girl to care me, mind about me and let me mind about her. lalala hate dislike.. hate those people that dont know what i feel and wants, hate those that make me mad when my mood is not good. hate.
love my current blogging feel, a very silent blog to my future girl >< will read de ma? maybe no =p argh.. sien de la think this, so fast dream ><
anything else miss liao forget want to write, hm.. yaya i remember now.. human selfish think own only, sometime do wrong thing only know ask for forgiveness, do wrong, do right back, sometime cannot return liao, then do again la, do a better one, dont fail anymore. sien sei, hate kena ignore, better dont choi me
a very nice song that i have share >< haih~ no one will appreciate and listen ba.. today after lunch, i get a type of strength from.. MYSELF of course LOL sorry god, it is myself, i feel that i always show a very weak me to anyone. i wont get someone to admire me if i always get so weak.
i want to find a good girl, i want to find a girl to love, a true love that wont make me feel alone and lonely, can always make me feel that she is on my side >< i know i will find one but not now.. forever love not easy to find la, if easy find also wont very good ba?
true love ar >< so sampat.. too lonely le ba, today only write this, i will become more stronger!!
everyone have its own life, everybody have own living and entertainment, i am so sleepy now.. actually i dont feel like writing blog already but whatever. i dont know what people think recently, they it is so damn selfish until they dont realize, obvious selfish and dont know actually it is upsetting me..
i say, no one will know what i feel "how you know i dont know your feel" dont act that you know me a lot. my heart is so empty, life is so lonely. i wont have anyone that can always on phone with me, online with me, on outing with me, on heart with me, wont have anymore..
sometime i dont get what my friend mean, sometime my friend dont get what i mean. my friend always say "you dont have girl can die?" not this meaning la..
i can die because of suffering, i really cant take my breath when i am having this type of treatment, it is stressing me. i am so damn unhappy and sad for that. love at this age will not last, fuck you!! hate this word. i wont agree this type of thing, so fucking shit. nothing is perfect, even god is not perfect if it exist of course. create SINS? wa lan neh.. tonight i want to accompany Carmen for her project stuff, hope she done it quick and early. pity for me, no apology or thanks. of course i dont expect it but do you think it is a bit stupid? nah.. it is very stupid..
sometime there are no choice but to eliminate.. i hate it so i destroy it, i angry it so i kill it. i love you, so love you
since that i dont know how to be a good boyfriend, i think i have no choice already.. i am not going to waste my time on her already. and i am not going to be in relationship anymore until i become perfect.
22june2010 i have decide, i dont want to let myself suffer in hurt anymore. since that i can make my own girlfriend listen to me, i will let go of her and set her free. i believe in future she will have a greater boyfriend or guy that can treat her well, it wont be me anymore, i choose to surrender..
living like this is very suffering, i dont know whats going onto her at all, and she is not feeling like telling me. relationship is just like.. we are having a net between us. there are still something that we cant share although we together for almost half year or one year.
i hope she will read this someday, to understand what i feel. i cant imagine if i am her, what does she feel. my feeling is so bad now.. she wont know what i feel, never know...
when i feel sad, she will only angry me if i show her i am sad now if i am angry, she wont ask why and she dont want to know the reason, she only will angry me everytime when i mood is down, she will only angry me back she got ask why but just ask, then, nothing..
bu gou guan xin wo
reason is i dont want to feel unhappy anymore i will treat her as cold as i can, let her let me go she wont feel any different of me, she will leave me with hatred she will think i am not good, so she will find a better one in future treat her cold without love, thats all, it will end
my prediction for normal people, they will think, whats wrong with you, you are not like always, but to her, she will angry me and leave me
who should i find.. walao :'( no one else.. i am very lonely, damn lonely, my only dear that i can choose to be with already dont want to accompany me. doesn't wanted to talk my stuff. i am really going to be crazy if i keep on being this way. being treat by cold way, no one cares or apa apa else la. no one care a damn, the only person i choose don't want me..wasai
online time, no chat with me sms time, dont want to sms my thing talk time, dont let me talk mood no good time, no caring word sad time, dont care a damn
when you are online, what i feel is "i am disturbing" or you are busy.. never have a true chat after being together. maybe we only chat when we are playing XDO.. dont treat you like you are online.
in sms.. slowly get influence by someone that treated you in same way. if you are going to reply "then?" "so?" this type of thing, i think i better dont sms you. a simple reply without thinking and caring.
hm.. i already dont know what i should do already.. i want to die, i am suffering, i cant breath, so? then? who cares.. so? i dont care a damn, then? what you want? end post
introduction, this girl call herself as little devil, because she is little and very naughty xD she is 15years old in this year and she born in 1995. she live in klang, study in hin hua high school, currently single in real life and not available in virtual life. good looking, perfect and great, just a bit immature, might change and improve in future after a true relationship. the reason that i am writing here is to "dot dot dot" her email for facebook and msn is winnie7337@hotmail.com, click here to get to her facebook. she tell me that she is a very clever girl, good in studying and much more, very pro in school. top ten in class. very clever in class, or her classmate are weak? she is sdo player also but very .. slow in improving, dont know why, less focus i guess.
things that good about her, dont care it is lying or what la, believe it if you want =D
good girl
clever girl
kind
nice to friend
good to family
never do bad thing
wont do something that people hate
tall
big
good looking
long hair
lala
got a bit meat
like to flirt with boy
honest
cute
pretty
beautifull
attractive
and much more..
did i miss something @@ nah, i am done ;)
things that i write here are 50% real and 50% fake
my dear have change a lot, and i am very happy about it. every outing is not a happy dating but the ending was great, every imperfect matters should have a way to solve, every problem that we have, i believe, we can overcome it. my unhappy outing turns out great in ending because we know our problem already. Carmen realize a lots of problem that she is have already and she is slowing on the path of perfect =) although she still have a long way to go but i will go with her together. by the way, i hope tonight i can solve one thing again, mean help Carmen get more nearer to perfect and greatest, it need time lalala by Elric
sometime i really have a great mood to write diary aka my daily notes.. i write it for carmen, and today actually my mood is very good too, i didnt even have the chance to share it yet, i already dont have mood. my daily thing? i didnt talk it with anyone.. just like i say previously, i dont need friend, i dont need anyone. i only live for myself, own the ability of having a car and a house, this is a common thing to-do in human life. of course dont forget > ENJOY life. dont know why i feel like actually i dont need anything like thing that call ****friend? why? having it make my life heavy and problematic, love = sweet and feel happy + good. what did i have? love = bitter - problem - and **** erm.. actually i already give up or tired of everything, i still will pain and cry? nah~ i think this thing wont happen anymore or i wont feel like this again.
natural feel + effect
hm.. will i ouch T_T or i miss you babe?
urm.. this time if i give up, i really wont be turned back
