永远直到生命的尽头，这是我的诺言，我是认真的，我不是在开玩笑

fei ren xie de dong xi




wo chen jing xi huan guo yi ge ren (zhong jia wen)
wo ye chen jing dui ta mei feel yi ci..
zai na ge shi hou
wo chen ren, wo zi ji you yi dian bian xin le (ying wei gen nv de qu le ye dian "clubbing")
wo hai ling dao ta ku
ling dao ta shou shang..
hen shang, hen shang..
wo bu shi ren
wo jing ran dui ta shuo
"wo men zuo hui peng you hao ma"
zhe shi hen shang ren de..
wo yi qian gen ben bu hui xiang
guo hou, wo zhen de hen hou hui..
ta mei fang qi guo wo, yi zi zui hui wo
dao zui hou, wo zhen de bei da dong le
guo hou, wo cheng nuo ta
yong yuan ai ta, bu hui li kai ta
bu hui zai pao qi ta
wo mei zuo dao
mei ci chao jia, wo hai shi yi ci yi ci de..
shuo.. wo yao fang qi le
mei ci dou shi ta qiu hui wo
shuo fang qi, shi wo ge ren de qi hua
wo shi mei xin de..
.
.
hou lai.. wo men zhen de jie shu le
bu shi wo pao qi ta.. shi ta pao qi wo
wo si dou bu hui xiang dao
ta hui pao qi wo de yi tian
wo wan quan gan jue dao wo yi qian shang guo ta de gan jue
suo yi, wo dui shang xin "hurt" zhe ge gan jue te bie fan gan, gen pa
wo bu hui qu shang ren, ye bu xi huan kan ren xin shang
gan jue hen bu hao shou
wo ge ren ye bian le hen hui ku
wo hen tao yan xin shang de gan jue!!
CHAO TAO YAN!! XIN SHANG BU HAO SHOU!!
wo zhen de bu xiang zai tong le, bu yao zai shang wo!! jing gao!!

ni you zai shang dao wo le
jue ding le zai yi qi jiu bu yao xiang na me duo le, zhe shi zi ji jue ding de, ru guo hui you yu wo men de guan xi, hai yao zai yi qi, jiu bie lang fei shi jian le. ni zhe yang gao shu wo, jiu zen ming le ni bu tai hui xiang. hen xiang hen xiang ku. ke neng ni bu ming bai. mei ge ren dou bu hui mei yi ge shi jian xiang zhe dui fang, ye bu hui shuo mei ci zai lian ruo zhe, mei ge ren dou hui you mang de shi jian.

wo ke yi da ying ni, yong yuan shi ni de, wo ke yi dui ni shuo chu yong yuan, wo dui zi ji hen you xin xing. wo yi ding bu hui bian xin. wo hui qu si, ru guo, wo zhen de bian xin. wo zhe yi shen, zi yao ai yi ge ren jiu hao. zi qian, wo ai cuo ren le, wo hen tong le.. wo dui xin shang te bie ming gan, suo yi wo hen hui xiang ren jia.
zi ji xin shang jiu hao le, bu yao tuo lei qi ta, zhe shi wo

wo tong le, liu le yan lei, si ben dan!! si ren tou rei rei!!

我没有信心 it is so down

i think i am going to put my heart on this girl now.. full heart on her.. love her with couragethis morning, i suddenly feel jealous and not happy.. i heard that, she is playing with a guy name xing ye.. oh my god, i am really a pro chi cu guy. but whatever.. past liao =( actually no big deal playing with guy, i am fine, but, at least i can get a confidence "example" that guy and me is nothing or just normal. seriously i am so worry and scare that she will be stolen. i only want to own her in life.

short post right now, going back to work, lunch time finish..

• ah wei going to quit his job, before that, please work for one more month (teach me how to drive)
• company staff, everyone is looking me so damn now, i am so sad

bye~

no one know my feel

seriously i wanted to cry.. no one know.. everyone thinks, actually, i am fine, always fine, but, actually i am very hurt already..
just finish having phone conversation with rei, i don't know whether that, she purpose, or.. i don't know how to describe.. i feel like.. why don't we end? because, i am so suffering and unhappy together with you. are you trying to tell me that you don't like me? seriously i am so hurt. i don't want to hear anything about it already. please don't say it anymore..

sometime, own need to know how to understand.. i am so stupid, what i care so much? it is myself that get hurt easily, what people care? this is her talking way. sometime i suspect do she love me? i don't want to tell a lot now.. no meaning..

yala, i am useless.. no people ask me to get hurt, so i hurt myself

i am so pain

reason behind truth love

for me, this is very important, to me it is, very hurting.. i get hurt very easily because my heart is so weak, i cried easily too but no one know. there are something i feel very sad, but this is my problem, not anybody problem. no one cares about it.
never think of forever in relationship, never think of future when you are in relationship. everything will become like ash if both separate. it is very hurting.. plus a lots of negative thing will happen.

• can be friend
• become enemy
• a lots of old memory
• many unsolved mistake (become worse(not understanding each another anymore)

this is the negative thing i know. my ex girlfriend change a lot, she is very different from past, becoming worse.. i am thinking.. will she change? or she is still same like last time.. how nice if she change a lots. the most regretful thing i ever have is, treat her not enough good. the most angriest thing she ever do to me is, abandon me. honestly, i always think of "do we have chance to be back together" seriously NO.. we are impossible to be together anymore. i love her too deep in past.. even now, still got little bit cant let go of her. but whatever.. it take time. i have a girlfriend already, so, just focus on her. although my feel to her is not enough strong, but i am happy together with her. if she can organize more time for our outing, it will be great too.

by the way, whats so hurting? i get hurt easily.. sometime, i get hurt without anyone know.. they are hurting me.. i just keep silent. you can obviously know by looking on my eye, it is watering. my ex girlfriend do that a lot to me. my current girlfriend hurt me too, but it is fine. what she hurt me?

• sometime she treat me very cold
• she don't talk a lot with me
• "does she do something just for me?"
• don't really cares about my inner part (she will always ask about me if she care)
• she don't easily get worried or jealous (because she don't care about it) or (confidence to me? i don't think so) sorry if i offend someone

it is hurting.. i don't want to list anymore..
feeling very sleepy and down.. i hate this feel..

Actually i don't like to watch movie in cinema..

Honestly, tell you guys.. Asking me to sitting straight inside the cinema, watching movie.. It is so killing me because it is so boring. To everyone information, my past dating life is always in cinema, watching movie.. Try to guess, how do i past my time? Actually i do something else while watching movie. As you all know, i am a very playful guy. Everything to me is toy, every situation to me is fun event, every job to me is game. Guess, what i play in cinema? It is secret of course, i will tell if you ask. But you have to read this post first. Dating, go to watch movie, hm.. I am not sure about this. By the way, i lose my first kiss in there too, will i take away someone first kiss in there too? LOL.. Don't tell anyone or her. I do this for love xD this is serious. Whatever, i hope to have strong lasting and sweet relationship.. How to build it? I don't know. I hope, i can get closer with my dear. Very very close one.

a feel post

after reading her blog, suddenly got feel writing..
i am wondering, what am i thinking of? my birthday is coming, although it on December but i feel it is very close already. what so big deal for my birthday? remember my wish? i hope to own a girlfriend on my birthday. i want to grant a wishes, then hug her and kiss her, told her, i wont leave her. my wish is "i hope i can have a nice relationship" without mistake and regret. current relationship, not enough strong and serious. obviously it is more like a ***** love to her.. i don't dare to tell a lot. i don't want to guess right about it. she is very dumb and quite, maybe she is a serious type of girl, that's why she don't sms lots rubbish with me. rubbish mean those playing and disturbing thing.

nothing is perfect, even parent is the same, relationship are same too. before owning rei.. if i am not mistaken, i really meet few fun one. can chat and talk crazily. a lots of thing to talk and chat. is this a nice match? or feel? confuse.. i have the answer now, feel is everything, even thought that is the answer, but there are still short of something. i am so worry about my birthday now, can i really have a serious happy and nice relationship. after 8th of December, i will know everything.

love kiss

ask my heart, true answer

no feel to write ><

Wo jin tian de gan shou (20 september de)
Jing tian wo yong pin yin lai xie blog. Mei you shen me te bie de yi shi. Zi shi xiang yong pin yin lai xie. Pin yin dui wo lai shuo bu hui hen nan ming. Qi shi, dui mou xie ren hui hen nan. Shei ran hui zhong wen, ye bu yi ding du de dong pin yin.
Zuo wan de xin qing hen hao, ying wei wo gen rei liao dao hen bu cuo. Zhong yu ke yi zuo dao gen ta zai dian hua liao tian le. Dui yi xie ren lai shuo, dian hua liao tian ying gai hen bu tong, dan shi dui wo lai shuo, zhe shi yi jian hen te bie de shi.
Zhe ge zhao shang, wo gan jue dao rei hen bu kai xin. Wo zi ji ye bei shou ying xiang le. Ta jiao wo gei ta len jing xia. Gei ta peng fu qing xu. Dao di fa sheng le shen me shi?
Zui jing, wo zai blog xie le yi xie fei dong xi. Wo da shuan ba ta delete gen yang diao. Xi wang rei mei kan dao qian, ba na xie dong xi xiao chu. You shi hou wo bu dong wo shi zai xiang xie shen me de.
Wo kai shi bu zai shuan wo dao di guo le duo shao ge gu du de zou mo le. Bu shuan ye shuan le ba. Di shi yi ge zou mo. Wo mei ci dou hen xiang zai li bai tian chu men. Wo hen bu xi huan liu zai jia li online.
Wo xian zai you le yi ge nv peng you. Wo jiao ta rei rei de. Ta shi wo de qian nv you de tong ban tong xue. Ye shi tong ban peng you. Wo shi chong wo qian nv you na li ren shi ta de. Kai shi ta gei wo de ying xiang shi yi ge bu tai hao de nv shen. Guo hou cai zhi dao yuan lai ta dou mei shen me de. Man hao xia. Gen ta yi qi kai xin, mei shen me de jiu hao le, bu yao xiang na me duo.

appreciate current relationship

when i think back my old time, i will feel very sad and down about it.. i have a lots of sweet moment that i didn't appreciate well.. i feel regret after losing it. there are so many thing to say and tell, but i cant say it. now, i have a girlfriend already, i hope i can appreciate her well, treat her very sweet and nice, hope to make her laugh and happy. i don't mind being a clown, the important is, she is happy. i want to have more time with her.. i hope she can arrange time.. dating.. one month one time.. please.. i am begging for this. i wish to have more time with her, i want to be with her and always go out with her. i hope to visit her every month too, meet after school. is it hard? meet at least once a month.. she don't have to worry about costing because i will be the one that pay for her. i am begging for more outing with her, i want to go out always with her, take a lots of photo and have a lots of sweet memories. i hope that she can come kl more often too, don't need me to go klang always..

honestly my feel to her is not very strong yet, so i need to build. i treat her not enough serious and tight.
dear rei, i love you ><
i need you, ai ni jiu hao

truth of the confesion

love with feel, touch with love

case 01 (night without greeting)
count tonight as the first night that she didn't greet me good night. honestly,  i am very mind about it, i dislike this kind of thing. reason because of tired? how tired are you? whatever, i don't want to argue this, just hope that tomorrow, after sleep, i will be fine. i hate listening to sorry now. if you know that you will say sorry, why you still want to do it? i hope, no next time, okay?

case 02 (admire or love)
my friend, tell me he have a feel that, actually.. i just admire her. don't really like her. when i think back, is this true? i start getting confuse about this. first, i love her in feel. in real life, it might be different. i can love her. can she love me? by the way, ignore this case and jump to the third one. it might have something about this. my feel to her is real, this is what i know.

case 03 (want to go or not)
i don't like to give people say that i got so many reason. yes, i wanted to meet ruii. so please dont say i make reason because i dont want to meet her. i will list out the problem for meeting her. it is very head aching.

1. take one day leave or half day? (friend recommend one day leave)
2. should i let my parent know that i am going to klang again? (it must be very silly)
3. going there, just for awhile. from kl, to klang, from klang, back to kl.. it is worth meeting you but it is waste in other thing (working salary, money and time)
4. from klang back to kl, the time when i am on my back.. it is time when everyone finish their work. surely it will have a lot people
5. okay then, the part 1-4 i can ignore, just went there to meet you.. i will spent a lots of money even if i dont eat or drink.. lets count.. 
• one day salary RM30 spend for taking leave
• RM5 fees for going ktm
• from KTM segambut to KTM klang ticket, pergi balik two way RM10
• from KTM klang to hin hua RM10
• from hin hua to KTM klang RM10
• RM5 fess for going back home from KTM segambut
6.  the problem is, i just go there AWHILE, why dont i save more time and money, meet next time, find a time that we can have more time

i hope you can understand.. so.. i ask you.. should i go this tuesday? do you want me to go this tuesday? or we will meet other day?

case 04 (problem communication)
i cant blame you only because i am having the same problem from myself to you. i cant make myself be normall to you, i scare you will dislike.. i want to get crazy and sampat with you, i want to get close with you too.. can i? and you are treating me a bit too cold and "gan ga" please dont..

love you - want to learn and communicate more with you

rei and yang LOVE

i remember the time when we know each other, it is on phone. if i am not mistaken, every time when we are on phone, we will talk with each other for a very long time. talk about some rubbish and funny thing. i wonder why our communication having some error "gan ga" is it because that we are in relationship now? i wanted to be very sampat with you, i wanted to be very nice and close to you. talk more than everything and have fun together. i want to hold your hand, hug you, and kiss you.

do you know that we lack of something in communicating ><
we need to get closer, but it is okay a.. we just be in relationship, sure it is hard to get close plus we didnt call each other for a long time already. i wish you call you every night, it will be sweet, if i can listen to your voice..

rei shi ge da sha gua, hen gan ga de da sha gua, dui wo qi qi guai guai bu gou zhi ran de.. ling dao wo ye bu zhi ran, ben ben de ni

i will make us stay close

love on AIR

射手男有个缺点也是优点的特质，那就是诚实！但是如果不看场合的诚实就有点讨人厌，偏偏生性自由海派的射手男，有时连得罪人都还觉得那不过是件小事。
可是爱面子重虚荣的狮子女，却会为射手男的太诚实抓狂，今天狮子女去买了件新衣服，还故意不告诉射手男说刷卡买的名牌货，想说这件Prada可用掉我半个月的薪水，刚好可以衬托我的高贵气质，在射手男的NBA球赛前晃来晃去，射手男终于在广告时间注意到了，开口说：咦！你的新衣服还真好看啊！正当狮子女要说出价钱时，射手男便说：便宜又大方，看起来有390的...价值喔！不过有点像我妈的风格！
此时已经火冒三丈的狮子女，除了河东狮吼外不会有其他反应的，所以奉劝射手男善意的谎言其实是必要的！

this is what i get when i ask for advise from 十二星座

very complicated, i dont understand even in pin yin form. but it is enough if my dear understand. i plan to call her tonight or later. i promise myself to be more brave, thats all. i am so sleepy and tired today. one day out to melaka, damn tiring..
nothing much to say today, why she always give me a type of worry feel..

i will regret if i dont appreciate now

i will try my best to maintain and appreciate this love. i hope to be your first and last. my purpose for being with you is giving you happiness. i love you, so i be with you, i want to give you the best of everything. i want to make you happy. everything that i do, it is for you. maybe i am stupid, but, i dont care, i will put all my heart in this relationship again. i am serious. i dont know what will happen in future. i just know that, we are together now, it is anything. i dont want to regret in future, i know i am a bit useless because i dont dare to do a lots of thing. i promise, i will give you all my love.
i never know that we will together someday, it is a very special relationship to me or us
love you

my stupidity to dear, i am childish

i am so damn sucking stupid, i sad for my own mistake without reason. i am going to blame other for my own mistake too. that's why horoscope say that i am not worth being believe. i am not a good person to be with, my personality is so damn negative.. i hate myself so much. being so playful. i don't want to be like this!! being dislike and hate by others!! this is not what i want!!
i want to be people that bring laughter,  i hate unhappiness and reality!! i like to smile and play, hate being serious and sad!!
i am making others feeling bad!! what am i? fuck!!

rei, wo zhen de hen ben, wo fa shi, wo yi hou dou bu hui zhe yang, zi hui ling ni kai xin

哭了 you make me worry

Sagittarius, people that wont admit own got wrong. all the wrong it have, sure it is other people fault. it is true, i use blaming always. i don't know what to do now. who to blame. who to ask. she is weird, since the time i went out with my friend. she don't tell me everything. i have a bad feeling about this. dear, don't make me worry. i hope that you can speak more with me, tell me everything. i am struggling my feel now, i want you, i need you. treat me like your dear. make me to be part in your life. replace me as the most important person in life. i promise that i will give you the best i can.

i don't want to say so much le =)

I CRY 哭了

my lovely REI

guess what happen..

i lovely rei

i have a new relationship already.. do you want to know who is her? CLICK HERE if you want to know who is her. she is from klang. age 15. name, Ruii =) born in year 1995.. >< actually, me and her, dont really know each other very long.. we never meet too..
wa.. so many thing want to write.. i just want to express, i dont really wanted to write a lot. i will write slowly then..
let's see.. i know Ruii from my ex, i feel that she is very interesting on first. she give me a feel that, she is not a good girl. mean, she like to lie boy, then very pervert too. lol, all this, i hear it from my ex. i dont really know her much. i dont get well with her too because i hate speechless people.
after breaking up, my life, my day, my living.. everything.. it is so empty and dark.. she is the one that bring me alive. accompany me always =) thanks dear ><

ni shuo, ni hen xi huan wo. wo ye hen xi huan ni. wo shi ren zhen de xi huan ni. jing wan, wo da shuan gen ni qing kou gao bai.. wo bu gan xie, wo ai ni, zi xie xi huan ni. hen pa, ni bu hui dui wo shuo.. dan shi ye bu yong jing de. ni ba wo xin de jie, da kai le, wo hen xi huan ni, wo shi shuo zhen de. wo hen xiang gen ni shuo hen duo dong xi, hen bu gan gen ni jiang..

be the one that i love, the one i love you.. 

self secret admire

can i make you believe me? honestly, i believe everything that you say. i obey what command you drop on me, i listen whatever you say. (you tell me that, your love position is not top). i want to know why.. to me, if you dont put your love in top position, it is impossible to have future. i dont want to explain so much, dislike it.. if you think it is not important, fine, i give up, hate so many explain.

yesterday, i meet a girl in sdo. her name is yuting if i am not mistaken. meet? nah.. dont really meet.. just knew someone there~ i forget that i got display my phone number in game. she call me = = walao.. i just like blur liao.. wtf, why suddenly got a cute girl sound call me? so it is fine then. btw.. i talk quite lots with her in this two day. i feel like, wow, i got a new talking partner already. and i want to F horoscope!! it is not accurate at all, it prove that i can be myself in front of them. honestly, i quite like her but i need a lot explain from her

next, i like another person that always accompany me too

i feel down because of you

am i expecting you to read my blog? is this the reason i write this? okay i try not to write for you. i hate expecting things that wont come true. you wont know my feeling. it is so late now, my current time is 2.05am and i should be sleeping now because tomorrow i got work. i dont feel like sleeping now because of you. last night, you treat me very cold, you make me sleep late but i wanted to sleep early..
it is a problem here, at first, you told me that your sis intro you a guy. you say it is fine, but i feel very.. jealous. yesterday, you cure my jealousy but today morning, you make me down again. i feel down for whole day. YOU TELL ME THAT THE GUY IS NOTHING BUT THEN, HE MAKE SO MANY TROUBLE TO YOU KNOW? i just dont want to care you anymore.. if you like that guy, then you go for it, it is fine. i wont die if i dont have you.
i am officially single and available now. searching for new love and relationship.. every girl that around me.. it is a chance. feel is by accept. some people will say "no feel how?" actually it see yourself "want to accept it or not" just dont care what i write or what i am trying to explain.
+ i dont know why i want to fan your problem so much if you dont put me in your heart
why dont i take you out from my heart, and i put it to other person? i hate you

heart stretching

today.. erm.. last night i said that i am going to sleep early already, but i sleep late.. tonight, i said it again, i must sleep early..today, her message come quite slow and simple.. (i get down easily by normal thing) i think i will have a short post for this. sibling, or family relationship, or some kind of relationship under relative or cousin.. getting well with them, and like them, it is normal right? i dont know.. i just get jealous without reason.. i hate myself..

maybe i am childish, or mind and thinking still not stable.. i get wu hui and offend very easily.. my mood can get down with small thing too. i dont like dont like dont like..so easy feel sad if got little bit problem.. jealous king.. i admit i am very easy get jealous..

sensitive and useless kid..

impatient guy..

just back home from eating ABC with friend at petaling jaya, walao.. rain leh..
actually i dont have much thing to write now but i want to write..
love only cure is love because you lose your love so you need to find it back. some wont need it anymore after losing but some no.. whatever.. losing patient again..

recently, and honestly.. there are not reason for me to hide anything here because this is my blog, and this is my world so i will write all my thing in blue word. i am wondering now, does she know that i am trying to get near her? i wanted to understand her more, i wanted to know her more.. or just say that i want to know her everything. fine then, the first night i didnt get her good night greeting or sms reply, it is just like.. damn it.. end already? it mean, our conversation finish? no more? scare.. i felt very upset and i sleep late.. okay then, after realizing that she give me a message at morning.. i am very relief until i sleep until very late.. middle case now.. i hope that i can have someone to guard.. mean, ask me to do something that it is good and i wont do even if i know

• bring water to work
• finish my lunch
• bring empty bottle back to home after work
• use heart to work, dont lazy
• quick a bit while doing thing
• work hard
• go to bath after work, dont bath late
• take care my face well
• save more money
• drink more water
• sleep early
• dont online so much

want someone to memorize me all this, or want her to tell me this. i can give hundred percent confirmation i will do. dont know why, i feel like, i only will listen what she ask me to do.. huh? weird.. i am a very stubborn guy, i dont listen to anyone and i dont do what people say.. i only will listen what she say. weird right.. she can control me. in horoscope, i can count as a hunter and she is a beast. horoscope explanation is very accurate and true.
=====hold on a second, searching for horoscope detail=====

Love Match - (her) and (me)

Fixed Fire and Mutable Fire

These two both have flaming passions, and a sense that life is an adventure to be celebrated. Dating involves play and possibly travel, with (me) drawing (her) outdoors and soon both are glowing with fresh fire in the cheeks. Falling in love makes them feel even more alive. The athletic Sadge stirs the lion out of laziness, and into the game of pleasure.

Trouble begins if (her) suspect that the Archer is an equal opportunity lover. (her) jealousy is a bad fit with the (me) pursuit of varied experience in romance. Their fires burn differently -- (her) is ignited by concentrated attention, and Sadge's sparks cover a lot of ground, in an ever-widening fire zone.
In a relationship, both are social, but Sadge travels further afield. Sadge needs to keep moving, and feel free to follow life's lead. If (her) feels lonely and unappreciated by the busy (me), trouble ensues. Sadge's need for freedom conflicts with the (her) desire to be swept up in an epic romance. Sadge can be a loving partner, but can't be totally devoted in the way (her) wants. A player Sadge with the prideful (her) is a recipe for disaster. It works when a commitment is in place that both value, and the bond is kept fresh through shared experiences. When (her) trusts that Sadge will return, the bond deepens through the many comings and goings. Kids, holidays, animals, friends, parties -- the (her)-Sadge household is vibrantly colorful. As long as they keep laughing, and work through their differences, this pair has a good run.

=====i am back from the thing i search=====
i am such a fool.. her is her horoscope, me is my horoscope. just simply search and match. i am so dumb and stupid, very easy get infected by people.. i get offend easily on how a people treat me..   red.. serious word and a very .. i dont know whether.. is there really no one reading here? it is good if yes.. i wanted to get another relationship, and my next target, it will be her.. i dont know whether that.. i got wrong choosing her? i start realize that actually distance is not a problem.. the most important is trusting each other and share our feel. share everything even people secret. i dont know about it.. in future who know who am i be with.. maybe i dont have future or i am single.. just try my best to own her. i feel.. there are something very weird.. i start to like her, i like the way she text me or care me. maybe it is friend. i hope to get well and close with her. i want to be another parts of person in her life. cincai la.. write what also no use in here. secret secret..

long time no contact with P already.. i wonder how is her right now.. quite worry and miss her, as friend ;)