low confidence

wo shi yi ge zi xin xing hen di de ren, wo bu hui xiang dao ren hui xi huan wo, you de hua dou shi jia de. wo dui zhe ge shi jie hen xian shi le, xi huan wo de ren yao gen wo hen da de xin xing, rang wo jue de ni de fu chu shi zhen de. wo ke neng ye yi dian ci dun ba ying wei dou bu hui zen yang cha bie zhen jia. wo hen xi wang ke yi de dao ren de ai, hen xi wang ke yi ai, dan shi, wo hen pa qu ai, wo bu gan le.. wo xiang yao yi ge zhen shi de gan ching, wo hen xiang ren guan xin gen kan dao wo de chuan zai. bu xiang zai ji mo, hen tao yan ji mo yi ge ren.. zui jing zhen de hen luan, wo hen xiang bu yao zai xiang le, dan shi mei ban fa.. bu dao wo bu xiang, mei ci yi ge ren, wo jiu hen ji mo le, ru guo you ren pei wo, wo jiu hui gen zhe ta, xi wang you ren pei huo zhe wo pei ren ye yi yang, tao yan. bu neng yi ge ren, hui si ma? bu zhi dao.

short post

i get a mistake after knowing the truth?

i wake up very early this morning just to check my phone see whether am i receiving any message from someone. unfortunately no.. so i went to online at 6am something if i am not mistaken.. last night i have meet a girl in sdo, she give me quite friendly de feel and she is very nice. she told me a lots of thing that make me feel weird and curious. i am weird, how come first time play facebook will know a lots of thing. this is what i weird at first. about her detail and info, i am super curious, things she say is different from what i observe..
morning, i suddenly think of something, yesterday she told me that she added me in msn already. "i saw her email in facebook, it is different from what she use to add me in msn" suddenly, i have two email of her. so then, i use her email to do some research, i found her original facebook account. thats so, i feel a bit sad already. i found her blog too, saw few picture of her, with her dear.. this is not right. just a bit upset about everything

i think i dont want le, what also dont want le, i feel so suffer

people nowadays, i really sad and hurt.. heart breaking

maybe all of this is not a coincidence, give me discover liao is also better than being lie. yesterday, in game, i know one girl from cheras, suddenly got interest with her because she is so nice and friendly. i dont know i should believe her or not so i didnt say anything yet.. i really thing i found one already.. but no.. i want to see you explain. no mood writing here

bo tong, shi hao de ma?

wo zai xiang, xian zai zhe yang, hen zhu gou le ma? zhe shi ni xiang de? wo shi zai xiang, yao bian de, gen jia hao, yi ci yi ci de hao. yao hen jie jing jie jing de. you xie ren shi bu hui ming bai mou xie dong xi. you xie dong xi yao shi qu cai hui zhen xi. hen duo dou hui bian dao tai ci le, too late. everything is too late until you know that it is important to cherish. never want a thing to be normal. a very short post. gan jue bu gou de.

live only myself

this morning, i wake up at 8.50am if i am not mistaken.. then i quickly go to brush my teeth and adjust my hair. every morning my hair will be like hell.. huh.. so it is fine.. then, when i want to change my clothe.. oh my god.. now i know all my shirt is very small.. i hate wearing small clothe, it feel uncomfortable.. all because i am poor, thats why. hate to be this. so then, this morning, when i go to work, the boss are like "something wrong" kan wo bu shun yan. this is true, i am not joking. i still havent counter his word, he is so damn fucking shit. next, boss wife, the way she treat me is making me more mad. looking down on me? what the fuck.. i am cursing them to die. the end~

another case.. if it is not necessary, i wont tell my happiness or unhappiness to people already, i hate getting fucking respond

wo hen xiang.. ni xiang ma? hai you qi ta..

1. gen ni yi qi
2. mei tian gen ni xin xi
3. mei tian jian dao ni
4. mei tian gen ni liao dian hua
5. mei tian kan dao ni de xin xi
6. mei tian ting dao ni dui wo shuo wo ai ni
7. hen xiang gen ni qu yue hui
8. hen xiang ban mei mei gei ni kan
9. hen xiang yao ni hen ai wo
10. hen xiang ni mei ci gao shu wo ni de dong xi
11. hen xiang liao jie ni gen duo
12. xiang yao qian ni shou
13. xiang yao bao zhe ni
14. xiang ba wo de ai chuan da gei ni
15. xiang qing ni
16. xiang gen ni qing
17. xiang yao gen ni kan dian ying
18. gen ni tan qing shuo ai
19. gen ni yi qi wan
20. mei ci gen ni yi qi shang wang wan game
21. mei tian gei ni gan wo qu shui
22. xiang yao ni mei ge wan shang dui wo shuo wan an
23. hen xiang mei tian gen ni jiang wo ai ni
24. xiang yao gen ni en en ai ai

jing tian, tu ran xiang dao zhe ge dong xi. xi wang bu hui shang dao ren. ye xi wang mei ren hui kan dao zhe li. wo zi shi xiang shuo chu wo zhen xin gan shou dao de hua. wo mei ci, shou dao yi xie duan de xin xi. zhe zhong xin xi, gen ben dou mei de hui fu de. ran hou. ru guo shi zai tan hua zhong shuo chu hao xiang zai xin xi de dong xi, gen ben dou bu hui you dong xi liao. zai xin xi li, wo gan jue dao, wo de dao de xin xi, bi peng you de xin xi gen jia len mo. zen yang shuo, wo dou shi yi ge hen te bie de ren. bu shi peng you, ye bu shi jia ren, wo shi ni te bie de ren. zuo me wo hui de dao zhe yang de dui dai de? zhe shi dui nan you de hui de xin xi ma? gan jue hen luan o.. yi ju hua shuo bu zhi dao hui shen me.. bu ran jiu bu hui ba.. bu hui wo xin xi, wo gen ben dou mei guan xi de, you xin, yi ding hui you dong xi hui. hao lei o 12.25am le.. zuo wan ci shui, jing tian ci shui.. yao si le lo.. hen duo dong xi hen fu zha, shuo le dou gai bu liao. qu shui lu..

愛のないソウル

zuo wan, you ren gao shu wo, zhe ge shi wo de bao ying..
wo jiu xiang dao.. si le.. zhe ci wo zhen de shi 苦 le..
talking thing about old will remind me a lots about my past. i am so regret on how i did last time. i seriously understand now, why i being hate by her. the deepest you love someone, the hatred you have is more strong.
chen jing you ren wei le wo fu chu le hen duo dong xi, yi qian wo jing ran yi dian dou mei gan shou dao. mei you bei da dong. shuo de mei cuo, wo shi yi ge hen ben de ren. but whatever. wo de bao ying, jiu shi, i wont get any love from the one i love now. huh? it is a very complicated love. not being care or love anymore, or, i cant feel? gosh.. again? zhe shi wo bao ying.. i dont want to love anymore after this.. serious

どのように好きですか？

i have no choices but, i need to hide something in this post, in case that i effect someone. actually yesterday i am going to write something about "what thing will you do when you in love with someone" things that you never know why you want to do. love someone, dont need a reason, do something for the one you love, no reason too. to me, last time i am very stupid, people do something to me, i never feel it. plus i never know how to love. so now, i believe that i have improve, but it is still not enough.

sometime, i really dont know..

[this post, i write yesterday, because computer got problem, so i didnt complete it, but i still publish it]

de kong mei shi zuo

hen xiang qu shui le dan shi bu xiang shui
ying gai shuo wo hen lei le, dan shi bu xiang shui
gan jue, hen gu dan, hen ji mo o..
zui duan de blog, bu xie le, wan an, xia xia

chen mi zhe zi ji

huhu, jin tian hao lei o.. mei ci qu klang dou bu hui you hao dong xi, guo ran shuo de mei cuo. si ren tou lao ban, wu duan duan sha shang lai klang, hai dao wo mei de gen bao bei yi qi jiu yi dian, hai dao wo gan zhe hui qu zuo gong. wo zui tao yan gei ren gan zhe zuo dong xi de. jin tian dou man shi bai de, qian bu dao bao bei de shou. bao bu dao ta, ye qing bu dao ta. shuo bu gan, bu shi bu gan.. shuo bu hao yi shi, mei ren hui xing wo. lao shi shuo ba, wo hen bu gan qu pong bao bei. wo gan jue hen bu hao. ah nick shuo guo, mei you bao, mei you qian shou, zhe yang shi qing lu?
wo yi jing dui zhe zhong gan jue hen len mo le, shen me gan jue? bu zhi dao leh. ru guo mei you ren dui wo yao jing yi dian, wo kan, wo duo mo xi huan ta, dou bu hui shuo qiang. jin tian, kan dao bao bei de xiao rong, gan jue hen kai xin. hen xi wang wo ke yi de dao gen qiang de you mo gan, gen jia hui shuo hua. zhe yang wo jiu ke yi kong zi dao bao bei. bu xiang zai ba bao bei fang de tai zi you le, xiang yao ta kao zai wo shen shang.
ti pa, wo zhen de ai shang le bao bei. mei you xuan zhe le. gan jue bu dao fu chu, gan jue bu dao fang chu. shen me dou gan jue bu dao. hao xiang zai zi ai zi lian de, xD zhen hao xiao de wo. ben si le. wo xian zai hen lei, wo shen me dou bu xiang zai xiang le. wo zai chi zhe fan. gang hui lai, dou hen jiu le, hen xiang zhao shui. deng xia jiu qu shui le.
ping chang dou hui yong ying wen xie blog de wo, jing ran yong pin yin.. jin tian de xie blog mood ba. mei xin qing yong ying wen xie blog. wo zui ai wan le. shen me dou yao wan cai ke yi. lian zuo gong dou yao wan. wo bu shi bu ren zhen. wo tao yan ren zhen. dong xi ke yi zuo, dan shi, dou yao wan. bu kai xin ye yao wan, kai xin ye yao wan. na bu shi hen hao ma? hen duo dong xi dou shi zi ji zhao lai de, hen duo bu kai xin dou shi zi ji zi zuo de. quan shi jie zui ben de jiu shi wo.
gan jue zui ling wo shi bai de jiu shi. wo bu neng gai bian yi ge ren. gai bian bu liao ta de que dian. gai bian yi ge ren de que dian, erm, que dian jiu shi bu hao de xi guan. wo de yi shi, da gai shi zhe yang. gang huan le keyboard. yi dian bu xi guan, dan shi dou man hao yong xia de. ji xu xie.. wo yi jing wang le hen duo dong xi lu.. zuo ren ye kai xin duo le, kai xin de shi, wang le bu kai xin de dong xi. quan dou shi bao bei de gong lao. ta kai jie le wo hen duo. ta dou man hao. wo bao bei hor, ta shi man ben de ren lai de. zuo ta de dada, zhen de shi hen qi o.
bao bei, dui wo lai shuo, shi yi ge hao nv shen. hen xi huan ta o.. dan shi =) zai mou xie wen ti shang, chu le xie zhuang kuang. dou shi jie jue de shi hou lu. wo zui tao yan ye man de nv shen, tao yan ba dao de nv shen, tao yan bu xing wo de ren. bao bei dou bu shi wo tao yan na zhong. ta hen hao, ta zui hao. ke neng shi wo wen ti huo zhe shen me ba. wo bu neng zai yun lai dong xi le, yun lai zi ji hao le. wo que shao yi zhong dong xi. ling dao bao bei bu hui zen me dui wo, erm, zen yang shuo. jiu hao xiang qing lv, wu xiang liao zi ji de dong xi, wu xiang fa biao zi ji de dong xi. bu hui shuo mei yi wen. wo hen xian mu ah nick gen ta nv peng you, ah nick zuo gong de shi, ke yi gen ta nv peng you yi qi tan. xi huan yi ge ren jiu shi hen xiang gen ta fen xiang suo you dong xi ba. ran hou, hen xiang qu zhi dao gen li jie. peng you ye yi yang. wo gen bao bei yi qi kai xin de dong xi, wo hui gen ah wen feng xiang gen shuo. ta ye hui gei wo yi wen, bu hui shuo o, zhe yang ar?
wo zhe ge bai liu yao qing jia, shui yao gen wo chu qu? bu xiang liu zai jia. zuo gong ya li zhen de hen da le, mei de shu jie mei guan xi. mei de fang song jiu shi da wen ti.

hai you, mou xie dong xi
wo men shi ren lei, ru guo you ren ling dao zi ji fan gan, hen zi ran jiu hui tao li ta
ru guo ting dao mou xie fan gan ge, hen zi ran hui bu ting
dui peng you zuo le fan gan de dong xi, peng you hen zi ran hui tao li
dui shui ye yi yang, wo gan jue fan gan, huo zhe you dong xi bu xiang zai yu dao, ye hui tao li

jing tian xie de blog, bu hui you ren kan de dong le, xie xie, wo xie le hen duo dong xi lu.. shuang, chi hao fan le lu.. qu chong liang

love short story

06-09-2010 (first day of love) my lovely rei confess on me because she scare that i will be stolen <3

07-09-2010 my night confession.. so nervous.. >< i want to tell you, i love you

08-09-2010 i promise to be her that i will be her!!

09-09-2010 plan to talk with her tonight before sleep.. wish to tell her.. my feel (cant get to call her) sad

10-09-2010 hope to see her in webcam ><

11-09-2010 want to call her tonight, promise myself to be brave

12-09-2010 a day that i worry about out meet, another promise, i will meet her on this tuesday

13-09-2010 my mood is very bad today, i want to call her, i want to talk with her

14-09-2010 meet dear today, love her, but not enough strong

15-09-2010 must listen to her and sleep early today, everyday

16-09-2010 i talk a lot with dear at phone, a lot, but not very

17-09-2010 rei not very happy and fan, yang hope she everyday can fine

18-09-2010 want to tell and teach rei how to comfort and help people (we talk phone until very late^^)

19-09-2010 sms very less but very nice too, cookies and chocolate, i will make for you

20-09-2010 talk phone with her again, hehe

21-09-2010 tell her that, if my life restart, i will choose her

22-09-2010 she study so hard until not enough sleep, talk phone with her until 1am ><"

23-09-2010 talk phone until very late at night with rei >< sweet

24-09-2010 got little mistake about her and ex but it is fine already

25-09-2010 a very busy day, didnt sms rei a lot =(

26-09-2010 tell her something, hm.. try ba.. my old thing (say about i love you now) old thing next time 

27-09-2010 a very worse night 

28-09-2010 i want to cry 

29-09-2010 i make my dear cry.. =( 

30-09-2010 i love you i love you i love you (treat you seriously) 

01-10-2010 super weird rei da

02-10-2010 angry worry, phone expired cant contact me.

03-10-2010 sad, didnt tell me anything, hate you!!

04-10-2010 we sing song at night >< sweet~


05-10-2010 cant sms or call rei liao =(

06-10-2010 rei no sms me a lot =(

Elric Tearious Unsatisfactory (facebook)

speechless? actually, i don't know what to say anymore, if you are really speechless, i think there is really problem between you or us. maybe i don't know how to manage a relationship, that's true. i am wondering, why cant i make her friend accept me or like me? is it because of my ex? spreading my bad thing?
comment here

i cant promise you to go to bath early, er.. reason, i don't feel like want to bath yet, things you say cant move me. i am confusing and disliking those speechless attitude, actually there are so many thing that you can say. keeping continue being like this, really killing my mood and feel. i might give up someday, seriously
comment here

by the way, i am going to bath now, maybe writing this is my night homework i guess, unsatisfied with my current relationship and status, i am so damn unhappy with this. but whatever, i don't have the right, or wrong plus it is same to her. today i get a very hard feel. i don't think you will be how if i give up. or yo...u want me to treat you like the way you treat me? you will hate me, this is sure. be right back..
comment here

just come back, damn stupid internet browser having error, i think this must be that anti virus fault. i went out to buy a reload card for my girlfriend, her phone out of credit. i am still very unsatisfied, is everything about you, or from you, are not necessary letting me know? anything are not necessary telling me?
comment here

i wonder.. does she really go through my post? maybe we're really in love with each other. you feel it is no problem, nothing wrong in our relationship? i told you everything, everything, not anything. you told me nothing, i feel like i don't know you much now. how many time i explain, you still cant get what i mean about letting me know your status.
comment here

want to cry already, but, am i suppose to do so? i don't know. so fine then. she don't really get where is the problem is. i mind that i know something suddenly because, if i don't ask, i will never know. sometime even if i ask, she wont tell, so what? sharing me your thing, not necessary to do that? so, you are asleep now..
comment here

going to sleep at 3am later, so excited playing dragonica, my last post for today. who having problem here? people that should have problem is me, not you, so what you think so much? or it is actually, you got problem, so you infect me? is it? i don't know. dont disturb me, i want to play dragonica =D good night 3am sleep later
comment here

wake up very early today, wake up by [ Daii Ruii ] i wonder how is her now, worry.
zuo wan de shi, mei guan xi, wo hui xiang de, bu xiao xin shui le, wo ye xiang ni zao shui. wen ti bu shi zhe ge, wo ye bu hui jie shi. ren zhen wen xi kao shi jiu dui le. wo bu shi ge ye man ba dao nan you ;)
comment here

offline, get ready to work now, going to buy redbull later, or i am really going to collapse.
problem : actually what i want is, i wanted to know more about you, hope that you will tell me anything or thing about you. everything is necessary to let me know, plus i tell you everything, right? off to work now, bye
comment here

just back home from lunch, didnt bring bottle to work, no water drink >.<" actually i want to buy kopi + milo but ah nick ah wei didnt come to work, so jia lat. today [ Daii Ruii ] sms me at morning, i think got 3 or 4 already =) i feel like, she is trying to sms me only, still dont really get what i mean. my phone will be active tomorrow
comment here

my loving feel

wo dui ai zui pa de shi. zui zhen shi de shi

i believe in love, same as i believe i will lost my love

[wo xiang xing ai, tong yang de wo ye xiang xing hui shi qu ai]

in this world, guy that is truthful got how much?

[zai zhe ge shi jie, zhen xin nan de you ji duo?]

know each other, loving each other, suspecting each other

[ren shi, xiang ai, xiang fang hua yi]

break and together back, both dislike

[fen shou, he hao, xiang fan ge tao yan]

 only want to love like normal

[zi xiang ai dao zi ran]

i scare in love, same to i scare i cant get love

[wo pa ai, tong yang dou pa de bu dao ai]

in this world, girl that is straight, got how much?

[zai zhe ge shi jie, zhen xin nv you, you ji duo?]

 together, live together, both wasting time

[yi qi, zhu yi qi, wu xiang lang fei shi jian]

i am bored with fate and destiny

[men le yuan fen gen ming yun]

dont want to simply love

[bu xiang ai dao hen cincai]

it is better that we dont know each other

[zui hao shi chong lai bu ren shi dui fang]

dont want to give you think

[bu xiang yi zi ling ni kao lv]

dont need to know each other is who

[bu shu yao zhi dao dui fang shi shui]

dont want to let you cry

[bu xiang ling ni sha lei]

 

100 question, can you do to your love one?

hey, checkout something interesting here, i copied from my girlfriend blog, she pasted this from her friend blog i guess, love this question so much, by the way, it is in chinese word. i answer it with english xD hope she see that.

1.把fb密码告诉她。
i will let her know of course, why must i hide.

2.银行的密码告诉她。
i will scare my account with her, share even my money.

3.冬天允许她把手放到你身体里。
i will give her warm, always.

4.可以让她随时翻你手机。
i will let her hold my friend when we are dating.

5.行街时，要拉着她的手，不许放。
i will hold her hand, wont let her go, that's my promise.

6.不许先挂她电话。
okay, i will let her cut my phone.

7.不许对她大声说话。
i will not, sorry for that previous case ><

8.要给她介绍你所有的朋友。
hehe, ah nick, ah wei, and other net friend.

9. 陪她逛街时不能说累。
okay, no problem ;)

10.把她的的相片放在手机屏幕上。
haha xD so nice

11.不说她傻。
zheng chang de bao bei

12.不说她笨。
chong ming de dear

13.不伤她心。
sure wont!!

14.不欺负她。
hen nan de leh >< hao ba..

15.不凶她。
zhe shi yi ding de

16.不对她摔东西。
yi ding bu hui

17.要会逗她笑。
wo hui de

18.会说甜言蜜语。
zai xue le ><

19.要说到做到。
zhe shi yi ding de

20. 有事随叫随到。
jing liang, chong kl dou hui lai

21.允许她掏你口袋。
mei wen ti ar

22.要鼓励她打扮。
zai da gai zhao le lo

23.不许说她丑。
wo de rei, yuan ben jiu hen hao kan

24.不许说她胖。
bu hui ba, man okay de.

25.陪她看电视。
zhe yao wen ta lo

26.不许嫌她手艺不好（再难吃也要夸好）。
hao chi hao chi

27.大节小节都要送礼物给她（不在乎礼物的贵贱）。
mei ci dou song gei ni ><

28.无论她什么时候 饿，都要陪她吃饭。
wei lai bu chang hui ni

29.吵架一定是你先道歉。
of course

30.每年去不同的地方（没钱就去不同的公园）。
haha!! yi ding

31.发现美女时，不许斜眼。
wo dou bu kan de, wo kan dear er yi

32.她撒娇的时候你要配合。
gei ta zuo da ><

33.要陪她一起疯。
wo yuan ben shi feng de

34.行街累了，就背她。
bei dao ma? ><

35.要学会做饭给她吃。
wo xiang xue liao li le, re ben de

36.每天要打电话给她。
xi guan le..

37.她打电来时一定要接。
ken ding

38.不叫她做不愿意的事。
wo bu bi ta de, wo wei xie ta xD mei you la, ta bu yuan yi, zen me shuo dou bu zuo de

39.她煮饭时，要陪她一起。
yi qi zai chu fang

40.答应她的事不能讨价还价。
bu hui bu hui

41.有快乐时要和她一起分享。
yi ding lo

42.有痛苦时要和 她一起分担。
ni de jiu gei wo, wo de jiu gei wo

43.为她，做个大男人。
haha xD hao

44.不许和前女朋友联系。
hao!!

45.她生病时要监督她吃药。
sha le ta ru guo wan fan buo

46.为她洗脚。
 hao lo

47. 要陪她散步。
yi ding hui de

48.要相信她。
hao de

mei nai xin xie le, quan da ying ni jiu shi le ><

49.不许拿她和前女友比较。
50.不许骗她。
51.不许说她声音难听。
52.不 许酒后****。
53.不可以打她。
54.抱她在怀里。
55.收到她短信马上回。
56.要学会自己检讨。
57. 最好不要抽烟、喝酒。
58.在她失落时，你要安慰她。
59.她哭时，你要把她紧紧地抱着。
60.要给她暖被窝。
61. 给她梳头发。
62.不许说她抹指甲油。
63.她生日时，必须第一个时间给她浪漫和惊喜。
64.在你朋友面前给足面子她。
65. 散步时要走在她的左侧。
67.无论一起多久都要保持新鲜。
68.要接受她的过去。
69.晚上要抱着她睡。
70.在她睡醒 时，给她一个吻。
71.不能对任何一个人都比她好。
72.危险的事不能让她做。
73.下雨时，要为她打伞。
74.夏天时 给她擦汗。
75.陪她一起运动。
76.行街时要为她拿东西。
77.不给她吃一些对她身体不好的东西。
78.记得她的爱 好。
79.乘车时要抱着她。
80.去的时候记得带她。
81.她去别的地方时，你要记得随时打电话给她，让她小心。
82. 要接她上课下课（上、下班）。
83.晚上不要把手机给关了。
84.她喜欢什么就给买什么。
85.把她照顾好，不让她生病。
86. 为她修指甲。
87.她在身边时不能接女的电话。
89.每天都吻她几次。
90.不把别人气发在她身上。
91.上网时，第 一时间看她在不在。
92.不和别人的女仔有关系。
93.不做对不起她的事。
94.要给她安全感。
95.每隔一段时间就买 一束花给她。
96.把她的号码放在第一位。
97.过马路时一定要把她牵紧。
98.她不舒服时要陪在她身边。
99.对她要 一心一意。
100.要让她做最幸福的女人。



><" 夸张..

today, you are so weird (actually you are normal)

i don't know how to say about you, maybe it is my fault. i am the one that causing a lots of problem..
it must be another failure of love and relationship. i chosen the wrong person to love? i start to blame something about. i admit, i have fail a relationship. i blame everything to myself because i don't know how to manage love and relationship well. this time, might be another problem, of myself. i hate myself so much.. how to grab a girl heart? i look myself too high already, i think i am so great in handling already.. but no.. confidence, is, fake..

永远直到生命的尽头，这是我的诺言，我是认真的，我不是在开玩笑

fei ren xie de dong xi




wo chen jing xi huan guo yi ge ren (zhong jia wen)
wo ye chen jing dui ta mei feel yi ci..
zai na ge shi hou
wo chen ren, wo zi ji you yi dian bian xin le (ying wei gen nv de qu le ye dian "clubbing")
wo hai ling dao ta ku
ling dao ta shou shang..
hen shang, hen shang..
wo bu shi ren
wo jing ran dui ta shuo
"wo men zuo hui peng you hao ma"
zhe shi hen shang ren de..
wo yi qian gen ben bu hui xiang
guo hou, wo zhen de hen hou hui..
ta mei fang qi guo wo, yi zi zui hui wo
dao zui hou, wo zhen de bei da dong le
guo hou, wo cheng nuo ta
yong yuan ai ta, bu hui li kai ta
bu hui zai pao qi ta
wo mei zuo dao
mei ci chao jia, wo hai shi yi ci yi ci de..
shuo.. wo yao fang qi le
mei ci dou shi ta qiu hui wo
shuo fang qi, shi wo ge ren de qi hua
wo shi mei xin de..
.
.
hou lai.. wo men zhen de jie shu le
bu shi wo pao qi ta.. shi ta pao qi wo
wo si dou bu hui xiang dao
ta hui pao qi wo de yi tian
wo wan quan gan jue dao wo yi qian shang guo ta de gan jue
suo yi, wo dui shang xin "hurt" zhe ge gan jue te bie fan gan, gen pa
wo bu hui qu shang ren, ye bu xi huan kan ren xin shang
gan jue hen bu hao shou
wo ge ren ye bian le hen hui ku
wo hen tao yan xin shang de gan jue!!
CHAO TAO YAN!! XIN SHANG BU HAO SHOU!!
wo zhen de bu xiang zai tong le, bu yao zai shang wo!! jing gao!!

ni you zai shang dao wo le
jue ding le zai yi qi jiu bu yao xiang na me duo le, zhe shi zi ji jue ding de, ru guo hui you yu wo men de guan xi, hai yao zai yi qi, jiu bie lang fei shi jian le. ni zhe yang gao shu wo, jiu zen ming le ni bu tai hui xiang. hen xiang hen xiang ku. ke neng ni bu ming bai. mei ge ren dou bu hui mei yi ge shi jian xiang zhe dui fang, ye bu hui shuo mei ci zai lian ruo zhe, mei ge ren dou hui you mang de shi jian.

wo ke yi da ying ni, yong yuan shi ni de, wo ke yi dui ni shuo chu yong yuan, wo dui zi ji hen you xin xing. wo yi ding bu hui bian xin. wo hui qu si, ru guo, wo zhen de bian xin. wo zhe yi shen, zi yao ai yi ge ren jiu hao. zi qian, wo ai cuo ren le, wo hen tong le.. wo dui xin shang te bie ming gan, suo yi wo hen hui xiang ren jia.
zi ji xin shang jiu hao le, bu yao tuo lei qi ta, zhe shi wo

wo tong le, liu le yan lei, si ben dan!! si ren tou rei rei!!

我没有信心 it is so down

i think i am going to put my heart on this girl now.. full heart on her.. love her with couragethis morning, i suddenly feel jealous and not happy.. i heard that, she is playing with a guy name xing ye.. oh my god, i am really a pro chi cu guy. but whatever.. past liao =( actually no big deal playing with guy, i am fine, but, at least i can get a confidence "example" that guy and me is nothing or just normal. seriously i am so worry and scare that she will be stolen. i only want to own her in life.

short post right now, going back to work, lunch time finish..

• ah wei going to quit his job, before that, please work for one more month (teach me how to drive)
• company staff, everyone is looking me so damn now, i am so sad

bye~

no one know my feel

seriously i wanted to cry.. no one know.. everyone thinks, actually, i am fine, always fine, but, actually i am very hurt already..
just finish having phone conversation with rei, i don't know whether that, she purpose, or.. i don't know how to describe.. i feel like.. why don't we end? because, i am so suffering and unhappy together with you. are you trying to tell me that you don't like me? seriously i am so hurt. i don't want to hear anything about it already. please don't say it anymore..

sometime, own need to know how to understand.. i am so stupid, what i care so much? it is myself that get hurt easily, what people care? this is her talking way. sometime i suspect do she love me? i don't want to tell a lot now.. no meaning..

yala, i am useless.. no people ask me to get hurt, so i hurt myself

i am so pain

reason behind truth love

for me, this is very important, to me it is, very hurting.. i get hurt very easily because my heart is so weak, i cried easily too but no one know. there are something i feel very sad, but this is my problem, not anybody problem. no one cares about it.
never think of forever in relationship, never think of future when you are in relationship. everything will become like ash if both separate. it is very hurting.. plus a lots of negative thing will happen.

• can be friend
• become enemy
• a lots of old memory
• many unsolved mistake (become worse(not understanding each another anymore)

this is the negative thing i know. my ex girlfriend change a lot, she is very different from past, becoming worse.. i am thinking.. will she change? or she is still same like last time.. how nice if she change a lots. the most regretful thing i ever have is, treat her not enough good. the most angriest thing she ever do to me is, abandon me. honestly, i always think of "do we have chance to be back together" seriously NO.. we are impossible to be together anymore. i love her too deep in past.. even now, still got little bit cant let go of her. but whatever.. it take time. i have a girlfriend already, so, just focus on her. although my feel to her is not enough strong, but i am happy together with her. if she can organize more time for our outing, it will be great too.

by the way, whats so hurting? i get hurt easily.. sometime, i get hurt without anyone know.. they are hurting me.. i just keep silent. you can obviously know by looking on my eye, it is watering. my ex girlfriend do that a lot to me. my current girlfriend hurt me too, but it is fine. what she hurt me?

• sometime she treat me very cold
• she don't talk a lot with me
• "does she do something just for me?"
• don't really cares about my inner part (she will always ask about me if she care)
• she don't easily get worried or jealous (because she don't care about it) or (confidence to me? i don't think so) sorry if i offend someone

it is hurting.. i don't want to list anymore..
feeling very sleepy and down.. i hate this feel..

Actually i don't like to watch movie in cinema..

Honestly, tell you guys.. Asking me to sitting straight inside the cinema, watching movie.. It is so killing me because it is so boring. To everyone information, my past dating life is always in cinema, watching movie.. Try to guess, how do i past my time? Actually i do something else while watching movie. As you all know, i am a very playful guy. Everything to me is toy, every situation to me is fun event, every job to me is game. Guess, what i play in cinema? It is secret of course, i will tell if you ask. But you have to read this post first. Dating, go to watch movie, hm.. I am not sure about this. By the way, i lose my first kiss in there too, will i take away someone first kiss in there too? LOL.. Don't tell anyone or her. I do this for love xD this is serious. Whatever, i hope to have strong lasting and sweet relationship.. How to build it? I don't know. I hope, i can get closer with my dear. Very very close one.

a feel post

after reading her blog, suddenly got feel writing..
i am wondering, what am i thinking of? my birthday is coming, although it on December but i feel it is very close already. what so big deal for my birthday? remember my wish? i hope to own a girlfriend on my birthday. i want to grant a wishes, then hug her and kiss her, told her, i wont leave her. my wish is "i hope i can have a nice relationship" without mistake and regret. current relationship, not enough strong and serious. obviously it is more like a ***** love to her.. i don't dare to tell a lot. i don't want to guess right about it. she is very dumb and quite, maybe she is a serious type of girl, that's why she don't sms lots rubbish with me. rubbish mean those playing and disturbing thing.

nothing is perfect, even parent is the same, relationship are same too. before owning rei.. if i am not mistaken, i really meet few fun one. can chat and talk crazily. a lots of thing to talk and chat. is this a nice match? or feel? confuse.. i have the answer now, feel is everything, even thought that is the answer, but there are still short of something. i am so worry about my birthday now, can i really have a serious happy and nice relationship. after 8th of December, i will know everything.

love kiss

ask my heart, true answer

no feel to write ><

Wo jin tian de gan shou (20 september de)
Jing tian wo yong pin yin lai xie blog. Mei you shen me te bie de yi shi. Zi shi xiang yong pin yin lai xie. Pin yin dui wo lai shuo bu hui hen nan ming. Qi shi, dui mou xie ren hui hen nan. Shei ran hui zhong wen, ye bu yi ding du de dong pin yin.
Zuo wan de xin qing hen hao, ying wei wo gen rei liao dao hen bu cuo. Zhong yu ke yi zuo dao gen ta zai dian hua liao tian le. Dui yi xie ren lai shuo, dian hua liao tian ying gai hen bu tong, dan shi dui wo lai shuo, zhe shi yi jian hen te bie de shi.
Zhe ge zhao shang, wo gan jue dao rei hen bu kai xin. Wo zi ji ye bei shou ying xiang le. Ta jiao wo gei ta len jing xia. Gei ta peng fu qing xu. Dao di fa sheng le shen me shi?
Zui jing, wo zai blog xie le yi xie fei dong xi. Wo da shuan ba ta delete gen yang diao. Xi wang rei mei kan dao qian, ba na xie dong xi xiao chu. You shi hou wo bu dong wo shi zai xiang xie shen me de.
Wo kai shi bu zai shuan wo dao di guo le duo shao ge gu du de zou mo le. Bu shuan ye shuan le ba. Di shi yi ge zou mo. Wo mei ci dou hen xiang zai li bai tian chu men. Wo hen bu xi huan liu zai jia li online.
Wo xian zai you le yi ge nv peng you. Wo jiao ta rei rei de. Ta shi wo de qian nv you de tong ban tong xue. Ye shi tong ban peng you. Wo shi chong wo qian nv you na li ren shi ta de. Kai shi ta gei wo de ying xiang shi yi ge bu tai hao de nv shen. Guo hou cai zhi dao yuan lai ta dou mei shen me de. Man hao xia. Gen ta yi qi kai xin, mei shen me de jiu hao le, bu yao xiang na me duo.

appreciate current relationship

when i think back my old time, i will feel very sad and down about it.. i have a lots of sweet moment that i didn't appreciate well.. i feel regret after losing it. there are so many thing to say and tell, but i cant say it. now, i have a girlfriend already, i hope i can appreciate her well, treat her very sweet and nice, hope to make her laugh and happy. i don't mind being a clown, the important is, she is happy. i want to have more time with her.. i hope she can arrange time.. dating.. one month one time.. please.. i am begging for this. i wish to have more time with her, i want to be with her and always go out with her. i hope to visit her every month too, meet after school. is it hard? meet at least once a month.. she don't have to worry about costing because i will be the one that pay for her. i am begging for more outing with her, i want to go out always with her, take a lots of photo and have a lots of sweet memories. i hope that she can come kl more often too, don't need me to go klang always..

honestly my feel to her is not very strong yet, so i need to build. i treat her not enough serious and tight.
dear rei, i love you ><
i need you, ai ni jiu hao

truth of the confesion

love with feel, touch with love

case 01 (night without greeting)
count tonight as the first night that she didn't greet me good night. honestly,  i am very mind about it, i dislike this kind of thing. reason because of tired? how tired are you? whatever, i don't want to argue this, just hope that tomorrow, after sleep, i will be fine. i hate listening to sorry now. if you know that you will say sorry, why you still want to do it? i hope, no next time, okay?

case 02 (admire or love)
my friend, tell me he have a feel that, actually.. i just admire her. don't really like her. when i think back, is this true? i start getting confuse about this. first, i love her in feel. in real life, it might be different. i can love her. can she love me? by the way, ignore this case and jump to the third one. it might have something about this. my feel to her is real, this is what i know.

case 03 (want to go or not)
i don't like to give people say that i got so many reason. yes, i wanted to meet ruii. so please dont say i make reason because i dont want to meet her. i will list out the problem for meeting her. it is very head aching.

1. take one day leave or half day? (friend recommend one day leave)
2. should i let my parent know that i am going to klang again? (it must be very silly)
3. going there, just for awhile. from kl, to klang, from klang, back to kl.. it is worth meeting you but it is waste in other thing (working salary, money and time)
4. from klang back to kl, the time when i am on my back.. it is time when everyone finish their work. surely it will have a lot people
5. okay then, the part 1-4 i can ignore, just went there to meet you.. i will spent a lots of money even if i dont eat or drink.. lets count.. 
• one day salary RM30 spend for taking leave
• RM5 fees for going ktm
• from KTM segambut to KTM klang ticket, pergi balik two way RM10
• from KTM klang to hin hua RM10
• from hin hua to KTM klang RM10
• RM5 fess for going back home from KTM segambut
6.  the problem is, i just go there AWHILE, why dont i save more time and money, meet next time, find a time that we can have more time

i hope you can understand.. so.. i ask you.. should i go this tuesday? do you want me to go this tuesday? or we will meet other day?

case 04 (problem communication)
i cant blame you only because i am having the same problem from myself to you. i cant make myself be normall to you, i scare you will dislike.. i want to get crazy and sampat with you, i want to get close with you too.. can i? and you are treating me a bit too cold and "gan ga" please dont..

love you - want to learn and communicate more with you

rei and yang LOVE

i remember the time when we know each other, it is on phone. if i am not mistaken, every time when we are on phone, we will talk with each other for a very long time. talk about some rubbish and funny thing. i wonder why our communication having some error "gan ga" is it because that we are in relationship now? i wanted to be very sampat with you, i wanted to be very nice and close to you. talk more than everything and have fun together. i want to hold your hand, hug you, and kiss you.

do you know that we lack of something in communicating ><
we need to get closer, but it is okay a.. we just be in relationship, sure it is hard to get close plus we didnt call each other for a long time already. i wish you call you every night, it will be sweet, if i can listen to your voice..

rei shi ge da sha gua, hen gan ga de da sha gua, dui wo qi qi guai guai bu gou zhi ran de.. ling dao wo ye bu zhi ran, ben ben de ni

i will make us stay close

love on AIR

射手男有个缺点也是优点的特质，那就是诚实！但是如果不看场合的诚实就有点讨人厌，偏偏生性自由海派的射手男，有时连得罪人都还觉得那不过是件小事。
可是爱面子重虚荣的狮子女，却会为射手男的太诚实抓狂，今天狮子女去买了件新衣服，还故意不告诉射手男说刷卡买的名牌货，想说这件Prada可用掉我半个月的薪水，刚好可以衬托我的高贵气质，在射手男的NBA球赛前晃来晃去，射手男终于在广告时间注意到了，开口说：咦！你的新衣服还真好看啊！正当狮子女要说出价钱时，射手男便说：便宜又大方，看起来有390的...价值喔！不过有点像我妈的风格！
此时已经火冒三丈的狮子女，除了河东狮吼外不会有其他反应的，所以奉劝射手男善意的谎言其实是必要的！

this is what i get when i ask for advise from 十二星座

very complicated, i dont understand even in pin yin form. but it is enough if my dear understand. i plan to call her tonight or later. i promise myself to be more brave, thats all. i am so sleepy and tired today. one day out to melaka, damn tiring..
nothing much to say today, why she always give me a type of worry feel..

i will regret if i dont appreciate now

i will try my best to maintain and appreciate this love. i hope to be your first and last. my purpose for being with you is giving you happiness. i love you, so i be with you, i want to give you the best of everything. i want to make you happy. everything that i do, it is for you. maybe i am stupid, but, i dont care, i will put all my heart in this relationship again. i am serious. i dont know what will happen in future. i just know that, we are together now, it is anything. i dont want to regret in future, i know i am a bit useless because i dont dare to do a lots of thing. i promise, i will give you all my love.
i never know that we will together someday, it is a very special relationship to me or us
love you

my stupidity to dear, i am childish

i am so damn sucking stupid, i sad for my own mistake without reason. i am going to blame other for my own mistake too. that's why horoscope say that i am not worth being believe. i am not a good person to be with, my personality is so damn negative.. i hate myself so much. being so playful. i don't want to be like this!! being dislike and hate by others!! this is not what i want!!
i want to be people that bring laughter,  i hate unhappiness and reality!! i like to smile and play, hate being serious and sad!!
i am making others feeling bad!! what am i? fuck!!

rei, wo zhen de hen ben, wo fa shi, wo yi hou dou bu hui zhe yang, zi hui ling ni kai xin

哭了 you make me worry

Sagittarius, people that wont admit own got wrong. all the wrong it have, sure it is other people fault. it is true, i use blaming always. i don't know what to do now. who to blame. who to ask. she is weird, since the time i went out with my friend. she don't tell me everything. i have a bad feeling about this. dear, don't make me worry. i hope that you can speak more with me, tell me everything. i am struggling my feel now, i want you, i need you. treat me like your dear. make me to be part in your life. replace me as the most important person in life. i promise that i will give you the best i can.

i don't want to say so much le =)

I CRY 哭了

my lovely REI

guess what happen..

i lovely rei

i have a new relationship already.. do you want to know who is her? CLICK HERE if you want to know who is her. she is from klang. age 15. name, Ruii =) born in year 1995.. >< actually, me and her, dont really know each other very long.. we never meet too..
wa.. so many thing want to write.. i just want to express, i dont really wanted to write a lot. i will write slowly then..
let's see.. i know Ruii from my ex, i feel that she is very interesting on first. she give me a feel that, she is not a good girl. mean, she like to lie boy, then very pervert too. lol, all this, i hear it from my ex. i dont really know her much. i dont get well with her too because i hate speechless people.
after breaking up, my life, my day, my living.. everything.. it is so empty and dark.. she is the one that bring me alive. accompany me always =) thanks dear ><

ni shuo, ni hen xi huan wo. wo ye hen xi huan ni. wo shi ren zhen de xi huan ni. jing wan, wo da shuan gen ni qing kou gao bai.. wo bu gan xie, wo ai ni, zi xie xi huan ni. hen pa, ni bu hui dui wo shuo.. dan shi ye bu yong jing de. ni ba wo xin de jie, da kai le, wo hen xi huan ni, wo shi shuo zhen de. wo hen xiang gen ni shuo hen duo dong xi, hen bu gan gen ni jiang..

be the one that i love, the one i love you.. 

self secret admire

can i make you believe me? honestly, i believe everything that you say. i obey what command you drop on me, i listen whatever you say. (you tell me that, your love position is not top). i want to know why.. to me, if you dont put your love in top position, it is impossible to have future. i dont want to explain so much, dislike it.. if you think it is not important, fine, i give up, hate so many explain.

yesterday, i meet a girl in sdo. her name is yuting if i am not mistaken. meet? nah.. dont really meet.. just knew someone there~ i forget that i got display my phone number in game. she call me = = walao.. i just like blur liao.. wtf, why suddenly got a cute girl sound call me? so it is fine then. btw.. i talk quite lots with her in this two day. i feel like, wow, i got a new talking partner already. and i want to F horoscope!! it is not accurate at all, it prove that i can be myself in front of them. honestly, i quite like her but i need a lot explain from her

next, i like another person that always accompany me too

i feel down because of you

am i expecting you to read my blog? is this the reason i write this? okay i try not to write for you. i hate expecting things that wont come true. you wont know my feeling. it is so late now, my current time is 2.05am and i should be sleeping now because tomorrow i got work. i dont feel like sleeping now because of you. last night, you treat me very cold, you make me sleep late but i wanted to sleep early..
it is a problem here, at first, you told me that your sis intro you a guy. you say it is fine, but i feel very.. jealous. yesterday, you cure my jealousy but today morning, you make me down again. i feel down for whole day. YOU TELL ME THAT THE GUY IS NOTHING BUT THEN, HE MAKE SO MANY TROUBLE TO YOU KNOW? i just dont want to care you anymore.. if you like that guy, then you go for it, it is fine. i wont die if i dont have you.
i am officially single and available now. searching for new love and relationship.. every girl that around me.. it is a chance. feel is by accept. some people will say "no feel how?" actually it see yourself "want to accept it or not" just dont care what i write or what i am trying to explain.
+ i dont know why i want to fan your problem so much if you dont put me in your heart
why dont i take you out from my heart, and i put it to other person? i hate you

heart stretching

today.. erm.. last night i said that i am going to sleep early already, but i sleep late.. tonight, i said it again, i must sleep early..today, her message come quite slow and simple.. (i get down easily by normal thing) i think i will have a short post for this. sibling, or family relationship, or some kind of relationship under relative or cousin.. getting well with them, and like them, it is normal right? i dont know.. i just get jealous without reason.. i hate myself..

maybe i am childish, or mind and thinking still not stable.. i get wu hui and offend very easily.. my mood can get down with small thing too. i dont like dont like dont like..so easy feel sad if got little bit problem.. jealous king.. i admit i am very easy get jealous..

sensitive and useless kid..

impatient guy..

just back home from eating ABC with friend at petaling jaya, walao.. rain leh..
actually i dont have much thing to write now but i want to write..
love only cure is love because you lose your love so you need to find it back. some wont need it anymore after losing but some no.. whatever.. losing patient again..

recently, and honestly.. there are not reason for me to hide anything here because this is my blog, and this is my world so i will write all my thing in blue word. i am wondering now, does she know that i am trying to get near her? i wanted to understand her more, i wanted to know her more.. or just say that i want to know her everything. fine then, the first night i didnt get her good night greeting or sms reply, it is just like.. damn it.. end already? it mean, our conversation finish? no more? scare.. i felt very upset and i sleep late.. okay then, after realizing that she give me a message at morning.. i am very relief until i sleep until very late.. middle case now.. i hope that i can have someone to guard.. mean, ask me to do something that it is good and i wont do even if i know

• bring water to work
• finish my lunch
• bring empty bottle back to home after work
• use heart to work, dont lazy
• quick a bit while doing thing
• work hard
• go to bath after work, dont bath late
• take care my face well
• save more money
• drink more water
• sleep early
• dont online so much

want someone to memorize me all this, or want her to tell me this. i can give hundred percent confirmation i will do. dont know why, i feel like, i only will listen what she ask me to do.. huh? weird.. i am a very stubborn guy, i dont listen to anyone and i dont do what people say.. i only will listen what she say. weird right.. she can control me. in horoscope, i can count as a hunter and she is a beast. horoscope explanation is very accurate and true.
=====hold on a second, searching for horoscope detail=====

Love Match - (her) and (me)

Fixed Fire and Mutable Fire

These two both have flaming passions, and a sense that life is an adventure to be celebrated. Dating involves play and possibly travel, with (me) drawing (her) outdoors and soon both are glowing with fresh fire in the cheeks. Falling in love makes them feel even more alive. The athletic Sadge stirs the lion out of laziness, and into the game of pleasure.

Trouble begins if (her) suspect that the Archer is an equal opportunity lover. (her) jealousy is a bad fit with the (me) pursuit of varied experience in romance. Their fires burn differently -- (her) is ignited by concentrated attention, and Sadge's sparks cover a lot of ground, in an ever-widening fire zone.
In a relationship, both are social, but Sadge travels further afield. Sadge needs to keep moving, and feel free to follow life's lead. If (her) feels lonely and unappreciated by the busy (me), trouble ensues. Sadge's need for freedom conflicts with the (her) desire to be swept up in an epic romance. Sadge can be a loving partner, but can't be totally devoted in the way (her) wants. A player Sadge with the prideful (her) is a recipe for disaster. It works when a commitment is in place that both value, and the bond is kept fresh through shared experiences. When (her) trusts that Sadge will return, the bond deepens through the many comings and goings. Kids, holidays, animals, friends, parties -- the (her)-Sadge household is vibrantly colorful. As long as they keep laughing, and work through their differences, this pair has a good run.

=====i am back from the thing i search=====
i am such a fool.. her is her horoscope, me is my horoscope. just simply search and match. i am so dumb and stupid, very easy get infected by people.. i get offend easily on how a people treat me..   red.. serious word and a very .. i dont know whether.. is there really no one reading here? it is good if yes.. i wanted to get another relationship, and my next target, it will be her.. i dont know whether that.. i got wrong choosing her? i start realize that actually distance is not a problem.. the most important is trusting each other and share our feel. share everything even people secret. i dont know about it.. in future who know who am i be with.. maybe i dont have future or i am single.. just try my best to own her. i feel.. there are something very weird.. i start to like her, i like the way she text me or care me. maybe it is friend. i hope to get well and close with her. i want to be another parts of person in her life. cincai la.. write what also no use in here. secret secret..

long time no contact with P already.. i wonder how is her right now.. quite worry and miss her, as friend ;)

leave it and find another one

recently, i found a sms partner, actually i want to write, i find a new sms partner but i dont feel that she is new to me. i know her from a long time, maybe she treat me cold a bit in past but this few day, we sms a lot. i never know that i will have another sms friend other than that "bird" @@
sometime, i am scare, will rei rei treat my sms like very cincai? even my ex doesnt really treat my sms seriously. she is still fine, chatting with her make me feel like i am not myself only. i never tell her that.
previously i meet a net friend that make me feel actually i am not alone too but she go to penang already..
okay then, lets say about her. who is her? i dont know.. lol.. guess yourself
by the way, i am reading her blog now, still not yet finish reading. i see that she have same incidence like me and she know what i feel. there are something same about us too but it is last time. not now.
everyone have own life, and i have mine. mind your own business, i mean my business. there are not reason interrupting other people life. er.. i dont know..
she didnt reply my sms yet, sleeping in the car, on her way back home or busy talking or chatting with others. yesterday, dont know why i suddenly feel like . . . mean speechless.. she tell me that she is chatting with 14years old uncle.. LOL i thought she play those adopting relationship with kids again. actually it was her cousin/relative huh? i feel speechless because i dont want to interrupt them if she really have guy.
i confirm that she is really available only i go after it. just like what i have say, i dont know how to woo a girl, how can i chase people? by time.. knowing each other more.
so what is the reason i am writing here? ya.. see blog title..
in my life now, girl that i can go after dont have much.. got one in facebook, but, she dont really care a damn on me, so i think i will give up her. another one.. "own blog also need to secret:" cant say.
merdeka!!!
aiyo.. what day is this.. sien.. so many people must be having fun now.. i hope i can celebrate with people too.. gathering with friends or lovers are very nice.. i love to be happy, i like to smile and laugh..
another important things. love, is distance really a problem? not very far actually. transportation problem. lala i dont know. important is happy, thats all. i am insane now, think so far already.. whatever..

living in darkness
a knight without princess..
i wonder.. what can a knight do?
is there reason for him to survive? without princess?
or.. is there any princess that is available for me?

dui ni zuo bu dao de shi

bu zhi dao zuo me wo hui jue de hen xin tong, kan dao ni zhe yang wo ye bang bu dao.
qi shi bu shi wo bang bu dao ba, wo jue de bu shu yao wo qu zuo de.
zi i bu shu fu, jiu yao hui zhao gu, bu ran jiu ting hua, ren shuo de ni jiu yao ting.
wo hen pa ru guo ke shou yan zhong le, ying wei zhen de hen xing ku.
wo you xiang dao, mai ke sou yao shui gei ni, dan shi ni mama hui mai de.
hen xiang yao ni hen jian kang de, bu xiang kan dao ni bu shu fu, wo gan jue hen nan guo.
wo bu zhi dao wei shen me wo hui xie zhe ge dong xi ar, dan xin er yi, bie wu hui.
dan shi ye bu hui you ren qu kan de. hao xiang di yi ci xie na li duo de pin yin.
jin tian 16-08-2010 xing qi yi. yi ding bu ke yi you shi >< he duo dian shui, qiu qiu..
ru guo wo zhen de wei ni liu di yi ge yan lei jiu bu hao lo.
shuo zhen de, kan dao ni you yi zhong na me bu zhen shi de guan xi, wo jue de hen ke lian. qi shi zhe ge shi bu zhen de, dan shi jiu liao hui fa sheng gan ching, zui hou de jie guo yi ding hen xing ku. bu zhi dao la, tao yan ni.
mei shen me xiang xie le, qi shi wo xiang.. bu xie le
dui ni zuo bu dao de shi, kan bu hao ni, kan zhe ni zhe wang, walao wo hui beh tahan. xin tong si liao

hope to have a new love, anyone giving me a chance?

it is just like a nonsense, asking people to give a chance for this kind of thing. actually, if you know more about me already, slowly you will understand that i have reason behind this. actually, i am feeling so lonely.. it is already very obvious.. i dont have friend, dont have someone to talk with, dont have people to accompany.. me and my family cant get together, so we dont talk. in my life, i dont talk a lot too. i need love a lot. seriously. i am expecting someone to give me a chance if we can be together.

i am type that treat relationship very seriously, not playing or what. i hope to have a long lasting too [forever] to me, if you know a relationship wont be forever, why still you start? if got problem in relationship. then solve it, sure no problem ma, why want to say a lot..

[in the middle of dont know what to write liao]

feeling dizzy now.. selfish love, hate this a lot. whatever, dont say this ba.. sad only
today actually want to write long de, but i keep jor, finish ba, no mood

i am a bad boy

very damn shitting bad me.. i am a very bad person, i am and it is real, dont ask me why, i am so damn reality too, maybe my feeling now is normal but i still think it is bad and not suppose to be so bad.

another thing, yes, i am bad but i am not 100% bad, if i want to be bad, i must be in complete 100% bad. darn it, i hate myself for not being so flirtatious, in real feeling type of it ba. say in real, but with other way to someone. can i do it? no.. i hate.. dislike.. argh!!

bad cannot complete bad, half half, go eat shit, training make perfect, if i want, train make me do, lets see how i change, confidences up up!!

apologize, i am not a good person

i discuss one thing with my friend today about love and myself, now i know actually i am doing a very sohai thing. i am so damn useless and bad, i dont have to mind and care if i like. i like then i wont care anything, otherwise i dont like then it will be okay. things i dislike effect me a lot on how i think on someone, sien..

from now on, start to be random thinking, make everything come randomly, dont repeat my stupidity already.. i am an asshole leh >< lan diu dao yao si. okay la, just note something down only, will i make post after later? maybe.. see i got what i want to say or not. this post de reason is apologize, dont need forgive, i am stupid, i am wrong, i am bad, i am useless, i will change, i wont repeat, i will be good

it is annoying? i felt very so..

today what i want to say de is.. topic is about.. annoying feel given to me by human.. it is myself that feeling annoying? lets see, start with SDO game chatting.. no, wait a minute.. tell you what annoys me or tell how make me annoy?

er.. chatting that write = = or oo or zz this is what related, make me feel annoy.. does this make you all annoy? example of chat

• Tearious : hi how are you?
• example : i am fine
• Tearious : how is your day?
• example : okay lo

 (this is dont feel like chatting with you, only cincai care you) better dont chat, make me sad nia

• example : hi
• Tearious : yo! =D how are you?
• example : fine

(is this people want to chat?) hate this thing happen everytime

• Tearious : oi, today how?
• example : = =?

(this is a friend, not those not unknown)

• example : hi how are you today
• Tearious : haih.. today work so sien..
• example : oo..

(?? walao.. oo.. work sien.. oo) annoying.. hate

this is human? now only i know.. not everyone i know are like this, but most are like this.. sometime i really mad and dont care them + ignore them, some only come to say hi then when chat thing, they goes oo.. dont even care a damn.

actually sometime i really need and wants someone that can chat with me always, sms with me always, always let me share my stuff and talk my thing, share its stuff to me too, something like sharing our story and heart, feelings and more.. is this soulmate? things i write here no one will read or see de ba? i really hope and want someone that really care my everything, cheer me up always.. 


one more thing about stupidity and no brain useless reality eat shit me <<
girl that i like

1. kind enough
2. tomboy and playful, kind also
3. older than me, not mature but very small in heart, feel younger than me
4. young, cute, dont need to be pretty
5. age under 17- schooling, younger than me
6. now? pretty << know how to think

walao weh.. guy eye must sharp and know how to choose leng girl, leng and nice. type of girl i like before is listed up there. cincai say nia, still got more inner things. bad la me, start choosing girl liao, own also not very leng zai, sien

hate angry dislike mad myself and everyone.. no good people liao de in this world, all make me upset, this blog is tell all people you all is making me not happy..

What a Girl wants to hear 女孩最想听到的

What a Girl wants to hear

Girl: Thanks for the fun day

Boy: No problem

Girl: Can i ask you few questions?

Boy: Sure o.o

Girl: And....

Girl: Be honest

Girl: Have i ever crossed your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl:  Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if i left

Boy: no

Girl: would you live for me?

Boy: no

Girl: Would you do anything for me

Boy: no

Girl: Choose me or your life

Boy: my life

The girl run away with shock depression

The boy ran after her and told her...

The reason you never crossed my mind because

You Always in my mind

The reason why i don't like you is because

I love you

The reason i don't want is because

I need you

The reason why i wouldn't cry if left

Because i'll die if you left

The reason i wouldn't live for you because

I would die for you

The reason i'm not willing do anything for you is because

I would do everything for you

The reason i chose my life is because

You are my life

The End

女孩最想听到的

女：感谢你陪我度过快乐的一天

男孩：不客气

女孩：我可以问你几个问题吗？

男孩：当然o.o

女：还有....

女：要诚实

女孩：我是否让你想起我？

男孩：没有

女孩：你喜欢我吗？

男孩：没有

女：你想我吗？

男孩：没有

女孩：如果我离开你会哭吗？

男孩：不会

女孩：你会为我而生吗？

男孩：不会

女孩：你会为我做任何事吗？

男孩：不会

女孩：你会选择我还是你的人生

男孩：我的人生

女孩情绪低落的走掉

男孩追着她，告诉她...

你从没在我的脑海里，因为

你永远在我心中

不喜欢你的原因是因为我

我爱你

我之所以不要因为

我需要你

如果你离开了我，我不会哭

因为我会死，

我不会为你而活，但是

我会为你而死

我之所以不愿意为你做任何事情，因为

我会为你做所有事情

我之所以选择我的人生

因为你就是我的人生

完

FIND ar FIND ar FIND ar.. tak de..

i dont care eh eh eh eh eh @@
this song, nice leh.. everytime read my blog remember listen and read ><
today is a very very busy day, actually it is a very moody day too but whatever la.. i dont know whats into me recently.. today i have some talk with my friend about girls, he curious and ask, is girl very important? but why? got girl really nice? to me, i need a girl to accompany always, i want to talk everything with her, i am so lonely and empty. wahaha, my friend ask me, why use "kosong" to describe lonely, it feel very emptiness.. sometime like nothing, to me, it is really nothing. until now, i dont see any girl that will tell me anything about her, and i can tell anything to her. no and dont have. sharing is caring, jealous is caring, argue is caring. without this, it is not love.

i wonder, this world still got human that can let me be with or not, love her very much, wont ignore me, making me annoying and very love me. i need a girl to care and a girl to care me, mind about me and let me mind about her. lalala hate dislike.. hate those people that dont know what i feel and wants, hate those that make me mad when my mood is not good. hate.

love my current blogging feel, a very silent blog to my future girl >< will read de ma? maybe no =p argh.. sien de la think this, so fast dream ><

anything else miss liao forget want to write, hm..
yaya i remember now.. human selfish think own only, sometime do wrong thing only know ask for forgiveness, do wrong, do right back, sometime cannot return liao, then do again la, do a better one, dont fail anymore. sien sei, hate kena ignore, better dont choi me

stronger!! get more stronger!!

a very nice song that i have share >< haih~ no one will appreciate and listen ba.. today after lunch, i get a type of strength from.. MYSELF of course LOL sorry god, it is myself, i feel that i always show a very weak me to anyone. i wont get someone to admire me if i always get so weak.

i want to find a good girl, i want to find a girl to love, a true love that wont make me feel alone and lonely, can always make me feel that she is on my side >< i know i will find one but not now.. forever love not easy to find la, if easy find also wont  very good ba?

true love ar >< so sampat.. too lonely le ba, today only write this, i will become more stronger!!

i am so lonely very 寂寞

everyone have its own life, everybody have own living and entertainment, i am so sleepy now.. actually i dont feel like writing blog already but whatever. i dont know what people think recently, they it is so damn selfish until they dont realize, obvious selfish and dont know actually it is upsetting me..

i say, no one will know what i feel "how you know i dont know your feel" dont act that you know me a lot. my heart is so empty, life is so lonely. i wont have anyone that can always on phone with me, online with me, on outing with me, on heart with me, wont have anymore..

sometime i dont get what my friend mean, sometime my friend dont get what i mean. my friend always say "you dont have girl can die?" not this meaning la..

sien.. write more next time

injuries

i can die because of suffering, i really cant take my breath when i am having this type of treatment, it is stressing me. i am so damn unhappy and sad for that. love at this age will not last, fuck you!! hate this word. i wont agree this type of thing, so fucking shit. nothing is perfect, even god is not perfect if it exist of course. create SINS? wa lan neh.. tonight i want to accompany Carmen for her project stuff, hope she done it quick and early. pity for me, no apology or thanks. of course i dont expect it but do you think it is a bit stupid? nah.. it is very stupid..

sometime there are no choice but to eliminate.. i hate it so i destroy it, i angry it so i kill it.

i love you, so love you

live is so unhappy

since that i dont know how to be a good boyfriend, i think i have no choice already.. i am not going to waste my time on her already. and i am not going to be in relationship anymore until i become perfect.

22june2010
i have decide, i dont want to let myself suffer in hurt anymore. since that i can make my own girlfriend listen to me, i will let go of her and set her free. i believe in future she will have a greater boyfriend or guy that can treat her well, it wont be me anymore, i choose  to surrender..

living like this is very suffering, i dont know whats going onto her at all, and she is not feeling like telling me. relationship is just like.. we are having a net between us. there are still something that we cant share although we together for almost half year or one year.

i hope she will read this someday, to understand what i feel. i cant imagine if i am her, what does she feel. my feeling is so bad now.. she wont know what i feel, never know...

when i feel sad, she will only angry me if i show her i am sad now
if i am angry, she wont ask why and she dont want to know the reason, she only will angry me
everytime when i mood is down, she will only angry me back
she got ask why but just ask, then, nothing..


bu gou guan xin wo

reason is i dont want to feel unhappy anymore
i will treat her as cold as i can, let her let me go
she wont feel any different of me, she will leave me with hatred
she will think i am not good, so she will find a better one in future
treat her cold without love, thats all, it will end

my prediction
for normal people, they will think, whats wrong with you, you are not like always, but to her, she will angry me and leave me

i dont want to feel unhappy anymore    





因为我不知道怎样做一个好的男朋友，我想我已经没有其 他选择..我不想浪费我的时间在她的了。我不打算再在关系，直到我变成完美。

22june2010
我已经决定，我不想让自己蒙受伤害了。因为，我可以作出自己的女朋友听我的，我会放过她，使 她的自由。我相信她在未来将有更大的男友或拉索，可以治疗她的 好，它不会是我了，我选择放弃..

这样的生活是很痛苦，我不知道什么会到她的所有，而她 并没有告诉我的感觉一样。关系就像..我们有我们之间网。还有什么我们办不到的，虽然我们一起分享了将近半年或 一年。

我希望有一天她会读这个，要明白我的感受。我言不由衷之词想一想，如果我是她，她是什么感觉。我现在的感觉是如此糟糕..她知道我习惯的感觉，从来不知道...

当我感到悲伤，她只会生气我，如果我告诉她，我现在很 伤心
如果我生气，她习惯于问为什么，她不要想知道的原因， 她只是我会生气
每次当我心情下，她只回我生气
她问为什么，但只得到了问，那么，什么..

布沟关新禾

原因是我不想再感到不满
我将把她作为冷，因为我可以让她让我走
她惯于我感到有任何的不同，她会留下仇恨我
她会认为我不好，所以她会找到一个更好的未来
她没有爱的冷处理，这就是一切，这将结束

我的预测
正常的人，他们会认为，whats你错了，你总是不喜 欢，但对她，她会生气我，离开我

我不想再感到不满